Poetry competition CLOSED 23rd September 2012 3:11am
WINNER
Nameless_Traveler (Andrew Kerklaan)
Nameless_Traveler (Andrew Kerklaan)
RUNNERS-UP:
Magdalena
and LeColonel
I hate everyone
Poetry Contest Description
Blow some steam. Get it all off your chest.
I'm a great listener. And I know everyone has that ONE person they can't stand. And here's your chance to say all the things you wanted to say.
I care if it's long or short.
I just want you to get your anger out.
Just show me RAGE!!!
I care if it's long or short.
I just want you to get your anger out.
Just show me RAGE!!!
Siphon All Hope
I can see you
I can touch you
But I cant feel you anymore
cause your just a picture on my wall
A frozen memory
From a time when we were together
Before you left me
It took awhile to untie the rope
From around your neck
But it was worth it
Just to hold you
In my arms one last time
Before you joined the maggots in the ground
So where do I go from here
Do I give up and drown
In the hate that you poured into my soul
Or do I cling to hope and
Go on living hapily
But you siphoned all hope and happyness from my soul
So all I have left is a soul full of hate
All hope is gone and
So are you
You left me
Opted out and
For that I hate you
You fucking whore
Didnt you know that
I loved you
Why would you do this to me
Tell me what the fuck have I done
To deserve this
Why did you do this
Couldnt you see that you were everything to me
I never was good at tieing knots
So with a smile on my face
A knife will have to sufice
Cause im sick of living dead and
Looking at
Your picture on the wall
So when I get to hell
You better be ready
Cause im going to
Fucking stab you and
Kill you again
For what you did to me
I can see you
I can touch you
But I cant feel you anymore
cause your just a picture on my wall
A frozen memory
From a time when we were together
Before you left me
It took awhile to untie the rope
From around your neck
But it was worth it
Just to hold you
In my arms one last time
Before you joined the maggots in the ground
So where do I go from here
Do I give up and drown
In the hate that you poured into my soul
Or do I cling to hope and
Go on living hapily
But you siphoned all hope and happyness from my soul
So all I have left is a soul full of hate
All hope is gone and
So are you
You left me
Opted out and
For that I hate you
You fucking whore
Didnt you know that
I loved you
Why would you do this to me
Tell me what the fuck have I done
To deserve this
Why did you do this
Couldnt you see that you were everything to me
I never was good at tieing knots
So with a smile on my face
A knife will have to sufice
Cause im sick of living dead and
Looking at
Your picture on the wall
So when I get to hell
You better be ready
Cause im going to
Fucking stab you and
Kill you again
For what you did to me
- Broken Heart and Burning Soul -
A meditation on my deepest despair…
Part One: Hatred
My heart is heavy, for too many cares have worn me…
Beyond flesh, beyond bone, until my spirit is tormented.
Fears and terrors claw at my will until they are all I see,
And for too long now, I have of my loneliness lamented.
Why does no one see me, truly see me for my beauty?
I have been used, abused, tortured and then cast away.
Too much pain I have known, and seek only to be free!
All I see around me is darkness, even in the light of day.
I am a daughter of the Goddess, I am her own, her kin!
But no one sees me, truly sees me for my loving heart…
They call me a freak and a mutant, an alien and a thing.
I hate them for it, those who hurt me, with all Hell’s art!
People hate me because I am different, with no reason,
For their ire, except that convention tells them to do so…
My beauty, to them, is like some kind of black treason.
But beautiful is what I am, even in the midst of my woe!
They cannot take that from me, and so I shall defy all…
Until my blood has poured away until in death I do fall!
Part Two: Love
Can you hear me crying; hear the fire in each shed tear?
Because I am different, no one wants to just understand.
And my heart is breaking for no one wants to draw near,
To the place of my waiting where I offer my lonely hand.
My only sin is being myself, and I shall never repent this!
I am a lady, and when I pass beyond I will go content…
For no longer will people hurt me; I will know only bliss.
I will go the Goddess, as her daughter lovingly radiant…
But why, oh why, has no one in this world truly seen me?
Would that I could tear away the flesh that encumbers…
And expose my glorious spirit; then everyone would see,
The love, within my heart, that no one ever remembers!
People who love me do so because I am an individual…
Unique as a star in the sky sparkling with its’ own hues!
And my beauty does not offend them; it is not unusual…
But like a painting it is a work of art that joyfully ensues.
That is what those who have loved me told me in time…
And why I wish this world, was one caring and sublime.
Part Three: Fear
If just one had loved me, seen me, and just cared more,
Then my tears would not fall and I would not know hate.
God tells us to love our enemies, even to their vile core,
But I am not God and so their fair forgiveness must wait.
Those who showed me no mercy deserve none in turn…
As they who harmed me should know my deep agonies.
Let them taste the fear they caused, within them to burn!
They judge themselves, and must go to their purgatories.
Justice fails me; humanity abandons me, until all is dark…
So let the world end, so no more can humans war cruel!
No more, can they be prejudiced or bigoted on a lark…
Let the world end, so that my hot agony can at last cool.
Did I ask for so much by asking merely to be cared for?
Everything else that I wanted, I was blessed with in life!
Where is love today: when it is needed so much more…
Than the inhumanity of humanity, hell bent on such strife?
My heart is too innocent to think of the evils I have seen,
Which were so very abhorrent, sadistic and oft obscene.
Part Four: Tragedy
I long for love, I crave understanding and I need to sing,
No more the bitter lamentations that haunt me so awful…
But an aria of happiness, which only passion may bring!
The corrupt seem to rule, and their deeds are not lawful.
I cannot afford to wait for change to come by promises,
When I am the victim of atrocities that are never ending.
Was I ever right for this world, that causes me distress?
I am so beautiful, yet my heart is in sorrow, so rending…
As my hopes keep me living and dreams keep me trying.
I just wanted one person to see me, to love me wholly…
For then, I would not ever feel as if I were slowly dying.
Love and peace, are so elusive, in the wake of tragedy!
Death must not take me, until I have tasted love in full…
For I have never been loved, and have so much to give!
I must stay strong so that unconquerable can be my will.
For I am a lady, and one who is determined to truly live!
I am a daughter of the Goddess, and I must be proud…
Standing tall, even before the most thundering of clouds!
A meditation on my deepest despair…
Part One: Hatred
My heart is heavy, for too many cares have worn me…
Beyond flesh, beyond bone, until my spirit is tormented.
Fears and terrors claw at my will until they are all I see,
And for too long now, I have of my loneliness lamented.
Why does no one see me, truly see me for my beauty?
I have been used, abused, tortured and then cast away.
Too much pain I have known, and seek only to be free!
All I see around me is darkness, even in the light of day.
I am a daughter of the Goddess, I am her own, her kin!
But no one sees me, truly sees me for my loving heart…
They call me a freak and a mutant, an alien and a thing.
I hate them for it, those who hurt me, with all Hell’s art!
People hate me because I am different, with no reason,
For their ire, except that convention tells them to do so…
My beauty, to them, is like some kind of black treason.
But beautiful is what I am, even in the midst of my woe!
They cannot take that from me, and so I shall defy all…
Until my blood has poured away until in death I do fall!
Part Two: Love
Can you hear me crying; hear the fire in each shed tear?
Because I am different, no one wants to just understand.
And my heart is breaking for no one wants to draw near,
To the place of my waiting where I offer my lonely hand.
My only sin is being myself, and I shall never repent this!
I am a lady, and when I pass beyond I will go content…
For no longer will people hurt me; I will know only bliss.
I will go the Goddess, as her daughter lovingly radiant…
But why, oh why, has no one in this world truly seen me?
Would that I could tear away the flesh that encumbers…
And expose my glorious spirit; then everyone would see,
The love, within my heart, that no one ever remembers!
People who love me do so because I am an individual…
Unique as a star in the sky sparkling with its’ own hues!
And my beauty does not offend them; it is not unusual…
But like a painting it is a work of art that joyfully ensues.
That is what those who have loved me told me in time…
And why I wish this world, was one caring and sublime.
Part Three: Fear
If just one had loved me, seen me, and just cared more,
Then my tears would not fall and I would not know hate.
God tells us to love our enemies, even to their vile core,
But I am not God and so their fair forgiveness must wait.
Those who showed me no mercy deserve none in turn…
As they who harmed me should know my deep agonies.
Let them taste the fear they caused, within them to burn!
They judge themselves, and must go to their purgatories.
Justice fails me; humanity abandons me, until all is dark…
So let the world end, so no more can humans war cruel!
No more, can they be prejudiced or bigoted on a lark…
Let the world end, so that my hot agony can at last cool.
Did I ask for so much by asking merely to be cared for?
Everything else that I wanted, I was blessed with in life!
Where is love today: when it is needed so much more…
Than the inhumanity of humanity, hell bent on such strife?
My heart is too innocent to think of the evils I have seen,
Which were so very abhorrent, sadistic and oft obscene.
Part Four: Tragedy
I long for love, I crave understanding and I need to sing,
No more the bitter lamentations that haunt me so awful…
But an aria of happiness, which only passion may bring!
The corrupt seem to rule, and their deeds are not lawful.
I cannot afford to wait for change to come by promises,
When I am the victim of atrocities that are never ending.
Was I ever right for this world, that causes me distress?
I am so beautiful, yet my heart is in sorrow, so rending…
As my hopes keep me living and dreams keep me trying.
I just wanted one person to see me, to love me wholly…
For then, I would not ever feel as if I were slowly dying.
Love and peace, are so elusive, in the wake of tragedy!
Death must not take me, until I have tasted love in full…
For I have never been loved, and have so much to give!
I must stay strong so that unconquerable can be my will.
For I am a lady, and one who is determined to truly live!
I am a daughter of the Goddess, and I must be proud…
Standing tall, even before the most thundering of clouds!
