Poetry competition CLOSED 10th March 2013 9:56pm
WINNER
souladareatease
souladareatease
Thoughts V's Feelings (Advanced Challenge but All welcome)
Anonymous
Poetry Contest Description
demonstrate poetically the difference between thoughts and feelings..details below
During my years as a Psychology student, one of the revelations that stood out to me the most was the unawareness and confusion that exists in the minds of most people when it comes to distinguishing between thoughts and feelings..As poets, this is a topic that should be interesting to explore.
For example-
in Psychological Types Jung (1971/1921) describes four basic psychic functions that are capable of becoming conscious: intuition, sensation, feeling, and thinking:
Under sensation I include all perceptions by means of the sense organs; by thinking, I mean the function of intellectual cognition and the forming of logical conclusions; feeling is a function of subjective evaluation; intuition I take as perception by way of the unconscious, or perception of unconscious events. (p. 518)
Jung goes on to explain that, in his experience, there are only four basic functions, a fact that seems to be self-evident if one inquires into the possibilities. These psychic functions are the methods employed by humans to acquire knowledge of themselves and the surrounding world; cognition is not restricted to one function, and each function provides its own kind of knowledge.
Taking this information- write a poem that demonstrates your understanding of the difference between thoughts and feelings..and if you so choose-incorporate the cause-effect of the two.
2 weeks, 1 submission, no collabs, new writes only, Use proper grammar and be as creative and deep as possible.
This is no easy comp, it's going to take some thought and true skill in writing but I believe we have enough talent in here to pull this off eloquently.
A list of words that describe feelings to assist a little..
http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html
inbox me if you have questions-
have fun-!!
For example-
in Psychological Types Jung (1971/1921) describes four basic psychic functions that are capable of becoming conscious: intuition, sensation, feeling, and thinking:
Under sensation I include all perceptions by means of the sense organs; by thinking, I mean the function of intellectual cognition and the forming of logical conclusions; feeling is a function of subjective evaluation; intuition I take as perception by way of the unconscious, or perception of unconscious events. (p. 518)
Jung goes on to explain that, in his experience, there are only four basic functions, a fact that seems to be self-evident if one inquires into the possibilities. These psychic functions are the methods employed by humans to acquire knowledge of themselves and the surrounding world; cognition is not restricted to one function, and each function provides its own kind of knowledge.
Taking this information- write a poem that demonstrates your understanding of the difference between thoughts and feelings..and if you so choose-incorporate the cause-effect of the two.
2 weeks, 1 submission, no collabs, new writes only, Use proper grammar and be as creative and deep as possible.
This is no easy comp, it's going to take some thought and true skill in writing but I believe we have enough talent in here to pull this off eloquently.
A list of words that describe feelings to assist a little..
http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html
inbox me if you have questions-
have fun-!!
I Think That I Feel , Don't I ?
If I think
it's only a prediction
of how it seems
without true validation
when I feel
true emotion
this is for real
far from any notions
sensory lessons
do get learned
taken from messing
with things that do burn
a memory imprint
stays much longer
if we don't win
the feelings are stronger .
Passion doesn't think
it takes you over
but your brain says blink
for ocular cover .
Thoughts cannot feel
they only surmise
but feelings they deal
all reasons to lie
to kill or to murder
are different in many ways
one is emotive
the other a thought
that pays .
If I think
it's only a prediction
of how it seems
without true validation
when I feel
true emotion
this is for real
far from any notions
sensory lessons
do get learned
taken from messing
with things that do burn
a memory imprint
stays much longer
if we don't win
the feelings are stronger .
Passion doesn't think
it takes you over
but your brain says blink
for ocular cover .
Thoughts cannot feel
they only surmise
but feelings they deal
all reasons to lie
to kill or to murder
are different in many ways
one is emotive
the other a thought
that pays .
Anonymous
Thank you Diddi for kicking this off-and taking on such a challenging write. Due to the advanced nature of this comp. I will do as I don't ever do and give feedback to the entries and offer a chance to edit-at your own discretion of course,
I think that this poem is very well written indeed but would like to see a little more demonstration of examples of thoughts and feelings- not so much just a demonstration of the ability to define them in these terms.
A valid and worthy entry though, but that is my advice to do with as you will...still commendable at any rate.
I think that this poem is very well written indeed but would like to see a little more demonstration of examples of thoughts and feelings- not so much just a demonstration of the ability to define them in these terms.
