Poetry competition CLOSED 19th August 2013 2:07am
WINNER
vortexman
vortexman
RUNNERS-UP:
Abracadabra
and HadesRising
Page:
Disgusting Bodily Functions
Poetry Contest Description
How gross can you be?
Write a poem about any one or all of those nasty things that happen with your body--boogers, farts, projectile vomitting, diarrhea, burping, mucous, etc.
Here's your chance to be an all out disgusting slob in public, and let 'er rip!
Up to 3 submissions, any style, length, no collabs
Go for it--I've worked in a laboratory for 26+ years and have seen it all....or have I? What can you come up with that I haven't come across yet?
Here's your chance to be an all out disgusting slob in public, and let 'er rip!
Up to 3 submissions, any style, length, no collabs
Go for it--I've worked in a laboratory for 26+ years and have seen it all....or have I? What can you come up with that I haven't come across yet?
[This is planned as number 13 in my Limerick of the day series- I hope you don't mind the duplication]
A blubbery man from Hereford
Had his diet dashed by his adored
Her strange fetish of late
To watch him defecate
Meant his foreplay was to eat till gorged.
A blubbery man from Hereford
Had his diet dashed by his adored
Her strange fetish of late
To watch him defecate
Meant his foreplay was to eat till gorged.
I excrete. MY feces nuclear colored green forever staining
the commode interior as well as seat.
Whenever I sneeze I blast bloody snot like buckshot across the
room. Before I squeeze out the most sweetest rotten fart that
would make you Nauseated and face turn blue.
My room at night the air gets thick and stagnate like a rotted
tomb. Opening windows don't seem to cut the odor nor does 8 cans
of disinfect cut this stench of a stew.
Call me the plague fiend. The harbinger of the coming final
global horror of horrors. The incubator of the 4 horseman's
deeds.
Anonymous
WE ARE BUT PRIMATES
Although they say we are above angels
That is not the way the body functions
From the moment that you are born
The scene is bloody filled with
Urine, feces, amniotic fluid
Rushing out, gushing, the doctor
Wears see-through headgear
No sooner than we are born
Thousands of diapers are necessary
For our urine and our feces
Filling the rubbish mountains
Then when a girl is of age
She develops breasts and pubic hair
Worse she bleeds down there
The unlucky bleed so hard
A tampon cannot be enough
Think of overnight pads
May last you through the morning
Then we all sweat
Mostly in the pits and the groin
Bathing is a must
Some of us obsess too much
Shower two or three times a day
Then the unwelcome visit to the hospital
Needing a bedpan or going in bed
The humiliation of the rectal
Or vaginal examination
With a score of medical students
Taking notes while they view you
Teaching hospitals are necessary
For where will the young doctors
Nurses and other health-care team members
Get to know what they need
To help those humans with their frail bodies
We are in total denial
Of our Primate physiology
We shower, shave, and perfume
Every place seen as being
Unbecoming for the "human" race.
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa144/Primate_bucket/PrimateArchives2.jpg
Anonymous
THE HUMAN BODY IS SELF CLEANING
From the top to the bottom
The human body is always cleaning itself
The most obvious are bowel movements and urination
Then saliva, sweat, debris of old skin cells
Ear wax, tears, menstruation and sweat
Daily we have to have them
To live and be healthy
The problem with humans is not
That they excrete so much stuff
For all of the above is recyclable
While what they use is not
From plastic bags and bottles
To pills and containers
We poison the toilet and the earth
There is so much garbage manufactured
By all human activity that garbage is
Sent from one country to another
For money and the ones who accept it
Are not thinking of their citizens
Who can be poisoned by it
So we are good at technology
The smartest primate on earth
No common sense to tell us
Do not posison what you drink or eat
Or even breath in
One day this will come to a stop
When we have managed
To poison us all
Until then
Do not think your body is so gross
It is our activities
And making money
That make us the lowest
Creatures who walked the earth
You may think I am exaggerating
But think of the garbage now
There are people in Mexico
Who live in garbage houses
In garbage heaps
Just look at them
And think of your children's children!
SUCCUBUS IN GRACE
Such a dirty little nympho, a freaky naughty ho.
Sex is her life, of bondage with a knife.
Tight black leather, fucking among the heather.
When the lights come up, it’s time to bump.
A lash on my back, clenching of the sack.
Slap on the face, I take in her grace.
Pale white skin, heart black as sin.
On her knees, it’s time to begin.
The pumping and churning of cream,
Visions of a young man’s wet dream.
Holding on, holding back the flood.
She takes her knife and I cum blood.
Blood is pumping out, my dick’s cut in twain.
My juices mixing into the rain.
Pearly red crimson dripping down her face.
Nothing like the sight of a succubus in grace.
Such a dirty little nympho, a freaky naughty ho.
Sex is her life, of bondage with a knife.
Tight black leather, fucking among the heather.
When the lights come up, it’s time to bump.
A lash on my back, clenching of the sack.
Slap on the face, I take in her grace.
Pale white skin, heart black as sin.
On her knees, it’s time to begin.
The pumping and churning of cream,
Visions of a young man’s wet dream.
Holding on, holding back the flood.
She takes her knife and I cum blood.
Blood is pumping out, my dick’s cut in twain.
My juices mixing into the rain.
Pearly red crimson dripping down her face.
Nothing like the sight of a succubus in grace.
Superturd
There was no splash
no cold relief to drench the thigh
only the dullest thud
when she hit the floor steaming
A shitty misfit too big for the bowl
my shiny black monster perfectly formed
love coiled denser than the tree of life
There was nothing to wipe
only that moment of elation
when savoring a job well done
The lump in the throat tingle of sweat
and heady emocean accompanying birth
the strain of a smile
to pump the pride and the pain
as my asshole waved a raggedy goodbye
With a modern anthology
there's no smell like your own
although at times you're the only one
who can stand to sniff at it for too long
You need to leave each poem
abandoned for at least a year
then return and bury your nose
in the stink of reality
to understand just what it is
you've done
Although religion
may claim it was first
Savarin said: 'You are what you eat'
but when we digest everything we read
God only knows what we'll write
What passes for a poem today
mostly needs a knife to dispatch it
to cut the shit
and put it where it belongs
before the critics of a hundred years time
appear in a rage of flies
and flush away our epidemic
of words
Every morning I wonder:
Do I have the balls...?
Am I brave enough
to clean up my own shit
& press delete now?
There was no splash
no cold relief to drench the thigh
only the dullest thud
when she hit the floor steaming
A shitty misfit too big for the bowl
my shiny black monster perfectly formed
love coiled denser than the tree of life
There was nothing to wipe
only that moment of elation
when savoring a job well done
The lump in the throat tingle of sweat
and heady emocean accompanying birth
the strain of a smile
to pump the pride and the pain
as my asshole waved a raggedy goodbye
With a modern anthology
there's no smell like your own
although at times you're the only one
who can stand to sniff at it for too long
You need to leave each poem
abandoned for at least a year
then return and bury your nose
in the stink of reality
to understand just what it is
you've done
Although religion
may claim it was first
Savarin said: 'You are what you eat'
but when we digest everything we read
God only knows what we'll write
What passes for a poem today
mostly needs a knife to dispatch it
to cut the shit
and put it where it belongs
before the critics of a hundred years time
appear in a rage of flies
and flush away our epidemic
of words
Every morning I wonder:
Do I have the balls...?
Am I brave enough
to clean up my own shit
& press delete now?