- The Voice of Darkness -
Part I – Fire and Crucifixion
You could not see the beauty within me, foolish maid,
So jealous were you of the outer beauty you beheld…
Mindless of my ancient soul, of which you were afraid!
Now you shall know why before me the ancients knelt.
It was I, who cast thousands of souls into a wall of fire,
When the volcanoes of Atlantis and other lands flared…
And it was I, who collected their souls in wrath so dire.
In vessels of steel we bore them, to where gods dared!
Were they not of us, and so we saw fit to punish them,
Instilling notions of a hell more awful than we wrought?
It was not I, but: their own sin that did thusly condemn.
You do not realize the mad power of a strong thought!
And in their minds, they crucified themselves so artful…
That the Romans remembered and perfected this way!
Man is the author of countless miseries, as truly awful…
As the doom we imposed, on those souls, on that day.
They could not pull out the nails from their wounding…
For it was their own will that thrust them into the flesh!
The green of their putrefaction, of ravens descending…
Was all in their imagination, and they suffered it afresh.
Part II – Darkness Incarnate
They became twisted wraiths, no longer as they were,
Seeking to possess the bodies of the living once again.
For they could not die, though they lived ne’er more…
And so like demons of a true hell they swiftly became!
Those sons of Theta, who could ne’er forget their fate,
Passing it on to their hosts who suffered so possessed.
Have you heard the legends when the hour grew late?
You hear them now, and soon you shall be distressed!
The flesh hides many secrets, but within mine do gaze,
Seeing with your inner eye the shape of my spirit bare.
In such an image was I remade as a captive in a daze!
But I remembered, and now you will endure my stare.
A dark lord, and lady, an emperor, and also empress,
Was I, ere my estate was to dwell in a human guise…
Fitting punishment for me, upon my soul did so press!
The gods were cruel but in their cunning so very wise.
But of their foolishness, worlds were charred to soot,
And made desolate, with blackened bones that lay…
Here a skull, there a limb, and even a hand, and foot!
As to them, the ancestors of man did kneel and pray.
Part III – Lover of Demons
Behold my darkness, I who loved Lilith by the water,
And made for her a throne of skulls to recline upon…
When the angels could not persuade, Hell’s daughter.
Even so, I moved her to joy beneath the ancient sun!
The blood of the wicked she drank, from my chalice,
And with it anointed the first vampires on this planet!
She and I shared, for early man, our common malice.
And with Lucifer we stood, and could ne’er regret…
For the fallen cannot know remorse for their natures,
Any more than humanity for their wars and pollution!
We, did not harm this Earth as do they; so immature,
That with destruction: they lie as if in dire prostitution.
And you call me evil, when I helped to bring the light,
To your savage ancestors before you were imagined.
Do you know my name, and so know well the night?
You cannot know me, for your reason is abandoned.
Mayhap you should dash your brains out your head…
Their jellied mass to lie: upon ebon altars of ineptness.
How can you call yourself living, you are of the dead!
For it is not living: to deny, what your senses confess.
Part IV – Bride of the Devil
It was I, who had my enemies impaled on tall stakes,
And was called the Son of the Dragon by the people.
Out of their vacant sockets writhed emerald snakes…
Those from whose mouths: was sharpness unequaled.
And into a chalice I squeezed out their wicked blood,
To offer up to Lilith, so that they might taste of wrath!
And for Lucifer, we offered up a truly crimson flood…
So that my sister may bathe: in the warm scarlet bath.
Do you fear the night, for in it I find my forgetfulness?
You would have me recall the things you most fear…
And so I shall be cruel in this, as I don a silken dress,
To sit upon my throne infernal, and beckon you near!
I, who knew the Devil when that queen ruled on high,
And was her lover, ere the gods brought on us a ruin.
Have a sip from my sanguine chalice, and come nigh!
For in my kingdom is room for one more child of sin.
There are worse things than fire, of immortal making,
And you will smell the burning brimstone you do seek.
Upon its’ coals your naked skin most willingly baking,
For some hells you make yourself to make you weak.
Part I – Fire and Crucifixion
You could not see the beauty within me, foolish maid,
So jealous were you of the outer beauty you beheld…
Mindless of my ancient soul, of which you were afraid!
Now you shall know why before me the ancients knelt.
It was I, who cast thousands of souls into a wall of fire,
When the volcanoes of Atlantis and other lands flared…
And it was I, who collected their souls in wrath so dire.
In vessels of steel we bore them, to where gods dared!
Were they not of us, and so we saw fit to punish them,
Instilling notions of a hell more awful than we wrought?
It was not I, but: their own sin that did thusly condemn.
You do not realize the mad power of a strong thought!
And in their minds, they crucified themselves so artful…
That the Romans remembered and perfected this way!
Man is the author of countless miseries, as truly awful…
As the doom we imposed, on those souls, on that day.
They could not pull out the nails from their wounding…
For it was their own will that thrust them into the flesh!
The green of their putrefaction, of ravens descending…
Was all in their imagination, and they suffered it afresh.
Part II – Darkness Incarnate
They became twisted wraiths, no longer as they were,
Seeking to possess the bodies of the living once again.
For they could not die, though they lived ne’er more…
And so like demons of a true hell they swiftly became!
Those sons of Theta, who could ne’er forget their fate,
Passing it on to their hosts who suffered so possessed.
Have you heard the legends when the hour grew late?
You hear them now, and soon you shall be distressed!
The flesh hides many secrets, but within mine do gaze,
Seeing with your inner eye the shape of my spirit bare.
In such an image was I remade as a captive in a daze!
But I remembered, and now you will endure my stare.
A dark lord, and lady, an emperor, and also empress,
Was I, ere my estate was to dwell in a human guise…
Fitting punishment for me, upon my soul did so press!
The gods were cruel but in their cunning so very wise.
But of their foolishness, worlds were charred to soot,
And made desolate, with blackened bones that lay…
Here a skull, there a limb, and even a hand, and foot!
As to them, the ancestors of man did kneel and pray.
Part III – Lover of Demons
Behold my darkness, I who loved Lilith by the water,
And made for her a throne of skulls to recline upon…
When the angels could not persuade, Hell’s daughter.
Even so, I moved her to joy beneath the ancient sun!
The blood of the wicked she drank, from my chalice,
And with it anointed the first vampires on this planet!
She and I shared, for early man, our common malice.
And with Lucifer we stood, and could ne’er regret…
For the fallen cannot know remorse for their natures,
Any more than humanity for their wars and pollution!
We, did not harm this Earth as do they; so immature,
That with destruction: they lie as if in dire prostitution.
And you call me evil, when I helped to bring the light,
To your savage ancestors before you were imagined.
Do you know my name, and so know well the night?
You cannot know me, for your reason is abandoned.
Mayhap you should dash your brains out your head…
Their jellied mass to lie: upon ebon altars of ineptness.
How can you call yourself living, you are of the dead!
For it is not living: to deny, what your senses confess.
Part IV – Bride of the Devil
It was I, who had my enemies impaled on tall stakes,
And was called the Son of the Dragon by the people.
Out of their vacant sockets writhed emerald snakes…
Those from whose mouths: was sharpness unequaled.
And into a chalice I squeezed out their wicked blood,
To offer up to Lilith, so that they might taste of wrath!
And for Lucifer, we offered up a truly crimson flood…
So that my sister may bathe: in the warm scarlet bath.
Do you fear the night, for in it I find my forgetfulness?
You would have me recall the things you most fear…
And so I shall be cruel in this, as I don a silken dress,
To sit upon my throne infernal, and beckon you near!
I, who knew the Devil when that queen ruled on high,
And was her lover, ere the gods brought on us a ruin.
Have a sip from my sanguine chalice, and come nigh!
For in my kingdom is room for one more child of sin.
There are worse things than fire, of immortal making,
And you will smell the burning brimstone you do seek.
Upon its’ coals your naked skin most willingly baking,
For some hells you make yourself to make you weak.
- Fire, Blood and Iron -
There is a side of me that I keep hid away,
Born in fire, blood, and iron from long ago.
It dwells in darkness, far from light of day,
And it wants to break free, chaos to sow!
For victory, for the pride that once I knew,
Which shall ne’er abate, even if time dies!
I feel it in my blood, in the ebb and flow…
As a raven soars: across old, scarlet skies.
There is fire in my blood, and I must blaze,
Lest I be consumed and fallen from desire.
I shall shake the heavens with all my rage!
And, all shall know the warmth of my fire.
Words build bridges into regions unseen…
But dare I to cross them, into those wilds?
The lies of humanity are become obscene,
Robbing the innocence from out the child.
I want to find the peace denied me of old,
To end the nightmares that will not cease…
And so I make my stand, proud and bold,
Whilst I struggle to give fairer visions lease.
In cold I walked, and in heat so desolate…
Whilst, dark things came to me, in my pain!
I try to start over, the awful past to forget…
But I lost my way into a most dark domain.
There I found such illumination that it hurt…
And I cannot speak of the things I learned.
Now I want to find a measure of comfort…
But in my breast, the old fire still is burned!
Boots crunch upon the snow, and shrieks,
As when men died in Stalingrad’s winter…
The snow fallen upon my heart that speaks,
Like blood pressed by the skillful vintner!
Turned brown by mud of trenches so cold,
That blood is not soon rendered for naught.
It reminds us of those whose hearts bold…
Gave sacrifice for a greater ideal’s thought.
Who wounded me and caused this wound,
That was graven upon my heart in cruelty?
I must be crueler, and I must cry out soon,
To reveal the sins, of those who are guilty!
My will is strong, and I have made it steel,
The armor of a knight, fallen from the path.
I have worked arts that I can ne’er reveal,
Because I could not rest due to my wrath!
Where is the love and good times for me?
Stolen by those whose lies were as vipers.
