Poetry competition CLOSED 31st August 2020 2:56pm
WINNER
Magdalena (Spartalena)
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O Cliché, Cliché, wherefore art thou Cliché

case28
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42awards
Joined 16th June 2013
Forum Posts: 2084

Poetry Contest

Write a poem using one cliché from the list below in each stanza… then edit your poem rewriting each cliché using a fresh phrase.
Background
We all know what clichés are… because we use them whenever we open our mouths to communicate using common phrases that everyday people can understand.

But… when it comes to poetry, clichés are shortcuts and lazy phrases that make our poems feel cheap and fucking ordinary.

You lot aren’t everyday people, apparently you’re all infected with some kind of strange poetic virus that makes you want to self isolate to internalise your feelings, so that you can write poems about sex, drugs and a young lover who dumped you back in high school... some 15 years ago.  And because you’ve tested positive to poetry, you’re not allowed to use clichés, no fucking way!  You're a poet with a purpose in life to write extraordinary poems… and to be perfectly blunt with you, clichés are the only reason why you're not driving a BMW right now, because you’ve only got 100 followers on your Instagram poetry account and your self-published poetry book isn’t selling like face masks on Amazon. Fuck those fucking clichés!!!

[insert clichés poetry challenge here]

Rules
1. Write your poem using one cliché from the list below in each stanza. Then edit your poem rewriting (exorcising) each cliché using a fresh phrase.  Publish the poems in your catalogue and submit both entries here in this thread.
2. The only clichés allowed in your poems are the ones from the list below.
3. One entry (two poems) per poet.
4. Each poem must have a maximum word count of 350 words.
5. New poems only.
6. Form - whatever.
7. No collaborations.

Tips and Tricks
- I'll be selecting the winning entry based on originality, creativity and editing skills.
- I suggest you use a cliche finder to check that both your poems (before and after) don’t contain any uninvited clichés crashing your stanzas… I’ll be checking. http://www.clichefinder.net/

Cliché List
afraid of his own shadow
armed to the teeth
avoid like the plague
bad to the bone
bat out of hell
blood is thicker than water
clear as mud
crystal clear
curiosity killed the cat
dog eat dog
draw the line
dressed to kill
eat your heart out
every fibre of my being
eye for an eye
follow your heart
force of nature
free as a bird
go against the grain
go with the flow
growing like a weed
high and dry
high as a kite
hot under the collar
icing on the cake
in a jam
it's a small world
joined at the hip
judge a book by its cover
justice is blind
kick the bucket
kid in a candy store
kiss of death
labor of love
lighter than a feather
loose cannon
make your blood boil
moment of truth
money to burn
never look back
nose to the grindstone
not a hope in hell
on thin ice
open a can of worms
out of the frying pan into the fire
perfect storm
playing with fire
pure as the driven snow
quick as lightning
red as a beetroot
roll over in the grave
running in circles
sharp as a tack
slippery as an eel
stiff upper lip
thick as a brick
tip of the iceberg
tough as nails
ugly as sin
vanquish the enemy
water under the bridge
white as a sheet
wolf at the door
young and foolish

DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States 18awards
Joined 29th Mar 2017
Forum Posts: 1393

ooooh! this is a hell of a doozy.

and just the kind of challenge i need right now!

case28
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42awards
Joined 16th June 2013
Forum Posts: 2084

DaisyGrace said:ooooh! this is a hell of a doozy.

Thank you, Daisy Grace for pouncing on the challenge... and glad to hear the words hell of a doozy! That's a good thing I think... it could mean I haven't lost my touch... its been a while since I last ran a comp.

Calamityofgin
Fire of Insight
United States 5awards
Joined 10th May 2020
Forum Posts: 149

She was a (force of nature) and had only the vaguest ... until

She was the reckoning    
In God’s eye
 
And she came before his moment  
Not unlike    
The clamshell breathing
That exhaled enough    
Of gritty debris  
And salty waste    
To stir warm waters to rise  
 
A momentum growing    
From one minuscule  
Molluskular  
Involuntary reaction    
To his “pain in her mask”  
Pure no count dumb fuckery  
 
A momentum that would rise    
And fall  
To onslaught    
Tidal wave effects  
 
And land  
(An understatement at the very least)  
Onto his his psyche  
(She sees dumb fuck beach)    
And leave in tatters  
 
Browned and dimmed  
Once fresh pressed    
Buttoned downed to tanned flattened  
navel  
Supremely white cotton shirt  
And smirking logo stitched on it  
 
