Poetry competition CLOSED 6th July 2024 1:03am
WINNER
Betty
Betty
RUNNERS-UP:
Indie
and Anne-Ri999
The Eighth House: Endings/Beginnings
season of the soul in five brief chapters
(1)
i can drown in books
come up for air whenever, but with you
i’m flailing in quicksand passion, flatlining.
poof!
gone!
(2)
naked in your arms, watching the rise and fall of your chest
with each breath, listening to the sounds of you gently dozing
wondering what daydreams you’re having.
my eyes drown in your nakedness; they marvel at the beauty of your face.
i want these moments to last forever, but i can’t capture them
i can't imprison them, so i let go, hoping they'll return
and you do.
each time, different, perfect.
i am alive in these moments.
(3)
i’m driving when i see you and me like
the proverbial flash of one’s life before you die.
front and centre we stand, then you’re twelve steps behind
before you fade as you move further and further away.
disappearing; but not completely.
fine gossamer threads entangle us, and somehow i know
you’ll be the one who’ll decide how far we’ll go.
two people intersect for a moment in this continuum called time.
the road reappears. i’ve navigated a bend.
you’ve disappeared now. completely. but the haunting continues
like the tail end of a dream that remains on waking.
(4)
time
space
distance
gives insight, clarity.
and a rhetorical question.
you professed lust, never love
while i fell deep.
when i woke this morning
in a different place and time
i wondered if you ever liked me.
as the rain falls
a door closes on a decade
of hope, change and growth.
(5)
wind roars, rain dances.
i’m naked, stripped to the bones
of my life before.
Written by seekingkate
(kateA)
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Betty: Halloween air in June
I loved reading the regeneration process through the metaphor of rebirth. Your vocabulary and imagery was astounding, and phrases such as ‘fecund soil in my mouth’ and ‘universe’s placenta’, ‘decapodal fossils’ and ‘sloe-eyed needs’ visually took it to another level in my imagination.
This piece truly encapsulated the ending/regenerative birth that is the 8th House through self-transformation and evolution of a mindset through realization.
AfterSexDilemma: Sodium Battery
This is a very intriguing write. I associate this with us as being 60-80% water who produce salty tears. I enjoyed this because a good cry is a sodium over-spill, leaving us depleted to be refilled. It could also hold a metaphoric inference to bitterness as well. It would be up to the reader to discern the ambiguity of the piece. The ending reminded me of the Tao, in that we must empty ourselves to be filled with something new. I felt this write reflected that aspect of ending quite adequately.
Grace: The Long Dance from Midnight
You’ve captured the ending of a culture quite profoundly. From the arrival of “billowing sails . . .against the “blue sky and sea” to the “eyes peeled blue”, denoting European descent. You reflect a very painful birth via conversion ( Christian, I am assuming ) at sea on the way to your “new” ( albeit not better ) life. You can take the people from the jungle’s blood but I don’t believe you can take the jungle out of the people’s blood. Well done.
Indie: hang the demons with garlic
This was the epitome of taking sour lemons and making lemonade. I hate the cliché, but it’s the first thing I thought of when I read this. How you took the pain and created something beautiful and good and strong each time you experienced it until awareness and refusal to succumb arose as champions in your life. They may dig up that old graveyard under his mother’s sink; however, there will only be an empty grave with your name on it.
Par: House 8
You’ve described the 8th beautifully along with the fear associated with humanity. There’s a quote by Milton ( I believe ) that goes: “The most difficult journey a man can make is within himself”, and I am reminded of it when reading this. Many would rather live a life of fear than take a chance on themselves and something new. I could see the research that went into this.
Willow: house of cards
Firstly, I enjoyed the double-entendre of the title in conjunction with the competition. I was touched by your ability to recognize the cause of your silence and course-correct it for your daughter so a generational curse would be broken. While generational trauma does exist, you are right in that it’s not our legacy except to break it so that our children don’t carry it into the future through their children. And as I read this, I wondered if that’s what it took to break it—the pain associated with such a loss stemming from such a self-sacrifice in the name of love.