I shall show them a serpent’s own villainy,
Before me they will be as small as spiders.
My passion shall ignite in others their own,
For doom can only be averted, by hope…
And thus, I will go beyond flesh and bone.
The shape of my desire is so given scope!
I close my eyes, and see gardens I loved…
No longer tended by the hands of mankind.
And there the truth of prophets is proved…
Many of the righteous hath been left behind.
I tend the flowers that still know my hand…
And I weep, whenever their season passes.
Is it wrong that I find the divine in the land?
But not in houses of stone, mere fortresses!
Then call me a heretic, for I cannot be else.
If love and piety be heresy, when different,
Then I shall dare to be unique so very well!
I must give myself to joy, lest I may lament.
Banners fly upon a gentle autumn sunrise…
Where the eagle had soared, and then fell.
I am reborn to seize my long-sought prize,
For desire’s lust I have risen up from Hell!
Not in wickedness but for a golden dream,
Known only to myself, and to gods above.
It will not trouble them as it may well seem,
When I slake a thirst born of deepest love.
Oh the fires of the final day are in my soul!
And I shall show the damned their sorrow.
Mine is the hand to make one last bell toll,
And I will remain come the awful morrow.
One kind word could have changed much,
A hand to hold in times when I am pained!
But I am alone, and I cannot live as such…
When there is victory at last, to be gained.
My fight shall not cease till peace is raised,
As a flag on a battlefield, an anthem grand!
I know I am hated as I long to be praised.
If only love could be won, by a command!
I wander still, for I seek a perfect splendor,
To replace the old memories I cannot bear.
But in the distance I hear coming thunder…
And, it reminds me of every forgotten care.
The lightning reveals me, for what is within,
And, as much as I try to match that glory…
It masters my soul and it cannot be hidden.
A higher power has written my life’s story!
I must ride the storm, and emerge stronger.
Though the wind may batter my will fierce,
My will shall remain, and last all the longer.
It is as a lance, the storm’s heart to pierce!
But the battle is not ended, nor war’s fury,
Until Valhalla itself is consumed in flames…
Twilight shall fall, and no more shall worry,
Those who paid for the gods’ own games!
As I have, before mischief became anger…
And thoughts undreamed of, I entertained.
A thousand years may pass, in but a blur…
But what lies within cannot be constrained.
There is a side of me that I keep hid away,
Born in fire, blood, and iron from long ago.
It dwells in darkness, far from light of day,
And it wants to break free, chaos to sow!
For victory, for the pride that once I knew,
Which shall ne’er abate, even if time dies!
I feel it in my blood, in the ebb and flow…
As a raven soars: across old, scarlet skies.
There is fire in my blood, and I must blaze,
Lest I be consumed and fallen from desire.
I shall shake the heavens with all my rage!
And, all shall know the warmth of my fire.
Words build bridges into regions unseen…
But dare I to cross them, into those wilds?
The lies of humanity are become obscene,
Robbing the innocence from out the child.
I want to find the peace denied me of old,
To end the nightmares that will not cease…
And so I make my stand, proud and bold,
Whilst I struggle to give fairer visions lease.
In cold I walked, and in heat so desolate…
Whilst, dark things came to me, in my pain!
I try to start over, the awful past to forget…
But I lost my way into a most dark domain.
There I found such illumination that it hurt…
And I cannot speak of the things I learned.
Now I want to find a measure of comfort…
But in my breast, the old fire still is burned!
Boots crunch upon the snow, and shrieks,
As when men died in Stalingrad’s winter…
The snow fallen upon my heart that speaks,
Like blood pressed by the skillful vintner!
Turned brown by mud of trenches so cold,
That blood is not soon rendered for naught.
It reminds us of those whose hearts bold…
Gave sacrifice for a greater ideal’s thought.
Who wounded me and caused this wound,
That was graven upon my heart in cruelty?
I must be crueler, and I must cry out soon,
To reveal the sins, of those who are guilty!
My will is strong, and I have made it steel,
The armor of a knight, fallen from the path.
I have worked arts that I can ne’er reveal,
Because I could not rest due to my wrath!
Where is the love and good times for me?
Stolen by those whose lies were as vipers.
I shall show them a serpent’s own villainy,
Before me they will be as small as spiders.
My passion shall ignite in others their own,
For doom can only be averted, by hope…
And thus, I will go beyond flesh and bone.
The shape of my desire is so given scope!
I close my eyes, and see gardens I loved…
No longer tended by the hands of mankind.
And there the truth of prophets is proved…
Many of the righteous hath been left behind.
I tend the flowers that still know my hand…
And I weep, whenever their season passes.
Is it wrong that I find the divine in the land?
But not in houses of stone, mere fortresses!
Then call me a heretic, for I cannot be else.
If love and piety be heresy, when different,
Then I shall dare to be unique so very well!
I must give myself to joy, lest I may lament.
Banners fly upon a gentle autumn sunrise…
Where the eagle had soared, and then fell.
I am reborn to seize my long-sought prize,
For desire’s lust I have risen up from Hell!
Not in wickedness but for a golden dream,
Known only to myself, and to gods above.
It will not trouble them as it may well seem,
When I slake a thirst born of deepest love.
Oh the fires of the final day are in my soul!
And I shall show the damned their sorrow.
Mine is the hand to make one last bell toll,
And I will remain come the awful morrow.
One kind word could have changed much,
A hand to hold in times when I am pained!
But I am alone, and I cannot live as such…
When there is victory at last, to be gained.
My fight shall not cease till peace is raised,
As a flag on a battlefield, an anthem grand!
I know I am hated as I long to be praised.
If only love could be won, by a command!
I wander still, for I seek a perfect splendor,
To replace the old memories I cannot bear.
But in the distance I hear coming thunder…
And, it reminds me of every forgotten care.
The lightning reveals me, for what is within,
And, as much as I try to match that glory…
It masters my soul and it cannot be hidden.
A higher power has written my life’s story!
I must ride the storm, and emerge stronger.
Though the wind may batter my will fierce,
My will shall remain, and last all the longer.
It is as a lance, the storm’s heart to pierce!
But the battle is not ended, nor war’s fury,
Until Valhalla itself is consumed in flames…
Twilight shall fall, and no more shall worry,
Those who paid for the gods’ own games!
As I have, before mischief became anger…
And thoughts undreamed of, I entertained.
A thousand years may pass, in but a blur…
But what lies within cannot be constrained.
- Battle Cry of the Fallen Queen -
Prelude: Serpent of Light
A serpent of light entwines, becoming a sign of infinity,
Its’ radiance stretching forth like a great spider’s web!
Then, like glass, the web shatters to reveal all eternity…
And I have looked beyond it, swallowing all my dread.
The mazes of memories, the thoughts of bygone ages…
All like light are they, and do illuminate for me my path.
As the hourglass turns, the sand causes us such rages…
For we struggle against time, when time is full of wrath.
Like a butterfly, I flit away into timelessness; I awaken!
And the cycles turn like the hands of an immense clock.
Time resumes, but of greater mysteries I have partaken,
And my spirit is strong to have survived the fiery shock.
For illumination is like fire and lightning; it strikes quick,
Leaving one changed, and opening one’s perceptions…
The spirit is like the serpent I spoke of, coiling so thick!
Becoming infinite, when freed from all dire deceptions.
Such is my spirit; and anyone, can become as I have…
Opening the third eye within, and piercing all the clouds,
Until the universe reveals what heals better than a salve.
Old wounds close, old pains pass, like fleeing crowds!
And I scream, not from pain, but from spiritual release.
If existence is a battle, then to win is to achieve peace!
Part One: The Fallen Angels
The fallen angels shall gather as the veils are shredded,
And the symphony of darkness will play for all to savor.
Mankind is blind, knowing not, where time is headed…
But I fell first, and because of that, I dare never waver!
We brought civilization, we whom the gods did resent.
Araqiel, who taught the signs of the earth and the land,
Armeros, who taught the means to create enchantment,
Azaziel, who taught the arts of combat oft on command,
Lilith, who taught of passionate love in more than words,
Baraqel, who taught the readings of astrological dignity,
Ezeqeel, who taught of the clouds, the skies, the birds,
Gadreel, who taught: the way of adornment and beauty,
Kokabel, who taught the secrets of constellations wide,
Penemue, who taught the gift of writing, with noble will,
Sariel, who taught knowledge of the moon and the tide,
Semiaza, who taught of herbs and healing to cure the ill,
Amazarak, who taught of magic, sorceries, mysticism,
Akibeel, who taught signs, omens, portents, and more,
Kasdeja, who taught how demons might be imprisoned,
Tamiel, who taught: of astronomy behind a closed door,
Shamshiel, who taught knowledge of the sun and sky,
And then there was one, nameless, and that one was I.
Part Two: Bonds of Cruelty
If thou could only know, the deep sorrows of the night,
Then to match them all with the pain within my bosom…
Would be not less the task than to behold the fair light:
Of starry skies, of mournful moon, and palest blossom!
But I shall not stand idly by whilst my enemies encircle…
Rather would I call upon Hell itself: for dire vengeance.
Once my spirit sought to soar far, on a winged miracle!
But the gates of paradise closed, with barred entrance.
Let Heaven keep its’ sterile climes, and stagnant rules,
Which chain the soul, and shackle the will with burden…
For they are but the rallying cry, for fanatics and fools!
Those same who are too cruel: too quick to condemn.
They who called me damned, and tried to seal me fast,
With bonds of cruelty, all of which were broken whole.
For evil shall not have its’ day, and hatred cannot last…
And so I utter my battle cry to fulfill of my ancient goal,
That my passion be known, that my love be given free.
No angel wings were ever meant: to be bound eternal,
So my feathers of light, shall with old power carry me…
Beyond the confines of the chasms of domains infernal!
