Steadfast love

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OH BABY! [/b]

I wanted you
I took you
I used you
Then I spurned you

Now I need you
I miss you
Cause I love you

"Oh baby, please come back to me!"

lost but never forgotten

they were young
but even now she
feels his arm around her shoulder
she can still smell
the sweetness of him
see the smile
only meant for her
he always shared the most
wonderful stories
and made her part of his dreams
he was a brilliant star
that lit up her sky
they could sit in complete
silence and just know

he was called far away
to help some friends
he wanted her to go
but thought she should stay behind
he would return in less than a month
and the thought of her being there
when he returned
was more than he needed or expected
she watched torn as he drove away
not knowing it would be the last time
she would see him alive
to this day she wonders....why?

Mi Amor,
 
Your tears are seedlings
For the dark waters I sail  
Shed no more for me  
 
Ocean filled sorrow
Breeds perilous depths and waves
Camouflaging reefs
 
Stand in the crow's nest
To see the breath of my sails
In my flight to thee
 
My hull carved by you
My masthead, your ripe body
Guides me fearlessly
 
Navigate our course
I trust the light of your eyes  
To find our kingdom  
 
We can only fail
If clouds tween the stars and us  
Are held to be truth  
 
Kneeling on your shores
I'm captive to torrent waves
Surrendered in bliss
 
Your caramel hands
Coated in sugar burrow
Into ebony  
 
The lapping laughter
Of mermaids tickles our ears
With each cresting ebb
 
We find a sweet truce
Until the next battle cry  
harkens Your vessel  
 
Te amo mi reina  

On falling too deep

No greater sadness
have I than knowing mine
are the eyes no longer finding
your face familiar.

Than knowing mine
are the hands no longer finding
your skin silken.

Than knowing mine
are the ears no longer finding
your voice velvet.

Than knowing mine
is the nose no longer finding
your scent endearing.

Than knowing mine
is the mouth no longer finding
your lips intoxicating.

Than knowing mine
is the heart no longer finding
yours waiting

and the reason being
my knowledge that waters
underneath the bridge
though still will drown
me over and over again.

"'Tis Ignoramus Love (Adwoa Xanthe)"

I'm probably incognizant of definiendums
Well, and opt to some aesthetic
Or maybe seldom clocking
Dunderheaded
If love...
IS not on the antipode of the plenty riddles
But was cobble up instead
And not as
Said...
Behold! A sea of gold when this started!
Some mini issues though, regardless
We can grow through the darkness
Ain't like we don't suppose to argue!
But...
The bind of the twine of time is unwinding lo
Something else evokes our heart
Like not before...
Underhanded
Maybe you hear
I try and make it clear
But It's just...
Misunderstanding
My top abhor
Maybe we could manage baby
Hate can be disbanded? Maybe
You and I to unify although the planet's crazy
But it'd seem the larger spark is forsooken
What if the thing within your heart is what you are overlooking?
Oh...
Telling me you love me but I only wish you meant it
And I hate to see lamenting
It's mighty troubling
Take away the weeping for a season
Dry your eyes and hug me
But alas...
I finally get it
And this is something
So to think it's best that we receded for some time to think
I mean... I'm sure of what I want but
Are you the same?
Saying the fact became too complicated to explain
But the view would
Change!
Now we stuck complaining spewing blame!
On the two...
And want nobody else but you
I don't believe you feel the same
It's only true...
You know the problem spell a noun out
The verb being the reason that you ain't trying to settle down now
So, on the move...
But it's factitious
Holding on to parts or throwing shards of broken hearts aside?
Someone, other than I, to grant your happiness
For mine...
Now I hope you find and own that which can find your soul
Not my want that I shall go
But it's time to roll
Lo...
I just lit up the gasper
I say, a couple days later, mobiles lit up, who answered?
'Tis Ignoramus love

Tougher now


Now,
In the middle of,
Winter.

I can,
Finally,
Begin,
To think about,
Last,
Summer —

And you;

And us.


Sitting here,
Looking out,
At the snow,
Falling softly,
To earth —

I am reminded,
Of the rain,
That fell,
Gently;
Wetting us,
As we walked,
In the garden,
In no particular hurry,
To get to no particular place,
For no particular reason,
Peculiarly content,
In each others,
Company.


Last night,
Listening to the wind,
Drive the ice crystals,
Against the window,
Huddled,
Deeply cozy,
Under the feather comforter,
Nested in the center of the bed,
Curled around myself,
Missing cuddling with you.


You opened your body,
To me,
I opened my heart,
To you,
You kept hidden,
Your soul,
From me.


That morning,
When I awoke,
Alone;
All that remained of you,
Was a pair,
Of drying panties,
Hanging over,
The shower curtain rod;
Too wet for you,
To have packed;
And an almost empty,
Coffee cup,
In the kitchen sink.


I caught myself,
The other day,
In the mall,
Waiting for you,
Outside that store,
You love,
With a dress,
In the window,
That would look,
Wonderful on you;
And it hurt,
Knowing I would,
Never see you,
Wearing it.


Someone said,
You can only be hurt,
In your heart,
By someone,
To whom,
You have opened your heart;
You hurt me;
It still hurts.

The hurt is beginning,
To scab over.

Scabs form a protective layer,
Tougher that the original was.

I will be slower to love;
Tougher in giving my love;
Slower to expose myself;
Tougher to hurt again.

I’ve grown.

But I still hurt.

