Poetry competition CLOSED 16th June 2014 11:12am
WINNER
JohnFeddeler
JohnFeddeler
Bukowski/Dylan
Once upon a girl (Dylan, Bukowski in that order-together for chorus)
Some say it all went too fast
holding on to the edges
as you sink on back
climbing on brick walls
as Faye hops along
pledges parked under streetlight
We traded bottles while swapping sin
she told me I was too old
to be all alone
I said she was too young
to be so bothersome
as air dried between the distance
Cold, cold and all alone
cold, cold and all alone
cold calls and I am home
there there now rest me down
Sudden days where my eyes held tight
she looked to me, whishing
while I just curled inside
someone said hey,
there's a man in there
I drifted off to sleep cause I didn't care
I came to believe we painted those walls
but after awhile, thankfully
it was just me in the corner
I paint purely for myself
and she was just stains
left on a bed, covering heather
Cold, cold and all alone
cold, cold and all alone
cold calls and I am home
there there now rest me down
So here I sit in my own mind
remembering promises line upon line
rapping about shadows
as the light pours in
those future times, surprise
simply called mine
Reaching out into a false light
I realized there was more on the shelf
so plentiful and labeled
I knew how each one should taste
looking back at the mirror, laughing
I knew just where I stood
Cold, cold and all alone
cold, cold and all alone
cold calls and I am home
there there now rest me down
(purely character piece- jus' sayin'
)
(Thoughts)
*I loved these guys and what they gave...but as people...
to me they seemed as cold, self-centered individuals with only their purposes as propellers.
Dylan seemed to abhor love and treated it as distraction and total disbelief in its truth.
Where as Bukowski seemed to believe in love, once in awhile finding pieces of it...but felt he was better off alone.
this is how ive always viewed them-and they very much resemble my Father.
ok i'll shut up
Some say it all went too fast
holding on to the edges
as you sink on back
climbing on brick walls
as Faye hops along
pledges parked under streetlight
We traded bottles while swapping sin
she told me I was too old
to be all alone
I said she was too young
to be so bothersome
as air dried between the distance
Cold, cold and all alone
cold, cold and all alone
cold calls and I am home
there there now rest me down
Sudden days where my eyes held tight
she looked to me, whishing
while I just curled inside
someone said hey,
there's a man in there
I drifted off to sleep cause I didn't care
I came to believe we painted those walls
but after awhile, thankfully
it was just me in the corner
I paint purely for myself
and she was just stains
left on a bed, covering heather
Cold, cold and all alone
cold, cold and all alone
cold calls and I am home
there there now rest me down
So here I sit in my own mind
remembering promises line upon line
rapping about shadows
as the light pours in
those future times, surprise
simply called mine
Reaching out into a false light
I realized there was more on the shelf
so plentiful and labeled
I knew how each one should taste
looking back at the mirror, laughing
I knew just where I stood
Cold, cold and all alone
cold, cold and all alone
cold calls and I am home
there there now rest me down
(purely character piece- jus' sayin'
) (Thoughts)
*I loved these guys and what they gave...but as people...
to me they seemed as cold, self-centered individuals with only their purposes as propellers.
Dylan seemed to abhor love and treated it as distraction and total disbelief in its truth.
Where as Bukowski seemed to believe in love, once in awhile finding pieces of it...but felt he was better off alone.
this is how ive always viewed them-and they very much resemble my Father.
ok i'll shut up
Anonymous
thank you, Soula...nice work 
your opinions on their characters may well be spot on. I have to say that I think differently of them both, but do see the two as asses for sure. Talented asses though and just like I don't know who might beat their wife and kids and pets here on DUP - I am just about how people write and if I can feel something from reading it.
In fact, if I cut out all the artists who are/were horrible people from my repertoire , there wouldn't be much left! LOL
Artists are difficult characters and writers are no exception
and I have never met my father....no comparisons ;-)
your opinions on their characters may well be spot on. I have to say that I think differently of them both, but do see the two as asses for sure. Talented asses though and just like I don't know who might beat their wife and kids and pets here on DUP - I am just about how people write and if I can feel something from reading it.
In fact, if I cut out all the artists who are/were horrible people from my repertoire , there wouldn't be much left! LOL
Artists are difficult characters and writers are no exception
and I have never met my father....no comparisons ;-)
mikimoondancer said:thank you, Soula...nice work
your opinions on their characters may well be spot on. I have to say that I think differently of them both, but do see the two as asses for sure. Talented asses though and just like I don't know who might beat their wife and kids and pets here on DUP - I am just about how people write and if I can feel something from reading it.