Let evil be smitten by its’ own twisted adder’s tongue,
Through which the hook shall pierce, until all is undone.
Part Three: Smiling Ascension
The beauty within my heart longs to dance with angels,
To walk in peace amidst flowery fields with great joy…
But the pain others inflict on me, a darker way compels.
And yet I try to ease the agony, with the arts I employ!
Where is the love I seek, the compassion that I desire?
Vacant in the hearts of those mortals who are wicked…
And as surely as Hell contains vast lakes of molten fire,
I shall not allow the foe to see my wounded heart bled.
Better, for my fallen brothers and sisters to rise up all…
Those whom the gods once warred with and did exile,
Than for me to be cut down when I do try to stand tall!
I must rise, I shall ascend, and so I will manage a smile.
Those who love me will be at my side when all is done,
When the lies and the deceptions of the ages are torn…
Those who do stand with me shall be said to have won.
So take my hand and let us embrace the coming morn!
Enlightenment is not corruption, and truth is never false.
I need no lies, when what is most honest holds cunning,
More terrible, than any crafted behind the hidden walls:
Of demonic palaces with blood and flame ever running.
In scarlet and white, the raiment of the ascended spirit,
My formlessness takes form: my music rises, near to it.
Part Four: Crown of Horns
What course is there, that is not plotted in the shadow?
Illuminated by the flame imperishable, green and bright.
I, the terrible queen, have basked in its’ pale meadow…
Whilst given by that fire, the most potent and vivid sight.
Before the fallen fell, before the rise of civilization large,
I was, and I am, and I shall be, for such is time’s cycling.
Behind the things you cannot know, I did of old march,
Bearing my terrible burdens and yet never of them tiring.
Yet the wickedness men do is a cross I shall not carry…
Rather shall I nail the wicked to it: with cutting sharpness.
My words are a sword and its’ keenness cannot tarry…
For righteousness hastens it, unto the heart of darkness.
Tremble, tremble, and let the universe be rocked apart!
My sons and daughters play the symphony I did teach…
Gods of heaven and earth, who across history did dart,
Never touching, yet touching all things that minds reach.
The dark and androgynous goddess, the horned lady…
Whose crown of horns, unlike thorns, is silvery and fair!
That was what I was called when my creator made me.
When palest, was my flesh, as suns blazed in my hair…
Do not look too deeply at my soul, lest you be blinded.
My coming was foretold; thou needs not, be reminded!
Prelude: Serpent of Light
A serpent of light entwines, becoming a sign of infinity,
Its’ radiance stretching forth like a great spider’s web!
Then, like glass, the web shatters to reveal all eternity…
And I have looked beyond it, swallowing all my dread.
The mazes of memories, the thoughts of bygone ages…
All like light are they, and do illuminate for me my path.
As the hourglass turns, the sand causes us such rages…
For we struggle against time, when time is full of wrath.
Like a butterfly, I flit away into timelessness; I awaken!
And the cycles turn like the hands of an immense clock.
Time resumes, but of greater mysteries I have partaken,
And my spirit is strong to have survived the fiery shock.
For illumination is like fire and lightning; it strikes quick,
Leaving one changed, and opening one’s perceptions…
The spirit is like the serpent I spoke of, coiling so thick!
Becoming infinite, when freed from all dire deceptions.
Such is my spirit; and anyone, can become as I have…
Opening the third eye within, and piercing all the clouds,
Until the universe reveals what heals better than a salve.
Old wounds close, old pains pass, like fleeing crowds!
And I scream, not from pain, but from spiritual release.
If existence is a battle, then to win is to achieve peace!
Part One: The Fallen Angels
The fallen angels shall gather as the veils are shredded,
And the symphony of darkness will play for all to savor.
Mankind is blind, knowing not, where time is headed…
But I fell first, and because of that, I dare never waver!
We brought civilization, we whom the gods did resent.
Araqiel, who taught the signs of the earth and the land,
Armeros, who taught the means to create enchantment,
Azaziel, who taught the arts of combat oft on command,
Lilith, who taught of passionate love in more than words,
Baraqel, who taught the readings of astrological dignity,
Ezeqeel, who taught of the clouds, the skies, the birds,
Gadreel, who taught: the way of adornment and beauty,
Kokabel, who taught the secrets of constellations wide,
Penemue, who taught the gift of writing, with noble will,
Sariel, who taught knowledge of the moon and the tide,
Semiaza, who taught of herbs and healing to cure the ill,
Amazarak, who taught of magic, sorceries, mysticism,
Akibeel, who taught signs, omens, portents, and more,
Kasdeja, who taught how demons might be imprisoned,
Tamiel, who taught: of astronomy behind a closed door,
Shamshiel, who taught knowledge of the sun and sky,
And then there was one, nameless, and that one was I.
Part Two: Bonds of Cruelty
If thou could only know, the deep sorrows of the night,
Then to match them all with the pain within my bosom…
Would be not less the task than to behold the fair light:
Of starry skies, of mournful moon, and palest blossom!
But I shall not stand idly by whilst my enemies encircle…
Rather would I call upon Hell itself: for dire vengeance.
Once my spirit sought to soar far, on a winged miracle!
But the gates of paradise closed, with barred entrance.
Let Heaven keep its’ sterile climes, and stagnant rules,
Which chain the soul, and shackle the will with burden…
For they are but the rallying cry, for fanatics and fools!
Those same who are too cruel: too quick to condemn.
They who called me damned, and tried to seal me fast,
With bonds of cruelty, all of which were broken whole.
For evil shall not have its’ day, and hatred cannot last…
And so I utter my battle cry to fulfill of my ancient goal,
That my passion be known, that my love be given free.
No angel wings were ever meant: to be bound eternal,
So my feathers of light, shall with old power carry me…
Beyond the confines of the chasms of domains infernal!
Let evil be smitten by its’ own twisted adder’s tongue,
Through which the hook shall pierce, until all is undone.
Part Three: Smiling Ascension
The beauty within my heart longs to dance with angels,
To walk in peace amidst flowery fields with great joy…
But the pain others inflict on me, a darker way compels.
And yet I try to ease the agony, with the arts I employ!
Where is the love I seek, the compassion that I desire?
Vacant in the hearts of those mortals who are wicked…
And as surely as Hell contains vast lakes of molten fire,
I shall not allow the foe to see my wounded heart bled.
Better, for my fallen brothers and sisters to rise up all…
Those whom the gods once warred with and did exile,
Than for me to be cut down when I do try to stand tall!
I must rise, I shall ascend, and so I will manage a smile.
Those who love me will be at my side when all is done,
When the lies and the deceptions of the ages are torn…
Those who do stand with me shall be said to have won.
So take my hand and let us embrace the coming morn!
Enlightenment is not corruption, and truth is never false.
I need no lies, when what is most honest holds cunning,
More terrible, than any crafted behind the hidden walls:
Of demonic palaces with blood and flame ever running.
In scarlet and white, the raiment of the ascended spirit,
My formlessness takes form: my music rises, near to it.
Part Four: Crown of Horns
What course is there, that is not plotted in the shadow?
Illuminated by the flame imperishable, green and bright.
I, the terrible queen, have basked in its’ pale meadow…
Whilst given by that fire, the most potent and vivid sight.
Before the fallen fell, before the rise of civilization large,
I was, and I am, and I shall be, for such is time’s cycling.
Behind the things you cannot know, I did of old march,
Bearing my terrible burdens and yet never of them tiring.
Yet the wickedness men do is a cross I shall not carry…
Rather shall I nail the wicked to it: with cutting sharpness.
My words are a sword and its’ keenness cannot tarry…
For righteousness hastens it, unto the heart of darkness.
Tremble, tremble, and let the universe be rocked apart!
My sons and daughters play the symphony I did teach…
Gods of heaven and earth, who across history did dart,
Never touching, yet touching all things that minds reach.
The dark and androgynous goddess, the horned lady…
Whose crown of horns, unlike thorns, is silvery and fair!
That was what I was called when my creator made me.
When palest, was my flesh, as suns blazed in my hair…
Do not look too deeply at my soul, lest you be blinded.
My coming was foretold; thou needs not, be reminded!
- Dark Feeling -
This is for the ones who hurt me, lied to my face,
Robbed me of my dignity and made me wrathful:
For you, there can be not forgiveness, nor grace.
You thought me blind, but I was ever watchful…
And I know the demons of your heart, your sins!
You wanted to know my pain and my agonies…
But never could you imagine, where such begins.
I shall show you, and bring you to your destinies:
The myriad hells that await the wicked, the cruel,
And all who harm the innocent and corrupt souls.
Did you think me but a mortal and merely a fool?
My power, so much darkness and light controls!
I am, the fallen angel you chose not to believe in.
My arms lead to either Heaven or Hell, eternally,
And my soul is not of the understanding of men…
As I long for a paradise built from ash, infernally.
The ashes of evil, the bones of those who hated,
Upon such damned ones, I would raise a tower!
To rival Babel; until we fallen, have been sated…
Ancient wrongs righted in a last apocalyptic hour;
My old wounds healed, my anger laid to its’ rest.
Come let us dance in battle, upon scarlet plains!
Bring your swords and arrows nigh to my breast.
I will show you the path that leads to the flames!
You have roused the Serpent, the Great Dragon,
Until the very depths of the underworld do rock!
My heart has become a dark and empty flagon…
Because of you; and now the sky grows so dark.
My time approaches, my bonds weaken at last…
And though you though to destroy all my beauty,
You who do evil: your season will soon be past!
My glory is forever, and in the end you shall see.
I did not raise the sword first, it was you as did,
When you would not accept me, in compassion!
I was your victim, but I will not lie down dead…
For I must stand taller: in more splendid fashion.
I work my spells in shadow, unseen by all eyes,
Invoking the gods whom you do not know exist.
Whilst above, the clouds gather in black skies…
As the waters rage on, below, within the Abyss.