A valid and worthy entry though, but that is my advice to do with as you will...still commendable at any rate.
Anonymous
I am so pleased to hear that from you Devilish..I know that you have the absolute ability to tune into what is needed to pull this one off. I think it will be stimulating for you and you will get a lot out of working on this write, and I know we will all benefit from reading your entry..take care, good seeing ya!
What A cool comp Miki!!!
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
through many woods
thinking thoughts, plans the head
what is reasoning, rational direction
scheming completions
weigh of outcome, where
vision, dreams, implementation greets
guts tell me when to jump
ignore, pay the piper
flames that burn, incessantly yearn
carry torches, light up skies
these can be thoughts, darken turn
blood boils, thickens, turmoil
stench of death, sickness it left
howls, screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen, scars that see
brand life and place thou be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
gathering of friends, grins
wells of knowing them
to perish the thought, giving them up
spiteful, fates clemency
rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guides, watchtowers, lighthouses
our life
this the touch from above
feeling,rip of the skin
outside, within
dragging daggers, loving of friends
wanting to care, feeling the share
knowing you should, all well and good
feel the pull, think the action
impetus
implements both
effect,affect
sinking boat or ship of gold
interaction of thought, cares, what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction, purpose, life in person
grateful for cards however he's dealt
aren't we lucky, think on these things
tomorrows dreams, hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes, worlds little stage
given out, day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings, keep me
dreaming
(any better? lol)
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
through many woods
thinking thoughts, plans the head
what is reasoning, rational direction
scheming completions
weigh of outcome, where
vision, dreams, implementation greets
guts tell me when to jump
ignore, pay the piper
flames that burn, incessantly yearn
carry torches, light up skies
these can be thoughts, darken turn
blood boils, thickens, turmoil
stench of death, sickness it left
howls, screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen, scars that see
brand life and place thou be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
gathering of friends, grins
wells of knowing them
to perish the thought, giving them up
spiteful, fates clemency
rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guides, watchtowers, lighthouses
our life
this the touch from above
feeling,rip of the skin
outside, within
dragging daggers, loving of friends
wanting to care, feeling the share
knowing you should, all well and good
feel the pull, think the action
impetus
implements both
effect,affect
sinking boat or ship of gold
interaction of thought, cares, what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction, purpose, life in person
grateful for cards however he's dealt
aren't we lucky, think on these things
tomorrows dreams, hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes, worlds little stage
given out, day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings, keep me
dreaming
(any better? lol)
A Sense of Irony
Hamlet and Laertes vied to outdo each other
In grief over dead Ophelia.
They leapt into her grave and grappled,
Each proclaiming the vastness of his desolation.
But was this true emotion?
Or was it rather the self-dramatization
Which can afflict us all
When we feel in the presence
Of momentous happenings?
In other lands, we see the crowds
Around a leader's funeral.
They wail, they tear their hair,
They are beside themselves with grief,
They throng the streets and will not be consoled.
Does emotion lie so close to the surface?
Or does this public outpouring of grief
Satisfy a self-indulgent need within
To feel that they are being overwhelmed
By something awesome, greater than themselves?
I never saw myself as a leaper on to coffins,
But perhaps that is my lack.
Perhaps to see oneself
Is one's undoing.
It may be that a true response to life
Is acting on the moment without thought,
Following instinct and blood
Without reflection pulling at the sleeve
With a restraining hand.
Perhaps I, then, am the self-dramatist,
The one who feels he plays a part,
And perhaps that nagging sense of irony
Is just the way I keep a distance
Between myself
And Life.
Hamlet and Laertes vied to outdo each other
In grief over dead Ophelia.
They leapt into her grave and grappled,
Each proclaiming the vastness of his desolation.
But was this true emotion?
Or was it rather the self-dramatization
Which can afflict us all
When we feel in the presence
Of momentous happenings?
In other lands, we see the crowds
Around a leader's funeral.
They wail, they tear their hair,
They are beside themselves with grief,
They throng the streets and will not be consoled.
Does emotion lie so close to the surface?
Or does this public outpouring of grief
Satisfy a self-indulgent need within
To feel that they are being overwhelmed
By something awesome, greater than themselves?
I never saw myself as a leaper on to coffins,
But perhaps that is my lack.
Perhaps to see oneself
Is one's undoing.