Anne-Ri999: elphin
I love that you mentioned Lilith coming both to collect and offer us keys. Reminds me of Hekate at the crossroads - and I love that I am reading this on a New Moon evening. Your poetry is always so mystical and inundated with delicious metaphors coupling with unique imagery. Nothing reflects the true cycle of endings and beginnings as that of nature - the earth and our own.
Casketsharpe: Ms. May (Halloween Syck House Series)
This was a gruesome and macabre tale befitting of Halloween. For me it was difficult to read, but that's what poetry is, it pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to see a reality or part of humanity that would've otherwise been overlooked. While it's not quite what I was looking for, I did enjoy the challenge of the genre.
Kou_Indigo: Comfort Zone: K'alia and Andrea
That was quite a saga filled with thick imagery that painted it to life. Though pain and sadness beauty and truth are born if we are brave enough to face the unknown. I previously noted this part as being superb:
“Truth is not about being in your comfort zone. It is about sometimes going outside of it, into the realm of the taboo, the forbidden, even the frightening. The truth does not require your belief, or your faith in it either. It simply... is. And it will still be, whether you choose to believe me, or believe in me, or not.”
Thank you for sharing such an intimate experience with us.
Exercising_ Demons: Lost Boy
This was a very raw and honest tribute to unexpectedly losing someone very close. It leads you through the history and the process of grief and the speaking, perhaps, of things that were never said during his life. And that's partly the crux of this, in addition to your missing, the inner regret at perhaps not sharing the contents of the heart sooner. The biggest mistake we all make is thinking or believing that there will be enough time. More often than not, there isn't.
slipalong: My Path to the eighth house
I truly enjoyed your reference to poetry as the afterlife! That is so true. Regardless of where we go or what we become, the poem lives on. . .and on through generations to come. It was so good to see you in here! I hope you've been well.
gothicsurrealism: Threshold of Surrealism and Realism
As previously noted on your post, the determination and hope against what seem insurmountable odds is palpable. Poetry can be the magic carpet we all seek to rise above some of life's circumstances. You've expressed that very well here.
seekingkate: season of the soul in five brief chapters
As previously noted, I really enjoyed how you took us through the process and ended with such a barren canvas - and yet from those are born new lives. Despite the sadness and desolation of this piece, I can't help but glean the hope from between the lines. Very powerful.
I loved reading the regeneration process through the metaphor of rebirth. Your vocabulary and imagery was astounding, and phrases such as ‘fecund soil in my mouth’ and ‘universe’s placenta’, ‘decapodal fossils’ and ‘sloe-eyed needs’ visually took it to another level in my imagination.
This piece truly encapsulated the ending/regenerative birth that is the 8th House through self-transformation and evolution of a mindset through realization.
AfterSexDilemma: Sodium Battery
This is a very intriguing write. I associate this with us as being 60-80% water who produce salty tears. I enjoyed this because a good cry is a sodium over-spill, leaving us depleted to be refilled. It could also hold a metaphoric inference to bitterness as well. It would be up to the reader to discern the ambiguity of the piece. The ending reminded me of the Tao, in that we must empty ourselves to be filled with something new. I felt this write reflected that aspect of ending quite adequately.
Grace: The Long Dance from Midnight
You’ve captured the ending of a culture quite profoundly. From the arrival of “billowing sails . . .against the “blue sky and sea” to the “eyes peeled blue”, denoting European descent. You reflect a very painful birth via conversion ( Christian, I am assuming ) at sea on the way to your “new” ( albeit not better ) life. You can take the people from the jungle’s blood but I don’t believe you can take the jungle out of the people’s blood. Well done.