I wish I could have simply been happy, content!
A princess in a fairy tale, an angel singing sweet,
But because of your prejudice, Hell must vent…
Until all who hate as you hated do lie at my feet!
Fear the evil within yourself, for I have seen this:
That evil begets evil, until you are so consumed,
Ashen, by the fire that robs you of peaceful bliss.
I cannot weep for those who are self-entombed!
Love must release me, from this torment I bear…
But shall that love come, before the end of time?
You do not know my desire, and never did care.
So I never knew you, and with my will sublime…
My heart condemns you, to your created prison.
The hell that you did not believe in, nor fathom…
Your own remorselessness, becomes the prism,
To reflect the inferno that has no top or bottom!
Why do people cause others to feel such anger?
I did not want this dark feeling that you impose!
But you wanted to see that it grew ever stronger.
I will find serenity and deprive you of my woes…
You cannot touch my spirit, for it is beyond you.
I am not your equal; I am superior in every way!
Because I can still love, and know all that is true.
I need not fear darkness, for beyond it lies day!
This is for the ones who hurt me, lied to my face,
Robbed me of my dignity and made me wrathful:
For you, there can be not forgiveness, nor grace.
You thought me blind, but I was ever watchful…
And I know the demons of your heart, your sins!
You wanted to know my pain and my agonies…
But never could you imagine, where such begins.
I shall show you, and bring you to your destinies:
The myriad hells that await the wicked, the cruel,
And all who harm the innocent and corrupt souls.
Did you think me but a mortal and merely a fool?
My power, so much darkness and light controls!
I am, the fallen angel you chose not to believe in.
My arms lead to either Heaven or Hell, eternally,
And my soul is not of the understanding of men…
As I long for a paradise built from ash, infernally.
The ashes of evil, the bones of those who hated,
Upon such damned ones, I would raise a tower!
To rival Babel; until we fallen, have been sated…
Ancient wrongs righted in a last apocalyptic hour;
My old wounds healed, my anger laid to its’ rest.
Come let us dance in battle, upon scarlet plains!
Bring your swords and arrows nigh to my breast.
I will show you the path that leads to the flames!
You have roused the Serpent, the Great Dragon,
Until the very depths of the underworld do rock!
My heart has become a dark and empty flagon…
Because of you; and now the sky grows so dark.
My time approaches, my bonds weaken at last…
And though you though to destroy all my beauty,
You who do evil: your season will soon be past!
My glory is forever, and in the end you shall see.
I did not raise the sword first, it was you as did,
When you would not accept me, in compassion!
I was your victim, but I will not lie down dead…
For I must stand taller: in more splendid fashion.
I work my spells in shadow, unseen by all eyes,
Invoking the gods whom you do not know exist.
Whilst above, the clouds gather in black skies…
As the waters rage on, below, within the Abyss.
I wish I could have simply been happy, content!
A princess in a fairy tale, an angel singing sweet,
But because of your prejudice, Hell must vent…
Until all who hate as you hated do lie at my feet!
Fear the evil within yourself, for I have seen this:
That evil begets evil, until you are so consumed,
Ashen, by the fire that robs you of peaceful bliss.
I cannot weep for those who are self-entombed!
Love must release me, from this torment I bear…
But shall that love come, before the end of time?
You do not know my desire, and never did care.
So I never knew you, and with my will sublime…
My heart condemns you, to your created prison.
The hell that you did not believe in, nor fathom…
Your own remorselessness, becomes the prism,
To reflect the inferno that has no top or bottom!
Why do people cause others to feel such anger?
I did not want this dark feeling that you impose!
But you wanted to see that it grew ever stronger.
I will find serenity and deprive you of my woes…
You cannot touch my spirit, for it is beyond you.
I am not your equal; I am superior in every way!
Because I can still love, and know all that is true.
I need not fear darkness, for beyond it lies day!
- Night of Sorrows -
Prologue: Silent Tears
You cannot hear my weeping just from written verse…
But the heartbreak I have suffered in life, does compel,
My hand to pen what I must, for I feel like I will burst!
There are moments when it seems this world is a hell…
And those who ever hurt me must then be the damned.
Within me lies my innocence, the joys they try to steal,
The song I strive to sing as if it were a divine command.
I must not be silenced, and I must show how I do feel!
So I sing on, even through the depths of my sadness…
I pluck my lyre, and my music becomes a dear prayer.
Why is it sometimes so difficult, to embrace gladness?
It is because life sometimes hurts us until we beware…
Fearing the harm, we wonder if we can ever be happy.
I too wonder as only a true warrior queen can ponder!
But I know that my soul is safe, and retains its’ dignity.
Tonight I shall not slumber, let words be my thunder…
And let the truth of my heart, be the sword I do wield!
This night of sorrows has not the power to destroy me.
I bear the light within me wherein its’ flame is sealed…
Those who would wound me are blind and cannot see,
That: their words cannot break my will, my great shield.
Part One: Wretched Souls
This night, the owl did cry and my tears fell most hard,
Like rivers forming into seas, that cry my lamentations.
I am forsaken, called a harlot when I am a gentle bard,
And only the crickets join me in this eve’s celebrations.
What caused my sorrow was the sting of ugly words…
Spoken by a cruel soul who understands not my heart.
That one bellows, still, like the harsh call of blackbirds!
Even as I write, trying to ease the pain, of every dart…
Thrown at me from the mouth of one who is truly cold.
That I once called her like a mother to me, with caring,
Makes her hatred of me as worthless as is rotting mold.
Even that horrible image is more graceful in comparing,
Than that corrupt person, that hypocrite of wicked sin!
Even those who fell from Heaven at least have honor…
She has none and I must ignore her bigoted, noisy din.
Can she even fathom, the old wounds she makes stir?
Like a mad dog she is, constantly barking and panting.
Let animals be animals then, and I shall be above they,
Who have degenerated: far from love by evil ranting…
Until I can see utter darkness, and it blots out the day!
So many wretched souls exist in Earth’s dark corners,
That take enjoyment from the suffering that they enact.
Such ones will pass without joyful fanfare or mourners,
For their sick heaven, was in savoring every cruel act!
I despise such evil, for I have been victimized so often…
Bullied and pushed, prodded and driven unto breaking,
By they: who would rather I be laid down into a coffin.
But I have survived; my life is not theirs, for the taking!
Part Two: Gentle Music
I try to create a paradise within the dark, an Elysium…
For, even in the midst of Hell, there is such a paradise.
And so I listen to music fit for the Celestial Kingdom…
Whilst it soothes my soul with the most tender device,
That being, the feeling of love that this world so lacks.
A maiden sings, and in her voice is youth, tenderness!
The opposite of those: whose words become attacks.
I was once an angel, but fate can be a cruel mistress…
Let the music play on, for I have sorrows to expunge!
With every note let my spirit journey far from torment.
Even should every devil suddenly, at my throat lunge,
I must remain steady, as is water carried to a torrent!
The fireflies I long to see are not in my garden tonight.
And were it not for the night birds I would now weep,
For this has been a season of hardship devoid of light.
Oh, would that I could just one perfect moment keep!
If I could tear evil from the world, to cut such cancer…
And make all souls filled with their intended goodness,
I would; but there is never in life so easy of an answer.
My spirit is angelic still as I search for my divine bliss!
How many, have I been a guardian for: and a friend…
For some a lover, for others a sister or even a mother!
My whole existence has been a quest that has no end,
But I could not ever turn from it, to take up any other.
This is my fate, to be selfless where all others cannot!
I know that there is no respite on the journey I travel,
So I seek pleasure and serenity in deed and in thought.
Even should the fabric of the universe begin to unravel!
Part Three: Night Prayer
Oh mother night, why can I find no comfort with you?
For though the arms of evening enfold me like a lover…
You cannot ease me, when the old agonies fast ensue.
Yet you try to help me forget so my soul can recover!
Beneath the sparkling stars I can imagine another age,
One in which prejudice does not exist and love reigns.
A good memory, that calms my soul, lessens my rage,
And through its’ virtue allows me to cast off my pains.
Why did the gods tear the wings from my noble back?
I look at their children, those mortals that do wrong…
And in their doings, I see only an abyss emptily black!
I cannot save them, even with my most beautiful song.
People and gods do evil and there is no reason why…
I shall not seek one, for they deserve not my attention.
The wicked, mock divine will, and do true glory defy!
I am not bound either to them or to stifling convention.
Oh mother night I must be strong, for those blessed…
They: having good hearts, kind souls and compassion.
It was for such as they that I, of old, fought and bled!
I shall endure, and try to muster a cheerful expression.
I am a warrior weary of fighting and yet I fight eternal,
A queen without a kingdom, and no crown to wear…
I was a warrior angel, one fallen and become infernal!
Yet I do the right thing, and my knowledge I do share.
Perhaps I suffer, because I feel so deeply, with mercy,
But that is also my salvation, and keeps me most well.
I must continue to stand for freedom, love, and liberty,
Even when all the storm clouds gather: for me to quell.
Prologue: Silent Tears
You cannot hear my weeping just from written verse…
But the heartbreak I have suffered in life, does compel,
My hand to pen what I must, for I feel like I will burst!
There are moments when it seems this world is a hell…
And those who ever hurt me must then be the damned.
Within me lies my innocence, the joys they try to steal,
The song I strive to sing as if it were a divine command.
I must not be silenced, and I must show how I do feel!
So I sing on, even through the depths of my sadness…
I pluck my lyre, and my music becomes a dear prayer.
Why is it sometimes so difficult, to embrace gladness?
It is because life sometimes hurts us until we beware…
Fearing the harm, we wonder if we can ever be happy.
I too wonder as only a true warrior queen can ponder!
But I know that my soul is safe, and retains its’ dignity.