It may be that a true response to life
Is acting on the moment without thought,
Following instinct and blood
Without reflection pulling at the sleeve
With a restraining hand.
Perhaps I, then, am the self-dramatist,
The one who feels he plays a part,
And perhaps that nagging sense of irony
Is just the way I keep a distance
Between myself
And Life.
Anonymous
souladareatease said:What A cool comp Miki!!!
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
and through many woods
guts tell me when to jump
ignore them and pay the piper
flames that burn and incessantly yearn
carry torches and light up the sky
these can be thoughts dark and turn
blood that boils, thickens in turmoil
stench of death and sickness it left
howls and screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen and scars that see
brand the life and place to be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
to perish the thought of giving them up
is spiteful to fates clemency
The rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guide, watchtower, lighthouse of life
this the touch from above
interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt
aren't we so lucky to think on these things
tomorrows dreams hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes of worlds little stage
given out day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings keep me
dreaming
I am glad you like the comp idea and grateful for your entry. I like the way you have chosen to incorporate soulful feelings and dreamlike thoughts. I am finding it challenging to give feedback on what I would like to see incorporated more into the piece while trying not to infringe on poetic license, personal style, and creativity. I have decided though, that since this is an advanced challenge level comp-I will do a bit of that. your poem is thought provoking and definitely has merit -my favourite part is
"interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt "
I would like to see a little more depth in showing the difference between thoughts and feelings throughout or added in a little more..also, maybe breaking the piece into a few stanzas will give the flow greater readability. I do love it, I'm just being very particular on this comp ( I want to really pose a true challenge to the talented writers here)
A nicely penned piece, either way-edit or not..and I thank you again for entering!
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
and through many woods
guts tell me when to jump
ignore them and pay the piper
flames that burn and incessantly yearn
carry torches and light up the sky
these can be thoughts dark and turn
blood that boils, thickens in turmoil
stench of death and sickness it left
howls and screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen and scars that see
brand the life and place to be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
to perish the thought of giving them up
is spiteful to fates clemency
The rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guide, watchtower, lighthouse of life
this the touch from above
interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt
aren't we so lucky to think on these things
tomorrows dreams hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes of worlds little stage
given out day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings keep me
dreaming
I am glad you like the comp idea and grateful for your entry. I like the way you have chosen to incorporate soulful feelings and dreamlike thoughts. I am finding it challenging to give feedback on what I would like to see incorporated more into the piece while trying not to infringe on poetic license, personal style, and creativity. I have decided though, that since this is an advanced challenge level comp-I will do a bit of that. your poem is thought provoking and definitely has merit -my favourite part is
"interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt "
I would like to see a little more depth in showing the difference between thoughts and feelings throughout or added in a little more..also, maybe breaking the piece into a few stanzas will give the flow greater readability. I do love it, I'm just being very particular on this comp ( I want to really pose a true challenge to the talented writers here)
A nicely penned piece, either way-edit or not..and I thank you again for entering!
Anonymous
Astyanax said:A Sense of Irony
Hamlet and Laertes vied to outdo each other
In grief over dead Ophelia.
They leapt into her grave and grappled,
Each proclaiming the vastness of his desolation.
But was this true emotion?
Or was it rather the self-dramatization
Which can afflict us all
When we feel in the presence
Of momentous happenings?
In other lands, we see the crowds
Around a leader's funeral.
They wail, they tear their hair,
They are beside themselves with grief,
They throng the streets and will not be consoled.
Does emotion lie so close to the surface?
Or does this public outpouring of grief
Satisfy a self-indulgent need within
To feel that they are being overwhelmed
By something awesome, greater than themselves?
I never saw myself as a leaper on to coffins,
But perhaps that is my lack.
Perhaps to see oneself
Is one's undoing.
It may be that a true response to life
Is acting on the moment without thought,
Following instinct and blood
Without reflection pulling at the sleeve
With a restraining hand.
Perhaps I, then, am the self-dramatist,
The one who feels he plays a part,
And perhaps that nagging sense of irony
Is just the way I keep a distance
Between myself
And Life.
I love the way that you have incorporated an example from literature and given a Sociological and cultural viewpoint on this topic as well. The perspective is genuine and I really like the way you have chosen to do the self analysis at the end- intro and retrospectively. A very well written piece. Again, without taking away from poetic license and the freedom of creativity-I would like to see an little more depth in the actual difference between thought and feeling..or delve more into the Sociological aspect of the thoughts affecting feelings-and in turn behavior...You have hit so close to perfect here on what I am looking for-would love to see you add a little more! Thank's for your entry!