And,
Likely,
Always will:
At least,
In remembering you.

    

enough for two


Fresh ground,
Then brewed,
Morning coffee.

Enough for two.

Two cups on the table.

Bagels and smear for two.

But you were gone.

I had,
For a moment,
Again,
Forgotten.

Sigh.

My letters bear wings,
Now,forth these pages may fly,
And approach you trembling,
With sorrow-filled eyes.

I could think of no other way,
To bear or master the pain,
Of the dawning reality,
That we'll never see again.

My heart's completely shattered,
My soul's sorrow-torn,
Telling the truth's all that matters,
Can't fool myself anymore.

I was hurt when I found out,
You're keeping a double date,
In jealous anger I yelled out,
It was a moment of hate.

But little did I know,
That just a moment of madness,
Will steal my very glow,
And plunge me into sadness.

My days are boring and empty,
My nights are misery-filled,
All hopes of ever seeing thee,
Is gone eternally.

So I simply hold on to our past,
Sweet memories left behind,
If time can be taken back,
My girl you'll still be mine.

Four Years
Its been so long since you left.
I forgotten how you sound.
How you look. Who you are.
Ive changed so much.
Would you still love me?
Would you hate who I am?
Do I still look like you?
I can't tell. I hope I do.
Four years.
Fours years to the day.
I feel like I'm losing you a little more every day.
Losing your face.
Your words.
Losing the way you talk.
Losing more of you every day.
Four years.
I hate myself.
You wouldn't like that but its true.
Nobody knows but me.
In the blur of the painful memories,
What I remember most is that I never said goodbye.
And then you were gone.
And I felt nothing.
And nothing.
For a long long time.
For year.
Four years.
Damn, how time can pass.
Would you still be my best friend if you knew who I am now?
I'm losing you from myself.
I don't talk like you anymore.
I don't walk like you.
Or act like you.
I wish I did.
Maybe she would look at me if I did.
I wish I had said goodbye.
And that our last conversation hadn't been a fight.
You kept me safe.
You saved my life.
Four years.
Sometimes I'm still numb.
But when I see you, in a laugh or a smile.
I hurt so much.
I hate myself.
For years. Four years.
Damn how time can pass.

Thanks for all the replies
All these poems are pretty damn good

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A Day Without Stirring

I am lost without you today, my love.
Even move I cannot do.
I lie in bed and cover my head
and long for only you.

I grasp my locket tightly to my chest,
inside is a picture of you.
I cannot think, I cannot stir,
I am consumed by memories, too.

Of your face in autumn, your lips in spring,
your winter loveliness.
I cry at the thought of you loving another,
my heart is in distress.

But you are hers, and hers alone.
She holds you in her arms.
I have lost my world, the man I love,
your preciousness, your charms.

Afternoon Service

We bury her in the dark, noisy sanctum
near the air conditioner. The earth
so hard and dry it barely crumbles
beneath your plastic shovel.

Lumps of gray hold her feathers in place,
silk and satin juxtaposed against grime and grit.
They ripple tremulously in the breeze,
mirror the softened trembling of your lips.

Your little hands cannot resist these textures,
tearing at the holes in the stories.
How love cannot save something so fragile,
doomed from the start.

How it won't erase
the black circles under my eyes,
ever bring your father and I
back together again.

(If this is too many entries please disregard.)

[some adult content]

Journal of a Grief

I.

You had those hands that looked like
they always got dirty.

I want every part of you to fit within me.

You were going to be late for an appointment.
Sunlight constricted everything.
The shock of your face
as if I never truly remembered it.
I dropped on one knee in dampened grass
while you grabbed my hair
and eased your world into me.

The effortless arousal at your command
to take you into me,
pushing,
pulling.
Something so natural,
I wept as you fed me.

II.

I have not showered in three days.  
Haven't brushed my teeth.

I found a picture of myself
from high school. Blond, slim. Pretty.  
I hated myself then just as I hate myself now.

III.

Once you let me rub your back.  
My hands shook violently from desire
and the Wellbutrin.

I learned you with my fingers,
studying everything, aching to remember.  
The ring of tanned skin at your neckline.  
The moles upon your back.
Your muscled arms bearing snake-like tattoos.

Your head was down, you seemed entranced.  
I peeked over your shoulder
to see you texting someone.  
My hands retracted back into my lap.
I pressed my head to your back.
Shut my eyes.

Just listening.

IV.

Because of modern technology and social networking,
I am able to stalk you.

I stare at pictures of you, your wife, your child.  
They are beautiful and perfect, just as you are.  

I learn your likes and dislikes, your dreams,
idiosyncrasies. Nothing that you share with me
when we are alone.

If something happened to you, if you died,
I would never know.

V.

Now, my face is your face.
My mouth, your mouth
which I remember not to touch.
Still the betrayal of my tongue
running over your lips,
learning all a tongue can remember.

Hollow Love






Its hard for me to forget you
Maybe i just don't know how to
Just leave me in this sweet suffering  
Its better than suffering without you
Lets pretend that we are strangers
Well after all its true
I wont keep watering with my tears
The love that never grew
This hollow love you give me  
Always leaves me needing more
But every time we start again
Its far worse than before
I can touch but never reach you
You're close and yet so far
Now i will just have to accept
That you are who you are
I know that its not real
But i cant help the way i feel
I just want to be near you once again
Ill lay down my resentment
And take up a new contentment
Despite our past we'l still remain as friends