Put Up Your Favorite Poem

Well I,
I just wrestled with myself while the breath leaked out
Sweat up my college bed and your fleece pj pants
Will be waking up for work tomorrow at 6

It is so stupid I had to keep my breaths little
and send my moans into my skin
where there's barely room
instead of out into the air of
a bedroom we share

and how the light through these dumb blinds probably breaks
over my peeved face
and my sighing lump of roommate
who definitely heard me missing you

Every thing in life that isn't you picking me apart,
fucking me, and then me washing in your wonderful boysmell
scratching your head while you "mm"
is a huge ugly overcoat they want me to wear in the summer

I object,
fleece does not handle sweat. at all

Once upon the now In the future past and present
I'll give ya a sound Ta represent my intentions
I'll smooth out the vibe
subscribe to the tribe of the sublime rhyme coming outta my mind
ya see I gotta little plan for this here jam
a diaphragm exam cuz damn! I'm no sham
I'm just a man with a story in his soul
who's gotta take control of the stories flow
So here I go and I'm ready to flow
but I'm not Mike, Jim, Dave,John or Joe
they call me math to the you
And I'm coming through
with no hullabaloo
I know what to do
I gotta sure shot vision and it's tried and true so come out you party people here's a brand new rhyme
I'mma kick it with a flavor and it's right on time
because all the people in the world have got to know
that I'll be bringing back the funky fresh and positive flow.
but in order for you to understand the soul
I gotta take ya back to when I was no years old
before I was born from what I hear
my mother lived her whole fucking life in fear
outcast and ostrocised
a child's mental illness unrecognized
there's no disguise her family don't understand
they treat her like a stranger in a strange land
from the hand of the Bible's one god
To her family the problem of her mind a facade
distorting the words of the one holy book until something that could be fixed became something that broke
festering in the mind of the babe
a fictional world the only way she could be saved
hundreds of friends she did create
until this world of make believe was her only escape!
picking up a pen and a pad
She began to write and didn't feel so bad
the lyrics began to pour from her soul developing when she was five years old!
all her life she wrote poetry
until at the age of 25 she had me
and this is where my story begins
so stick around for the funky fresh flow my friends

somewhere, somehow
I've found that I'm bound
to lay down the funky sound for da crowd

so come along and listen to me
I gotta story bout a boy they call Matty
and it's plain to see that he's really unique
but kids at school don't have time to comprehend
some call him a freak and he feels sad and bad
he doesn't have a dad when he goes home
his mother struggles with strife and he feels so alone
thrown!
into a world that was so dark
a matriarch with a heart for flow art
in Hagerstown beside the city park
the matriarch played for Matty a little tune called subterranean homesick blues
she said it was true that she couldn't understand
all the words that Bob Dylan penned
but Matty found that he could comprehend
The flow of the soul and all the words within
it seemed that he could find within the Rhyme a sublime sign that transcended time to entwine and bind the words in his mind
a light!
began to shine in his heart
In da House on da hill beside the city park
little Matty knew that he had to start remembering many different kinds of rhymes so he could feel the soul and learn the words inside
but ya see,
little Matty just like his mom
had to deal with things that he shouldn't have known
it seems he had to grow much too fast
and leave his childhood in the past
he felt aghast and harassed trying to grasp
his single mothers mental illness
cuz her family laughed at the pain in her brain made her an outcast said she was to blame
she became her family's shame
when all they had to do was embrace her pain and love the child that they turned away
but they couldn't
and they didn't understand
blaming mental illness on the devil's hand
so this single mother didn't even have help
raising 2 children all by herself
away
little Matty didn't run
instead he tried to face his Mama's problems
100 mates as a child she did create
the house on the hill with the guard by the gate
many people reside inside of one brain
and the diagnosis that the doctors gave?
son, you mother dissociates
a fucked fate that is for sure
but it's never too late ta knock on destiny's door.
section 8, no lights a can of peas
but Matty still held on to his dreams
singing MC Hammer to the kids at school they thought it was cool but he felt like a fool.
maybe Matty could've made a lot of friends if he didn't live inside of his head
lemme bring it back in cuz I'm getting off track
I'll take ya back to Matty's fifth grade class
English class to be precise
the teacher in class she was really nice
Matty knew that he loved to read
video games, books, magazines and RPGs
but he never did try his hand at writing
until one day in class he had to pick up a pen
to use
for the teachers task write a story everyone and share it with the class
at first, little Matty was scared to death
fearing everyone would laugh at his attempt
but as he wrote he began to find
that the rhyme in his mind became alive
ya see everybody has something different inside
that make us unique but are the ties that bind
if we all strive to revive whats been deprived from our hearts and our souls we will find our souls purpose alive and in the light
on the path of the right not the wrong
lemme break it down for you in this song
little Matty found his soul in fifth grade
he knew with stories and rhymes he could be saved
because on that day in front of the class
Matty wasn't afraid and everybody clapped
that's the haps!
Matty felt the jive vibe
the poem he wrote was actually a Rhyme!
it seems the thing he got from his mom
was the heart of the poet with a Rhyme ingrown
but a zone inside that was all his own was a soul for the flow with a funky song
although Matty found his soul on that day
he didn't embrace it and it faded away
but that's ok, this isnt the end
as Matty turned to Matthew the tales he still penned
the soulflo didn't grow and he didn't ascend cuz he only shared them with his mother, brother and friend
he grew up this way playing video games every single day low aims I must say
floundering gains and jobs that were lame 24 years down the drain!
but stick around cuz chapter 3'll be fresh
I'll bring ya up to speed in the present tense
at 24 Matthews life changed forever
he met a tender soul of the opposite gender and the key to everything he could be now hinders
on his souls unknown missing figure
a beautiful girl by the name of Linda.

