Dead Beat Anthems

was it my fault?
what did i do?

i was so little

always felt his
anger, tangible
at the surface

as i got older
bits & pieces
were laid bare

on the news

i searched for
clarity, trying to
figure out who

this man is?

the only thing
i know osvaldo
was his name

given name

he's a bottler
a closed book

was he a victim
or a witness or

...an abuser?

my father who
once was a friar

whatever he's
gone through

it felt like i had

to carry his cross

     
 “Some see fatherless children like a stray puppy in an alley    
But I refuse to be the one they call motherfuckin daddy,    
 “The one who got that pussy pregnant is the one she needs to get with    
And I put that on some real daddy no no shit,    
     
 “If it wasn’t created by my baby making sperm      
Then the rugrat motherfucker is not my concern,    
“I’m not trying to be daddy so kids don’t expect shit from me    
Because my only goal is getting your mama’s stretched out pussy,    
     
 “It can be creamy, labia hanging, or desert storm dried up    
No matter her pussy’s condition I’m just trying to fuck,    
“Wrinkled balls deep, grinding in her pink glory    
Because the number of kids she got will tell her pussy’s nasty story,    
     
 “Baby one    
It could be considered the slip of the nut,    
 “Baby two    
She just got caught up getting raw fucked,    
 “Baby three    
Ho’ you know what birth control is for      
 “Baby four      
Bitch you just a baby making whore!!’    
     
  “Dick thirsty mamas will make sure their babies is asleep      
But their asses wake up hearing mama moan and the bed creak,    
  “It hurts them to their soul hearing mama gag and beg    
It hurts them to their heart listening to mama being long dick fed,    
     
 “Running in the room seeing their mama getting dick drama    
Pulling on my ass cheek screaming ‘get off my mama!    
 “Motherfuckers reading this will bitch I ain’t right    
Regardless of the fucking hate my condom is always extra tight,      
     
 “They hear their mama call me daddy, now they think I’m daddy    
But the only love they getting is exhaust from my caddy,    
 “Coughing and wondering if I’ll be back ever again      
Only if their ho’-ass mamie want my nuts on her chin”.

Today is the day, let us cheer
Our lives are so much better, that he's not here
Oh father, you never were dependent
Do not forsake us, you were always ascendant

It's been a year
We haven't shed a tear
No angels or demons to guide us
We are free, there's nothing more to discuss

We shut him out
Years of screaming inside the house
Our proclamation, loud and clear
Growing up, with formidable fears

Father please, stop pretending
Negativity was always trending
You were received
Cut and remedied

A timeless and useless scar
In our memories, looking through the dense fog

You forget the time
When you committed a crime
Abusing us throughout our youth
Physically & mentally, that's the truth

Numerous times you raped her just for fun
You fucked her raw, she swallowed your cum
I remember looking on, nothing I can do
Mom was working late, she had no clue

You punched, beat, smacked and abused us
Sodomized, humiliated, to afraid to discuss
Mom was a coward, looked the other way
She never had a pair, all she'd do is prey

As we got older you became more abusive
Even in public, the violence was more obtrusive
One day last year, we had enough
It was Father's day, you thought you were tough

Your incestial, violent ways were all I could stand
Sis and I hate you, I loosely call you a man
That night we plotted a way to destroy you for good
We knew what this entailed, we both understood

Sis lured him in her room, she enticed him with her twat
His focus was on her crotch, he was getting real hot
He pulled out his cock, stroking it a bit
He told his daughter, spit on your clit

As soon as he attempted to climb on top
I came from behind with an axe, I began to chop
He became startled as the axe penetrated his arm
He turned around in disbelief, he knew I meant harm

He tried to grab the axe but to no avail
Sis jumped on him, and started to whale
I told her to jump off as I axed him in the chest
The axe now wedged, right below his breast

Mom came in screaming and yelling at us to stop
Sis bitch slapped her twice, she was hurt, she then dropped
I finished father off with a blow to his head
He fell like a ton of bricks, I believe he was dead

Bits of plasma, brain and skull oozed all over the floor
Sis began to vomit, she ran out the door
I propped him up, told mom to give him a goodbye kiss
She actually did, off with his head, the feeling was pure bliss

Mom called the police, we told them our story
Today's is his one year anniversary
Dad provided pain, now we shine in the glory

 
I know things got off on the wrong foot right from the start
At the time when I was young I just fell apart
Even after all the years of me trying to do what was right
Lately it just feels like your silence is out of spite

With every visit I loved our conversations and laughs
The quality time was more precious and unforgettable
And as you got older you became stronger and bolder
So I wrote you verses to make our relationship memorable

But something strange happened within the last few years
You’re so distant and quiet and won’t talk to me anymore
I thought this was a two-way street type of relationship
Your one-word answers seem to want to close that door

I haven’t heard from you a while
I miss your face and I miss your smile
You say nothing is wrong but the tension is strong
I’ve been away but now I feel like I’ve been exiled

I can try and try again hitting that same old dead-end
But I don’t know what’s going on if you don’t tell me
Living in the past holding on to anger is in dire contrast
That will leave nothing but pain and a hurtful memory

But I made my peace with it a long, long time ago
I knew there’d be consequences despite how hard I tried
Because no matter what you’ve heard the evidence is there
For the many times I was rejected I had to swallow my pride

Every day I pray that truth and wisdom come your way
Hoping you understand my love for you will always be there
I know there’s love in your heart even though we’re far apart
Even if this new odd façade likes to show like it doesn’t care

I haven’t heard from you in a while
I miss your face and I miss your smile
You say nothing is wrong but the tension is strong
I’ve been away but I can wait in peace here in exile

buried thoughts rising up after long ignorance
from the roots of self-loathing, insecurity, angst
clear memories of your fiery eyes, Dad
as you would snap the belt
stare into my core
your mouth salivating
as you prepared to put this toothpick
of a sonofabitch
in his place

total submission
not gonna stop til there is no smirk left
not gonna stop til voice becomes mute
breaking down any sense of security
stomping out every last bit of self-assurance
to cope with your own flaws
to secure your insecurity

goddamn
I'm broken
but that's on me
right?