Hamlet and Laertes vied to outdo each other
In grief over dead Ophelia.
They leapt into her grave and grappled,
Each proclaiming the vastness of his desolation.
But was this true emotion?
Or was it rather the self-dramatization
Which can afflict us all
When we feel in the presence
Of momentous happenings?
In other lands, we see the crowds
Around a leader's funeral.
They wail, they tear their hair,
They are beside themselves with grief,
They throng the streets and will not be consoled.
Does emotion lie so close to the surface?
Or does this public outpouring of grief
Satisfy a self-indulgent need within
To feel that they are being overwhelmed
By something awesome, greater than themselves?
I never saw myself as a leaper on to coffins,
But perhaps that is my lack.
Perhaps to see oneself
Is one's undoing.
It may be that a true response to life
Is acting on the moment without thought,
Following instinct and blood
Without reflection pulling at the sleeve
With a restraining hand.
Perhaps I, then, am the self-dramatist,
The one who feels he plays a part,
And perhaps that nagging sense of irony
Is just the way I keep a distance
Between myself
And Life.
I love the way that you have incorporated an example from literature and given a Sociological and cultural viewpoint on this topic as well. The perspective is genuine and I really like the way you have chosen to do the self analysis at the end- intro and retrospectively. A very well written piece. Again, without taking away from poetic license and the freedom of creativity-I would like to see an little more depth in the actual difference between thought and feeling..or delve more into the Sociological aspect of the thoughts affecting feelings-and in turn behavior...You have hit so close to perfect here on what I am looking for-would love to see you add a little more! Thank's for your entry!
mikimoondancer said:[quote-175810-souladareatease]What A cool comp Miki!!!
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
and through many woods
guts tell me when to jump
ignore them and pay the piper
flames that burn and incessantly yearn
carry torches and light up the sky
these can be thoughts dark and turn
blood that boils, thickens in turmoil
stench of death and sickness it left
howls and screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen and scars that see
brand the life and place to be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
to perish the thought of giving them up
is spiteful to fates clemency
The rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guide, watchtower, lighthouse of life
this the touch from above
interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt
aren't we so lucky to think on these things
tomorrows dreams hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes of worlds little stage
given out day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings keep me
dreaming
I am glad you like the comp idea and grateful for your entry. I like the way you have chosen to incorporate soulful feelings and dreamlike thoughts. I am finding it challenging to give feedback on what I would like to see incorporated more into the piece while trying not to infringe on poetic license, personal style, and creativity. I have decided though, that since this is an advanced challenge level comp-I will do a bit of that. your poem is thought provoking and definitely has merit -my favourite part is
"interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt "
I would like to see a little more depth in showing the difference between thoughts and feelings throughout or added in a little more..also, maybe breaking the piece into a few stanzas will give the flow greater readability. I do love it, I'm just being very particular on this comp ( I want to really pose a true challenge to the talented writers here)
A nicely penned piece, either way-edit or not..and I thank you again for entering![/quote]
Thank You Miki...I WILL heed the advice...and understand the reasoning...I write in a blur as may show quite easily...this construes clarity at times...I greatly appreciate the input
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
and through many woods
guts tell me when to jump
ignore them and pay the piper
flames that burn and incessantly yearn
carry torches and light up the sky
these can be thoughts dark and turn
blood that boils, thickens in turmoil
stench of death and sickness it left
howls and screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen and scars that see
brand the life and place to be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
to perish the thought of giving them up
is spiteful to fates clemency
The rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guide, watchtower, lighthouse of life
this the touch from above
interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt
aren't we so lucky to think on these things
tomorrows dreams hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes of worlds little stage
given out day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings keep me
dreaming
I am glad you like the comp idea and grateful for your entry. I like the way you have chosen to incorporate soulful feelings and dreamlike thoughts. I am finding it challenging to give feedback on what I would like to see incorporated more into the piece while trying not to infringe on poetic license, personal style, and creativity. I have decided though, that since this is an advanced challenge level comp-I will do a bit of that. your poem is thought provoking and definitely has merit -my favourite part is
"interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt "
I would like to see a little more depth in showing the difference between thoughts and feelings throughout or added in a little more..also, maybe breaking the piece into a few stanzas will give the flow greater readability. I do love it, I'm just being very particular on this comp ( I want to really pose a true challenge to the talented writers here)
A nicely penned piece, either way-edit or not..and I thank you again for entering![/quote]
Thank You Miki...I WILL heed the advice...and understand the reasoning...I write in a blur as may show quite easily...this construes clarity at times...I greatly appreciate the input
Anonymous
souladareatease said:[quote-176054-mikimoondancer][quote-175810-souladareatease]What A cool comp Miki!!!