Indie: hang the demons with garlic
This was the epitome of taking sour lemons and making lemonade. I hate the cliché, but it’s the first thing I thought of when I read this. How you took the pain and created something beautiful and good and strong each time you experienced it until awareness and refusal to succumb arose as champions in your life. They may dig up that old graveyard under his mother’s sink; however, there will only be an empty grave with your name on it.
Par: House 8
You’ve described the 8th beautifully along with the fear associated with humanity. There’s a quote by Milton ( I believe ) that goes: “The most difficult journey a man can make is within himself”, and I am reminded of it when reading this. Many would rather live a life of fear than take a chance on themselves and something new. I could see the research that went into this.
Willow: house of cards
Firstly, I enjoyed the double-entendre of the title in conjunction with the competition. I was touched by your ability to recognize the cause of your silence and course-correct it for your daughter so a generational curse would be broken. While generational trauma does exist, you are right in that it’s not our legacy except to break it so that our children don’t carry it into the future through their children. And as I read this, I wondered if that’s what it took to break it—the pain associated with such a loss stemming from such a self-sacrifice in the name of love.
Anne-Ri999: elphin
I love that you mentioned Lilith coming both to collect and offer us keys. Reminds me of Hekate at the crossroads - and I love that I am reading this on a New Moon evening. Your poetry is always so mystical and inundated with delicious metaphors coupling with unique imagery. Nothing reflects the true cycle of endings and beginnings as that of nature - the earth and our own.
Casketsharpe: Ms. May (Halloween Syck House Series)
This was a gruesome and macabre tale befitting of Halloween. For me it was difficult to read, but that's what poetry is, it pushes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to see a reality or part of humanity that would've otherwise been overlooked. While it's not quite what I was looking for, I did enjoy the challenge of the genre.
Kou_Indigo: Comfort Zone: K'alia and Andrea
That was quite a saga filled with thick imagery that painted it to life. Though pain and sadness beauty and truth are born if we are brave enough to face the unknown. I previously noted this part as being superb:
“Truth is not about being in your comfort zone. It is about sometimes going outside of it, into the realm of the taboo, the forbidden, even the frightening. The truth does not require your belief, or your faith in it either. It simply... is. And it will still be, whether you choose to believe me, or believe in me, or not.”
Thank you for sharing such an intimate experience with us.
Exercising_ Demons: Lost Boy
This was a very raw and honest tribute to unexpectedly losing someone very close. It leads you through the history and the process of grief and the speaking, perhaps, of things that were never said during his life. And that's partly the crux of this, in addition to your missing, the inner regret at perhaps not sharing the contents of the heart sooner. The biggest mistake we all make is thinking or believing that there will be enough time. More often than not, there isn't.
slipalong: My Path to the eighth house
I truly enjoyed your reference to poetry as the afterlife! That is so true. Regardless of where we go or what we become, the poem lives on. . .and on through generations to come. It was so good to see you in here! I hope you've been well.
gothicsurrealism: Threshold of Surrealism and Realism
As previously noted on your post, the determination and hope against what seem insurmountable odds is palpable. Poetry can be the magic carpet we all seek to rise above some of life's circumstances. You've expressed that very well here.
seekingkate: season of the soul in five brief chapters
As previously noted, I really enjoyed how you took us through the process and ended with such a barren canvas - and yet from those are born new lives. Despite the sadness and desolation of this piece, I can't help but glean the hope from between the lines. Very powerful.
Indie said:Congratulations Betty, and Rianne. Thank you for this creative comp Ahavati ❤️
You're very welcome, Indie. ❤️
Betty said:I love your comps and I adore your commentary! Thank you! And congrats to Indie and Rianne. This was a blast!
You're very welcome, Betty. ❤️
Both of you were well-deserved winners.
You're very welcome, Indie. ❤️
Betty said:I love your comps and I adore your commentary! Thank you! And congrats to Indie and Rianne. This was a blast!
You're very welcome, Betty. ❤️
Both of you were well-deserved winners.