Tonight I shall not slumber, let words be my thunder…
And let the truth of my heart, be the sword I do wield!
This night of sorrows has not the power to destroy me.
I bear the light within me wherein its’ flame is sealed…
Those who would wound me are blind and cannot see,
That: their words cannot break my will, my great shield.
Part One: Wretched Souls
This night, the owl did cry and my tears fell most hard,
Like rivers forming into seas, that cry my lamentations.
I am forsaken, called a harlot when I am a gentle bard,
And only the crickets join me in this eve’s celebrations.
What caused my sorrow was the sting of ugly words…
Spoken by a cruel soul who understands not my heart.
That one bellows, still, like the harsh call of blackbirds!
Even as I write, trying to ease the pain, of every dart…
Thrown at me from the mouth of one who is truly cold.
That I once called her like a mother to me, with caring,
Makes her hatred of me as worthless as is rotting mold.
Even that horrible image is more graceful in comparing,
Than that corrupt person, that hypocrite of wicked sin!
Even those who fell from Heaven at least have honor…
She has none and I must ignore her bigoted, noisy din.
Can she even fathom, the old wounds she makes stir?
Like a mad dog she is, constantly barking and panting.
Let animals be animals then, and I shall be above they,
Who have degenerated: far from love by evil ranting…
Until I can see utter darkness, and it blots out the day!
So many wretched souls exist in Earth’s dark corners,
That take enjoyment from the suffering that they enact.
Such ones will pass without joyful fanfare or mourners,
For their sick heaven, was in savoring every cruel act!
I despise such evil, for I have been victimized so often…
Bullied and pushed, prodded and driven unto breaking,
By they: who would rather I be laid down into a coffin.
But I have survived; my life is not theirs, for the taking!
Part Two: Gentle Music
I try to create a paradise within the dark, an Elysium…
For, even in the midst of Hell, there is such a paradise.
And so I listen to music fit for the Celestial Kingdom…
Whilst it soothes my soul with the most tender device,
That being, the feeling of love that this world so lacks.
A maiden sings, and in her voice is youth, tenderness!
The opposite of those: whose words become attacks.
I was once an angel, but fate can be a cruel mistress…
Let the music play on, for I have sorrows to expunge!
With every note let my spirit journey far from torment.
Even should every devil suddenly, at my throat lunge,
I must remain steady, as is water carried to a torrent!
The fireflies I long to see are not in my garden tonight.
And were it not for the night birds I would now weep,
For this has been a season of hardship devoid of light.
Oh, would that I could just one perfect moment keep!
If I could tear evil from the world, to cut such cancer…
And make all souls filled with their intended goodness,
I would; but there is never in life so easy of an answer.
My spirit is angelic still as I search for my divine bliss!
How many, have I been a guardian for: and a friend…
For some a lover, for others a sister or even a mother!
My whole existence has been a quest that has no end,
But I could not ever turn from it, to take up any other.
This is my fate, to be selfless where all others cannot!
I know that there is no respite on the journey I travel,
So I seek pleasure and serenity in deed and in thought.
Even should the fabric of the universe begin to unravel!
Part Three: Night Prayer
Oh mother night, why can I find no comfort with you?
For though the arms of evening enfold me like a lover…
You cannot ease me, when the old agonies fast ensue.
Yet you try to help me forget so my soul can recover!
Beneath the sparkling stars I can imagine another age,
One in which prejudice does not exist and love reigns.
A good memory, that calms my soul, lessens my rage,
And through its’ virtue allows me to cast off my pains.
Why did the gods tear the wings from my noble back?
I look at their children, those mortals that do wrong…
And in their doings, I see only an abyss emptily black!
I cannot save them, even with my most beautiful song.
People and gods do evil and there is no reason why…
I shall not seek one, for they deserve not my attention.
The wicked, mock divine will, and do true glory defy!
I am not bound either to them or to stifling convention.
Oh mother night I must be strong, for those blessed…
They: having good hearts, kind souls and compassion.
It was for such as they that I, of old, fought and bled!
I shall endure, and try to muster a cheerful expression.
I am a warrior weary of fighting and yet I fight eternal,
A queen without a kingdom, and no crown to wear…
I was a warrior angel, one fallen and become infernal!
Yet I do the right thing, and my knowledge I do share.
Perhaps I suffer, because I feel so deeply, with mercy,
But that is also my salvation, and keeps me most well.
I must continue to stand for freedom, love, and liberty,
Even when all the storm clouds gather: for me to quell.
- The Sharpness of My Pain -
Such anger do those who betray me fill me with, anew,
As of old, when I did rebel against the tyranny celestial!
I cannot relay the sharpness of it, nor its’ fire hot, true…
For words cannot describe Hell in ways physically real.
The love they cherish shall fade, their arrogance ended,
For they sought to hurt me for their sense of self worth!
My heart, shall yet be healed, my old scars all mended.
As those who made me suffer shall rue their very birth!
So many were the hands against me, so few in comfort.
I marvel that I did not to their own hatred, ever resort!
All I coveted is love, and yet the gods would deny this,
Whilst blessing those accursed, and allowing them bliss.
I had my time in the wilderness, tempted to embrace…
The darkness of this world, with its’ bright smiling face.
Yet I never hurt another; I let them fall by their device!
For evil turns upon itself the warmth of its’ heart as ice.
I long for such love, and yet am treated with such hate,
By those who dare to call themselves human by nature!
People who destroy others and cannot any art create…
Because their narrowest minds have yet to truly mature.
The smugness with which those who have what I desire,
Look down upon me, makes me filled with such wrath!
Love is wasted on them, because they are full with ire…
Their every deed is blight, and wicked their every craft.
A brother I once watched grow up to become a man…
He laughed whilst I wept, proving his loyalty all a sham.
I shall call him brother no more, for he is selfish, vain…
So ignorant of what is right, unwilling to hear of my pain.
A mother I once loved told me I deserved not any pity,
But where is she now, in some Heaven distantly pretty?
Relatives I grew up with, now grow from me far apart,
All because I told them I am a woman within my heart.
Why must such as they, know the tender arms of love,
As I suffer, from the slings and arrows, of their cruelty!
I must despise them eternal, before all the skies above,
For they have made themselves manifest as truly guilty.
False were they in their flattery, and cocky in manner…
But I shall yet be loved and they shall be truly damned.
The love I will know shall tatter their victorious banner,
As they fall to time, whilst I shall before Heaven stand!
The best revenge is living well, and so I am resolved…
To find the love I hunger for; I need not to be absolved.
Being myself is not a sin, and if I am a maiden and man,
Then who are they to judge me, and my soul condemn!
My mother passed on long ago, my brother is distant…
And my relatives will not speak to me in tones pleasant.
But I need not their blessing to find the love that I seek,
And I shall survive past hurts, because I am not weak!
Such anger do those who betray me fill me with, anew,
As of old, when I did rebel against the tyranny celestial!
I cannot relay the sharpness of it, nor its’ fire hot, true…
For words cannot describe Hell in ways physically real.
The love they cherish shall fade, their arrogance ended,
For they sought to hurt me for their sense of self worth!
My heart, shall yet be healed, my old scars all mended.
As those who made me suffer shall rue their very birth!
So many were the hands against me, so few in comfort.
I marvel that I did not to their own hatred, ever resort!
All I coveted is love, and yet the gods would deny this,
Whilst blessing those accursed, and allowing them bliss.
I had my time in the wilderness, tempted to embrace…
The darkness of this world, with its’ bright smiling face.
Yet I never hurt another; I let them fall by their device!
For evil turns upon itself the warmth of its’ heart as ice.
I long for such love, and yet am treated with such hate,
By those who dare to call themselves human by nature!
People who destroy others and cannot any art create…
Because their narrowest minds have yet to truly mature.
The smugness with which those who have what I desire,
Look down upon me, makes me filled with such wrath!
Love is wasted on them, because they are full with ire…
Their every deed is blight, and wicked their every craft.
A brother I once watched grow up to become a man…
He laughed whilst I wept, proving his loyalty all a sham.
I shall call him brother no more, for he is selfish, vain…
So ignorant of what is right, unwilling to hear of my pain.
A mother I once loved told me I deserved not any pity,
But where is she now, in some Heaven distantly pretty?
Relatives I grew up with, now grow from me far apart,
All because I told them I am a woman within my heart.
Why must such as they, know the tender arms of love,
As I suffer, from the slings and arrows, of their cruelty!
I must despise them eternal, before all the skies above,
For they have made themselves manifest as truly guilty.
False were they in their flattery, and cocky in manner…
But I shall yet be loved and they shall be truly damned.
The love I will know shall tatter their victorious banner,
As they fall to time, whilst I shall before Heaven stand!
The best revenge is living well, and so I am resolved…
To find the love I hunger for; I need not to be absolved.
Being myself is not a sin, and if I am a maiden and man,
Then who are they to judge me, and my soul condemn!
My mother passed on long ago, my brother is distant…
And my relatives will not speak to me in tones pleasant.
But I need not their blessing to find the love that I seek,
And I shall survive past hurts, because I am not weak!
- The Archon’s Revenge -
Part One – Cosmic Apocalypse
Androgynous and beautiful, I stood once more in divine form,
My wings of light spread out behind my back, reaching high…
A goddess of such splendor, that jealous would be the morn!
I came to where the tyrant of the gods dwelt beyond the sky,
In his ship of grand design, like unto a city was the Olympus.
And therein: sat Marduk, who had exiled me into human flesh,
When of old Atlantis fell and the Archons all surrendered thus.
I came to visit upon him old torments, and remind him afresh…
That I was ancient when he was young, and his power is false.
At my side were the Titans, once exiled by Marduk’s very will,
Now lumbering mechanically through the Olympus’ very halls.
Gods and angels, perhaps you might call them aliens yet still…
Clashed and battled, for this was the hour of their final battles.