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
and through many woods
guts tell me when to jump
ignore them and pay the piper
flames that burn and incessantly yearn
carry torches and light up the sky
these can be thoughts dark and turn
blood that boils, thickens in turmoil
stench of death and sickness it left
howls and screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen and scars that see
brand the life and place to be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
to perish the thought of giving them up
is spiteful to fates clemency
The rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guide, watchtower, lighthouse of life
this the touch from above
interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt
aren't we so lucky to think on these things
tomorrows dreams hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes of worlds little stage
given out day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings keep me
dreaming
I am glad you like the comp idea and grateful for your entry. I like the way you have chosen to incorporate soulful feelings and dreamlike thoughts. I am finding it challenging to give feedback on what I would like to see incorporated more into the piece while trying not to infringe on poetic license, personal style, and creativity. I have decided though, that since this is an advanced challenge level comp-I will do a bit of that. your poem is thought provoking and definitely has merit -my favourite part is
"interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt "
I would like to see a little more depth in showing the difference between thoughts and feelings throughout or added in a little more..also, maybe breaking the piece into a few stanzas will give the flow greater readability. I do love it, I'm just being very particular on this comp ( I want to really pose a true challenge to the talented writers here)
A nicely penned piece, either way-edit or not..and I thank you again for entering![/quote]
Thank You Miki...I WILL heed the advice...and understand the reasoning...I write in a blur as may show quite easily...this construes clarity at times...I greatly appreciate the input[/quote]
So pleased by your response! I do want my desire to be constructive in my feedback and clear in my rationale to come through and your response tells me it was well received! Thank you.
FEELINGS OF A THOUGHTFUL NATURE
thoughts have been given
written, dreamed envisioned
since days of Youth
these the passing, glances
back and forward over the shoulder
and through many woods
guts tell me when to jump
ignore them and pay the piper
flames that burn and incessantly yearn
carry torches and light up the sky
these can be thoughts dark and turn
blood that boils, thickens in turmoil
stench of death and sickness it left
howls and screams ,hands laid upon thee
scars unseen and scars that see
brand the life and place to be
ever is felt light in ones life
as gifts the heavens do bring
to perish the thought of giving them up
is spiteful to fates clemency
The rush of spirit, the crush of Love
guide, watchtower, lighthouse of life
this the touch from above
interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt
aren't we so lucky to think on these things
tomorrows dreams hauntings of yesterdays
all the scenes of worlds little stage
given out day after day
all I can say is, I know what I thought
I think on my dreams
I know how I've felt,
and feelings keep me
dreaming
I am glad you like the comp idea and grateful for your entry. I like the way you have chosen to incorporate soulful feelings and dreamlike thoughts. I am finding it challenging to give feedback on what I would like to see incorporated more into the piece while trying not to infringe on poetic license, personal style, and creativity. I have decided though, that since this is an advanced challenge level comp-I will do a bit of that. your poem is thought provoking and definitely has merit -my favourite part is
"interaction of thought, cares and what knots
share the picture of souls thoughts
what it IS to be, live and to breathe
finding what truly is felt
direction and purpose, life in a person
grateful for cards he's been dealt "
I would like to see a little more depth in showing the difference between thoughts and feelings throughout or added in a little more..also, maybe breaking the piece into a few stanzas will give the flow greater readability. I do love it, I'm just being very particular on this comp ( I want to really pose a true challenge to the talented writers here)
A nicely penned piece, either way-edit or not..and I thank you again for entering![/quote]
Thank You Miki...I WILL heed the advice...and understand the reasoning...I write in a blur as may show quite easily...this construes clarity at times...I greatly appreciate the input[/quote]
So pleased by your response! I do want my desire to be constructive in my feedback and clear in my rationale to come through and your response tells me it was well received! Thank you.