And she would grin  
Clamshell wide  
At how his smile once matched the smirk    
Of the perfectly put and odd little logo    
That sat    
(almost mocking her)    
Upon his white shirt  
 
But now due to  
The much needed exhale    
(Involuntary Molluskular removal of little more that bits of would be shit)  
 
Had left him only the expression    
Of purely God Smacked  
Written by Calamityofgin
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anvinvil
Anvillan
Fire of Insight
United States 2awards
Joined 16th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 90

Related submission no longer exists.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/393095-cliches/i née

I need to delete the poem posted in error and add new submissions. How do I delete? I’m ready to add what I assume is what’s required... A.

case28
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42awards
Joined 16th June 2013
Forum Posts: 2084

And when poets say my comps are doozies, I know you mofos are going start breaking the rules.  Jen and Anvil I'm very pleased I could inspire you both to weave away with some poetic clichés, but I'm drawing a line in this thread before shit gets out of hand.

From this post on entries must be posted in tandem e.g. "Before" (cliché) version and "After" (no cliché) version.

slipalong
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 43awards
Joined 1st Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 857

Slippery as a eel

Duplicity a dirty underhanded trick
all the boxes had a tick
just with one exception
for he seemed the perfect catch
the diamond ring that spells commitment
it was just paste: he was so slick
promises of everlasting
painted pictures of such bliss
 illusions of true understanding
the one that always would persist
took her flower in the heat of passion
the honey from his lips it dripped
sought for everlasting happiness in desperation
but from her hands, an eel as slippery
grasped emptiness that leaves you miffed
Written by slipalong
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anvinvil
Anvillan
Fire of Insight
United States 2awards
Joined 16th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 90

Cool, sorry, how do I delete?jp

wallyroo92
Tyrant of Words
United States 154awards
Joined 11th July 2012
Forum Posts: 1873

A Jar of Bees

 
I used to get into loads of trouble in my heyday
But I guess I used to like opening a can of worms
Watching the situation develop you could say
The mess I made would end up in bad terms

But worms move slowly, gradual and grossly
Giving you some time to think, move or react
The analogy is closely related but it’s also mostly
A way to explain how much it can have an impact

Open a jar of bees and these you will not appease
You’ll need to move fast or it’ll feel very prickly
Everything will go up by a couple of degrees
Because the situation is going to escalate quickly

Next thing you know you’ll be running in circles
The sting will bring a new kind of suffering
Might as well play music like you’re in a circus
While you jab, punch and miss with every swing

Opening a jar of bees might sound a little funny
When you hear the buzz you know it’s going to be bad
You’ll be in a swarm of trouble but most of all honey
Those little motherfuckers are going to be mad

So be wary and don’t try to open a jar of bees
Don’t make those kinds of decisions on the fly
And if you do, know your mind won’t be at ease
Oh please believe me, take it from this guy
Written by wallyroo92
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Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 3005


Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 3005

Related submission no longer exists.

DaisyGrace
Dangerous Mind
United States 18awards
Joined 29th Mar 2017
Forum Posts: 1393

I so wanted to get to this, but life is life and time got away from me. Any way you could extend it a few days?

anvinvil
Anvillan
Fire of Insight
United States 2awards
Joined 16th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 90

Old and Wise...

To be old and wise is the goal of us all.
The experience of a lifetime is priceless
That experience carries a curse of not
being able to change the wrongs we saw.

Young adults are preoccupied with work,
raising a family and perhaps civic obligations.
With those obligations behind us, we tend to
think back to what we could have done differently.

Concerns of the cost of retirement and
necessary insurances dominate the
conversation. Do we downsize, sell
the homestead. What about the possessions?

Then there’s health. Keeping track of a
dozen pill bottles. When to take each,
how many and at what time. Refills,
which ones and when. Which pharmacy?

Needs are fewer as time goes on.
Walking the dog, mowing the lawn are
part of the new normal. Occasional
painting but the days of ladders are gone.

What’s most important is love and companionship.
A fifty year marriage has bonded you.
When you saw her at 16, you loved her
50 years later, when you look, she’s still 16.

But now the ultimate concern is death.
Time is running out. Who will care for her?
The children have their own families.
I pray to live one day less than her.
Written by anvinvil (Anvillan)
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case28
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42awards
Joined 16th June 2013
Forum Posts: 2084

Congratulations and thank you for those who were inspired, interested and the many who scratched their heads... I'll wrap up this cliché writing challenge debacle with my favourite cliché... there can be only one!

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 3005

Thank you Alexander. Great comp to get ones head around. Shame there were not more entries.

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