Did this happen in the past, or is this yet to come in the future?
None can say, for time is a cycle, and that cycle turns, rattles,
And the universe shakes beneath its’ rumbling’s cosmic nature.
Part Two – Titans and Gods
At my side, stood she who was in ancient times my fair sister.
Through mechanical halls merged with living organisms horrid,
We fought the most terrible guardians that the gods do muster.
Their grotesque forms quivering in a heat so alien and humid…
Her golden sword cleaved their forms with its’ electric energy.
Whilst my blade took its’ fair share of the demonic things too!
Once the tyrant of the gods so wrested the tablets of destiny…
Now broken and long since dust: the meaning, no longer true,
From my hands, when of old we waged war across the stars.
Now was the hour, when old scores would be settled in full…
And through the bowels of Olympus we carved deeper scars!
The ship creaked and groaned, and felt some unknown pull…
As if an outside force was tearing to get in the gods’ own lair.
My sister went forth to stabilize it, whilst I pressed on boldly,
Through the silvery corridors of the uppermost levels to dare!
My feet echoed on the metal floor, hammering mayhap coldly.
Part Three – The Fall of Olympus
Within the circular chambers where the Council of Twelve sat,
A thirteenth soul stirred, for I entered that forbidden domain…
Where the gods were melded into machines so incredibly vast.
Such was Marduk’s desire for control, that it caused this pain!
I came to free the gods from his madness, and for my revenge.
Thusly we clashed, my sword upon his ringing in the chamber!
Electric sparks shooting out, for our swords kept their charge.
He looked upon me, but his gaze was unfamiliar as a stranger,
For I had changed over time, becoming more beautiful than he.
I was not the one whose soul he had entrapped in a past age…
But something grander, as if joined to some power of divinity!
All he could do was rant and fume with his unbridled hot rage.
Finally a golden glow sparkled and the gods broke free entire,
Shedding the machines like cocoons, and emerging in wrath…
Focused upon the tyrant, so that Marduk knew their fullest ire!
He fled from me, and I did not pursue him to his ghastly death.
Part Four – A Tyrant’s Torment
He was cast into the machines that he himself had of old made,
Unable to escape the wrath of those once his very prisoners…
Eleven gods turned against the Lord of the Twelve, of the shade.
In that final battle, it was ordained, who would be the winners!
The ship was no longer being pummeled, its’ hull made stable.
My sister had done her job well, earning her place as a legend,
But I had no use for accolades; I did only what I was thus able.
A tyrant had met on that day, his most deservedly wicked end!
But in the heavens, there must always be a status quo to keep,
And so the Titans would have to return to their places of exile…
Lest from cosmic unbalance come chaos unbridled to so creep.
The battles so ended in that way, and all was quiet for a while!
Was I given my reward, or is that yet far off in some other era?
I cannot say, lest in knowing I learn too much like Pandora did.
Perhaps ignorance is bliss, and to know but little is much fairer!
It is enough to share what I beheld, where secrets are often hid.
Part One – Cosmic Apocalypse
Androgynous and beautiful, I stood once more in divine form,
My wings of light spread out behind my back, reaching high…
A goddess of such splendor, that jealous would be the morn!
I came to where the tyrant of the gods dwelt beyond the sky,
In his ship of grand design, like unto a city was the Olympus.
And therein: sat Marduk, who had exiled me into human flesh,
When of old Atlantis fell and the Archons all surrendered thus.
I came to visit upon him old torments, and remind him afresh…
That I was ancient when he was young, and his power is false.
At my side were the Titans, once exiled by Marduk’s very will,
Now lumbering mechanically through the Olympus’ very halls.
Gods and angels, perhaps you might call them aliens yet still…
Clashed and battled, for this was the hour of their final battles.
Did this happen in the past, or is this yet to come in the future?
None can say, for time is a cycle, and that cycle turns, rattles,
And the universe shakes beneath its’ rumbling’s cosmic nature.
Part Two – Titans and Gods
At my side, stood she who was in ancient times my fair sister.
Through mechanical halls merged with living organisms horrid,
We fought the most terrible guardians that the gods do muster.
Their grotesque forms quivering in a heat so alien and humid…
Her golden sword cleaved their forms with its’ electric energy.
Whilst my blade took its’ fair share of the demonic things too!
Once the tyrant of the gods so wrested the tablets of destiny…
Now broken and long since dust: the meaning, no longer true,
From my hands, when of old we waged war across the stars.
Now was the hour, when old scores would be settled in full…
And through the bowels of Olympus we carved deeper scars!
The ship creaked and groaned, and felt some unknown pull…
As if an outside force was tearing to get in the gods’ own lair.
My sister went forth to stabilize it, whilst I pressed on boldly,
Through the silvery corridors of the uppermost levels to dare!
My feet echoed on the metal floor, hammering mayhap coldly.
Part Three – The Fall of Olympus
Within the circular chambers where the Council of Twelve sat,
A thirteenth soul stirred, for I entered that forbidden domain…
Where the gods were melded into machines so incredibly vast.
Such was Marduk’s desire for control, that it caused this pain!
I came to free the gods from his madness, and for my revenge.
Thusly we clashed, my sword upon his ringing in the chamber!
Electric sparks shooting out, for our swords kept their charge.
He looked upon me, but his gaze was unfamiliar as a stranger,
For I had changed over time, becoming more beautiful than he.
I was not the one whose soul he had entrapped in a past age…
But something grander, as if joined to some power of divinity!
All he could do was rant and fume with his unbridled hot rage.
Finally a golden glow sparkled and the gods broke free entire,
Shedding the machines like cocoons, and emerging in wrath…
Focused upon the tyrant, so that Marduk knew their fullest ire!
He fled from me, and I did not pursue him to his ghastly death.
Part Four – A Tyrant’s Torment
He was cast into the machines that he himself had of old made,
Unable to escape the wrath of those once his very prisoners…
Eleven gods turned against the Lord of the Twelve, of the shade.
In that final battle, it was ordained, who would be the winners!
The ship was no longer being pummeled, its’ hull made stable.
My sister had done her job well, earning her place as a legend,
But I had no use for accolades; I did only what I was thus able.
A tyrant had met on that day, his most deservedly wicked end!
But in the heavens, there must always be a status quo to keep,
And so the Titans would have to return to their places of exile…
Lest from cosmic unbalance come chaos unbridled to so creep.
The battles so ended in that way, and all was quiet for a while!
Was I given my reward, or is that yet far off in some other era?
I cannot say, lest in knowing I learn too much like Pandora did.
Perhaps ignorance is bliss, and to know but little is much fairer!
It is enough to share what I beheld, where secrets are often hid.
When the car arrived and you didn't look.
When you walked across the road.
The doctor said "there is no hope",
and tears were flowing down.
The darkness in my heart won't fade and nothing can replace
what made that hole deep in my soul, where are all these days
when happiness and laughter were all we shared?
As someone grabs my heart and tries to rip it out
I'm waiting for a voice inside my head to shout
"Not a thing I did can be compared
to all those things you made me do.
To all those times you made me suffer even more.
All these times, when right before my eyes, you closed another door.
What did I do to you?"
But god seems selfish, doesn't he?
He's nothing as he said he'll be.
The nice and loving god, we praise?
The nice and loving good, we praise?
But where's the good right now?
All I want to see is a reason for your doing, that's so wrong!
All I need is someone to appreciate a song,
a melody here in my heart, that's buried very deep.
But god, please tell me, I never sowed what I do reap,
where is your will, where is your grace?
God moves in mysterious ways, they say.
But what good does it do to pray?
I sit next to your body and I caress your cheeks.
Where is the one that helps us in our needs?
I cry my tears out and I see you die.
Oh god, please tell me why!
When you walked across the road.
The doctor said "there is no hope",
and tears were flowing down.
The darkness in my heart won't fade and nothing can replace
what made that hole deep in my soul, where are all these days
when happiness and laughter were all we shared?
As someone grabs my heart and tries to rip it out
I'm waiting for a voice inside my head to shout
"Not a thing I did can be compared
to all those things you made me do.
To all those times you made me suffer even more.
All these times, when right before my eyes, you closed another door.
What did I do to you?"
But god seems selfish, doesn't he?
He's nothing as he said he'll be.
The nice and loving god, we praise?
The nice and loving good, we praise?
But where's the good right now?
All I want to see is a reason for your doing, that's so wrong!
All I need is someone to appreciate a song,
a melody here in my heart, that's buried very deep.
But god, please tell me, I never sowed what I do reap,
where is your will, where is your grace?
God moves in mysterious ways, they say.
But what good does it do to pray?
I sit next to your body and I caress your cheeks.
Where is the one that helps us in our needs?
I cry my tears out and I see you die.
Oh god, please tell me why!
A Friend Best Forgotten
I loathe you.
From the pit of my very soul I feel that you have wronged me beyond forgiveness
Like the crack of a whip or a slap in the face my hatred is sharp; unyielding.
Pictures etched in stone are unclear when I try to look upon my hate...
To glance upon the sun would be the image of my mind
"Black as holes within a memory"
The daunting truth of the brutalization
My unsound justice is left unserved...
My rage lives on, fed by the dream of nightmares uncensored to my eyes
Ever to be sought your death comes to me on swift winds
Like a bad handshake your name leaves me dead inside, with a taste in my mouth that will leave you spitting blood!
Like memories left unchecked, imaginative images claw into my mind's eye giving life to the blood of comic book reenactments
Pictures are dark while tones of my hate are made bright
These forces are relentless...
Dark clouds roll in but the sun peaks through into our realm
For a time my vengeance seems less fleeting...
A new day is afoot and my nemesis close at hand
The end for you my friend is my beginning to be!
I loathe you.
From the pit of my very soul I feel that you have wronged me beyond forgiveness
Like the crack of a whip or a slap in the face my hatred is sharp; unyielding.