In fact, if I cut out all the artists who are/were horrible people from my repertoire , there wouldn't be much left! LOL
Artists are difficult characters and writers are no exception
and I have never met my father....no comparisons ;-)
-Tuth
your opinions on their characters may well be spot on. I have to say that I think differently of them both, but do see the two as asses for sure. Talented asses though and just like I don't know who might beat their wife and kids and pets here on DUP - I am just about how people write and if I can feel something from reading it.
In fact, if I cut out all the artists who are/were horrible people from my repertoire , there wouldn't be much left! LOL
Artists are difficult characters and writers are no exception
and I have never met my father....no comparisons ;-)
-Tuth
Anonymous
so, I sat one day
wishing these two had done a collab and wondering what it would read like...highly amusing thoughts
thus this comp! I suddenly ached to read such writings and the ones entered here did not let me down..I honestly found something great about all of them and found so much good in so many of them that I can;t even try on runners up....
I picked the one that gave me the strongest "Dylan and Bukowski" vibe..it was not easy.
congrats to the winner! thank you ALL (Craic-yours did shape up into a fine entry by the way-has the Irie vibe)
wishing these two had done a collab and wondering what it would read like...highly amusing thoughts
thus this comp! I suddenly ached to read such writings and the ones entered here did not let me down..I honestly found something great about all of them and found so much good in so many of them that I can;t even try on runners up....
I picked the one that gave me the strongest "Dylan and Bukowski" vibe..it was not easy.
congrats to the winner! thank you ALL (Craic-yours did shape up into a fine entry by the way-has the Irie vibe)
Congratulations John for your Livin' the Blues...I like it as well! Just watch a documentary of "Bukowski:Born Into This" last night and find out more about this well loved poet in Hollywood. I could have given you a run for your money if I had watched this sooner (LOL)! To the rest of you, I feel honored to be a part in your very good creative endeavors.
Anonymous
EngrVV said:Congratulations John for your Livin' the Blues...I like it as well! Just watch a documentary of "Bukowski:Born Into This" last night and find out more about this well loved poet in Hollywood. I could have given you a run for your money if I had watched this sooner (LOL)! To the rest of you, I feel honored to be a part in your very good creative endeavors.
your comment reminded me of a similar thing that happened to me on here-someone (Grace) ran a comp that I thought I understood well..then as soon as the comp ended I learned all about the topic!
Great viewing though and thank you :-)
your comment reminded me of a similar thing that happened to me on here-someone (Grace) ran a comp that I thought I understood well..then as soon as the comp ended I learned all about the topic!
Great viewing though and thank you :-)
mikimoondancer said:[quote-267645-EngrVV]Congratulations John for your Livin' the Blues...I like it as well! Just watch a documentary of "Bukowski:Born Into This" last night and find out more about this well loved poet in Hollywood. I could have given you a run for your money if I had watched this sooner (LOL)! To the rest of you, I feel honored to be a part in your very good creative endeavors.
your comment reminded me of a similar thing that happened to me on here-someone (Grace) ran a comp that I thought I understood well..then as soon as the comp ended I learned all about the topic!
Great viewing though and thank you :-)[/quote]
You're welcome Miki and thanks as well for the comp. I wish I was into poetry earlier and should have known Bukowski sooner because I had been walking in his shoes for the past decades until I got sober. I could have met him in person because I used to live in California.
your comment reminded me of a similar thing that happened to me on here-someone (Grace) ran a comp that I thought I understood well..then as soon as the comp ended I learned all about the topic!
Great viewing though and thank you :-)[/quote]
You're welcome Miki and thanks as well for the comp. I wish I was into poetry earlier and should have known Bukowski sooner because I had been walking in his shoes for the past decades until I got sober. I could have met him in person because I used to live in California.
Anonymous
life is crazy..
you know now-and that means everything
I'm a VERY late bloomer at most things
I relate to many of the Poets and wish I'd read them sooner too--as real people I ruined my poetry reading ability for years because of taking classes on it-I thought it was all sonnets and tried to sleep through it all and maintain a B
you know now-and that means everything
I'm a VERY late bloomer at most things
I relate to many of the Poets and wish I'd read them sooner too--as real people
I ruined my poetry reading ability for years because of taking classes on it-I thought it was all sonnets and tried to sleep through it all and maintain a B 