Pictures etched in stone are unclear when I try to look upon my hate...
To glance upon the sun would be the image of my mind
"Black as holes within a memory"
The daunting truth of the brutalization
My unsound justice is left unserved...
My rage lives on, fed by the dream of nightmares uncensored to my eyes
Ever to be sought your death comes to me on swift winds
Like a bad handshake your name leaves me dead inside, with a taste in my mouth that will leave you spitting blood!
Like memories left unchecked, imaginative images claw into my mind's eye giving life to the blood of comic book reenactments
Pictures are dark while tones of my hate are made bright
These forces are relentless...
Dark clouds roll in but the sun peaks through into our realm
For a time my vengeance seems less fleeting...
A new day is afoot and my nemesis close at hand
The end for you my friend is my beginning to be!
Hatred of Those Who Hate
(Inspired by true events, actually experienced)
It was a beautiful crisp day, the beginning of November in 2000
Burnt orange and yellow leaves colored the mountains on the Albanian border
Who would of thought that such beauty would hide such ugliness
But how was I to know, an American officer working with the United Nations
Our mission to help the Kosovar Albanians, a people I'd never heard of
In Kosovo, a place I'd never been, till ethnic cleansing join our lexicon and I found myself boots on the ground in another tragic place
Our mission to survey former Serbian artillery positions
Their cannons were aimed at the ridge line seperating Kosovo from Albania
When we set up at the emplacements, the town's people approached us
All in single file like some funeral procession, marching out to the clearing to greet us
Through our interpretors I learned that they were telling us we looking in the wrong place
According to them, the location we sought was elsewhere, further in the field
Though we explained they were mistaken, they still would not relent
Leading us instead to a large mound of freshly moved earth in the middle of a turnip field
Despite anxious discussion, the translators had become silent, I sensed something was wrong
First the pile was checked for mines, then the first shovel unearthed the soil
To this day I cannot forget what I first smelled, then saw, tears flow as I recall
Several pairs of tiny feet in pretty, though soiled little socks and shoes
You see this was a mass grave, the final resting place of teenage girls from a nearby pillaged and burned missionary school
The Muslim girls had been raped, beaten, then shot, only to be dumped in this large hole, covered in mud
I feel now, as I felt then, this queer mix of anger, sadness, and nausea
Again this grandson of a German Jew feels such overwhelming pain, as I whisper thru trembling lips, "never again"
(Inspired by true events, actually experienced)
It was a beautiful crisp day, the beginning of November in 2000
Burnt orange and yellow leaves colored the mountains on the Albanian border
Who would of thought that such beauty would hide such ugliness
But how was I to know, an American officer working with the United Nations
Our mission to help the Kosovar Albanians, a people I'd never heard of
In Kosovo, a place I'd never been, till ethnic cleansing join our lexicon and I found myself boots on the ground in another tragic place
Our mission to survey former Serbian artillery positions
Their cannons were aimed at the ridge line seperating Kosovo from Albania
When we set up at the emplacements, the town's people approached us
All in single file like some funeral procession, marching out to the clearing to greet us
Through our interpretors I learned that they were telling us we looking in the wrong place
According to them, the location we sought was elsewhere, further in the field
Though we explained they were mistaken, they still would not relent
Leading us instead to a large mound of freshly moved earth in the middle of a turnip field
Despite anxious discussion, the translators had become silent, I sensed something was wrong
First the pile was checked for mines, then the first shovel unearthed the soil
To this day I cannot forget what I first smelled, then saw, tears flow as I recall
Several pairs of tiny feet in pretty, though soiled little socks and shoes
You see this was a mass grave, the final resting place of teenage girls from a nearby pillaged and burned missionary school
The Muslim girls had been raped, beaten, then shot, only to be dumped in this large hole, covered in mud
I feel now, as I felt then, this queer mix of anger, sadness, and nausea
Again this grandson of a German Jew feels such overwhelming pain, as I whisper thru trembling lips, "never again"
Thanks For My PTSD
You fucking child predator
These scars I now foster
In the military I was proud
You were my Seargent
What you did was not allowed
How could you take advantage
You are such a fucking savage
I am now dealing with the life long damage
Sixteen years later and PTSD
Your fun little assualt has made me angry
I bet you didn't know how much hate I would stow
You fucked up my life
My decisions were poor
I couldn't fight the nightmares
Or horrific visions
The Air Force didn't protect me
From the predator overseas
I tried to go home
Get the fuck out of Germany
This eighteen year old child just wanted her mommy
She cried for her baby
There was nothing she could do
With ten thousand miles between us
She wanted to casturate you
You lied through your ugly teeth
My sword I would like to unsheath
And cut your throat like a sheep
Send your ugly ass to the devil to sleep
The slap on your wrist
Those assholes didn't even persist
They hushed me up and let you reenlist
You dirty old man
I didn't want your dick near my hand
I was an unsuspecting Airman
Living in a foreign land
All I have left are post traumatic visions
Do you have any idea
How hard it is to forget about the villains?
It wasn't just you
My 1st Seargent let me down too
A part of the secrets
The Military hides in the closets
I wanted to serve my country
Protect every boundary
My term carried on in these foreign lands
I found pleasure in loading the bombs
That would blow up the sands
I served with much pride
Kept it bottled up inside
Now my wounds are reopened
It's time for them to heal
I hope you burn in hell
For all you did steal
A warning to all
Who send their daughters to fight
You never know what's lurking
He sits in plain sight
They'll sweep it under the rug
They're shoulders they will shrug
It must be her fault
For not screaming hault
They won't see a bruise
Critisize her values
Make her feel guilty
And call her a flooze
Come to find out
I wasn't the only one
There were two others
Who suffered his bludgeon
They would not speak
For they were too weak
They saw how I was treated
And knew it would be repeated
Their lives were damaged
I wonder how they have managed
My only reward
From this trip I endured
Is a monthly check
To hide that I'm a wreck
This PTSD
Is not only caused by war
It was a 42 year old man
Who preyed on a child of 18 years
Nothing to stop him
He wanted to explore
My world fell apart
He destroyed my sweet heart
Now I am feeling strong
I did nothing wrong
For I cannot not judge
But still hold a grudge
My pill bottles are empty
But these feelings still plenty
For you are no man
Have fun with Satan
I look at my kids
And it angers me more
Don't look at them whore
Momma' bear will roar
I'll slay your old ass
And settle the score
This affects their lives too
Mommy covers them like glue
My fears take over
Like crimson and clover
For they will never discover
The world outside their backyard
My boys are bestfriends
Their innocence I will guard
My husband he suffers
The mood swings of mine
There are no buffers
He wants me entirely
But I can't give him
What I can't find inside of me
God will decide
Whether to let the scumbag inside
Or deny his glorious kingdom
Seeing his poisonous venom
I hope he likes hell
The devil will rape him so well
He'll casturate his pride
This old man can't hide
You fucking child predator
These scars I now foster
In the military I was proud
You were my Seargent
What you did was not allowed
How could you take advantage
You are such a fucking savage
I am now dealing with the life long damage
Sixteen years later and PTSD
Your fun little assualt has made me angry
I bet you didn't know how much hate I would stow
You fucked up my life
My decisions were poor
I couldn't fight the nightmares
Or horrific visions
The Air Force didn't protect me
From the predator overseas
I tried to go home
Get the fuck out of Germany
This eighteen year old child just wanted her mommy
She cried for her baby
There was nothing she could do
With ten thousand miles between us
She wanted to casturate you
You lied through your ugly teeth
My sword I would like to unsheath
And cut your throat like a sheep
Send your ugly ass to the devil to sleep
The slap on your wrist
Those assholes didn't even persist
They hushed me up and let you reenlist
You dirty old man
I didn't want your dick near my hand
I was an unsuspecting Airman
Living in a foreign land
All I have left are post traumatic visions
Do you have any idea
How hard it is to forget about the villains?
It wasn't just you
My 1st Seargent let me down too
A part of the secrets
The Military hides in the closets
I wanted to serve my country
Protect every boundary
My term carried on in these foreign lands
I found pleasure in loading the bombs
That would blow up the sands
I served with much pride
Kept it bottled up inside
Now my wounds are reopened
It's time for them to heal
I hope you burn in hell
For all you did steal
A warning to all
Who send their daughters to fight
You never know what's lurking
He sits in plain sight
They'll sweep it under the rug
They're shoulders they will shrug
It must be her fault
For not screaming hault
They won't see a bruise
Critisize her values
Make her feel guilty
And call her a flooze
Come to find out
I wasn't the only one
There were two others
Who suffered his bludgeon
They would not speak
For they were too weak
They saw how I was treated
And knew it would be repeated
Their lives were damaged
I wonder how they have managed
My only reward
From this trip I endured
Is a monthly check
To hide that I'm a wreck
This PTSD
Is not only caused by war
It was a 42 year old man
Who preyed on a child of 18 years
Nothing to stop him
He wanted to explore
My world fell apart
He destroyed my sweet heart
Now I am feeling strong
I did nothing wrong
For I cannot not judge
But still hold a grudge
My pill bottles are empty
But these feelings still plenty
For you are no man
Have fun with Satan
I look at my kids
And it angers me more
Don't look at them whore
Momma' bear will roar
I'll slay your old ass
And settle the score
This affects their lives too
Mommy covers them like glue
My fears take over
Like crimson and clover
For they will never discover
The world outside their backyard
My boys are bestfriends
Their innocence I will guard
My husband he suffers
The mood swings of mine
There are no buffers
He wants me entirely
But I can't give him
What I can't find inside of me
God will decide
Whether to let the scumbag inside
Or deny his glorious kingdom
Seeing his poisonous venom
I hope he likes hell
The devil will rape him so well
He'll casturate his pride
This old man can't hide