do a little digging and you will find gold
to feel the funky flow from da heart and da soul

its about time for the end of the tale
or maybe the beginning only time will tell
it's not time to fail but to reach for the Stars can ya feel the heart?
as I write this jam with a pen in my hand
after the rhyme ends my story begins
Cause as the words are penned I feel the song within
so listen!
very carefully this'll be complete at the end of chapter three
across the sea he couldn't have known the other half of his soul lived there alone
her name was Linda and she waited for him
in the city of Dublin, Ireland
two souls apart but both akin
completing each other but never knowing
and this is why the soulflo can't begin
cuz Matthew hasn't found his one true friend
again
let's go back to Maryland and I'll tell ya right now how Matthew met Lin.
24 years old and living with his brother Matthew couldn't tell one day from the other
a night time stocker is the job he kept
living his life paycheck to paycheck
in the tape deck a repeated refrain
"everyday is exactly the same"
It was a song that Trent reznor sang
back to the future in the 90's
Time slips away each and every day
after work Matthew sits playing his games
always feeling like something is missing dreaming of doing something artistic
but a problem persisted he created as a child he acted like a clown to fit in around anyone and everyone in any crowd
well here's to the Kinks another song resounds "let's all drink to the death of a clown"
at 24 Matthew got real depressed
he got stressed and became obsessed
with Chinese culture and a certain actress
every day and every night Matthew reads books about Chinese life
a decision was made life changed overnight
yes that's right,
he joined a website
the site itself seemed pretty phony
all the girls only cared about money
we can call it monitary matrimony
Matthew only joined the site on a whim
listenin ta something that called from within
the chances were slim that he'd find someone on the site lookin for true love
the girls all seemed like conspirin liars
so he would quit the site when his time expired and retire his profile
but on his subscriptions last day of cover something monumental happened that changed him forever
in Ireland Linda sits alone in rainy weather
looking at the screen on her computer
joining the site looking for a true lover
but all the men wanna do is get her under covers
she was gonna quit the site but then she discovered
a man named Matthew he was two months younger
by saying hello she uncovered a treasure never knowing this togethers a lifelong endeavor of endless Love that will never be severed
so both of them were gonna quit the site
both seconds away from hittin unsubscribe then Linda decides that she wants to say hi
will Matthew reply?
it's easy to see
yes he did the rest is history!
there was something about her that he felt was different
just like him he found that she was gifted
she watched horror films every day and night had a hard time finding her own kind and no one ever really understood her mind
wined and dined is enshrined in mankind
a stereotype designed to confine
all the blind minds follow underlined lies
but Linda declined she was undefined someone had to see what was behind her eyes!
A shout out to Santeria by Sublime
"all I really wanna say is there's just one"
ain't no sun, when she's gone
I didn't say shine so I think I'm all good
as Shao Khan laughs its understood
the quote he spoke "it has begun"
Matty and Matt become I and me
for over a year the two of us would speak
finally we decided we would have to meet
and so we agreed on a whim
that I would fly to Ireland
but I never really left the place where I had grown
and now I was steppin into the unknown
but I was shown a bright light deep in my heart
and I had to follow it no matter how far
i see now I became a good man
if I'm able to hold true love in my hands
a special gift many people can't find
especially if their lives give em fucked up minds
but damn!
Mom I'll give a shout out to you
with all the shit you faced we still became two
pretty good guys with respectable lives
who don't lie to their wives and try to be nice.
now let's go back across the sea
where I was terrified initially
I only ever had 1 girlfriend
but she was kind of a slut
3 kids, different dads
she was 24 and I was 17
baggage in the closet of the skeleton queen
its easy to see that it was all wrong
Billy Joel said in Anthony's song
"I'm moving out" and to add my own
I'd rather be alone cuz its better to belong to something lifelong!
10 years later and we're still together
truth be told, I love her now more than ever
I don't think true love can last
your blowin smoke out your ass
if your always happy every coin has two sides yin and yang
it was actually China that changed me totally
so stay in your seat I got one more story
times were tough in Ireland man
I couldn't work and I was living off of Lin
we didn't see eye to eye we fought a lot
I was thinking Lin would give up on the spot
but in her heart Linda felt something
I know it's true cuz I felt the same
it's easy to say that we had problems
but instead of breaking up we tried to solve em
Maybe one of the things that makes it true love is that when times are tough you still don't give up
every life has to deal with some strife
like the yin and the yang or the day and the night but only those that fight keep the fire alight
true love is a test that most people fail
ya gotta be strong if ya wanna prevail
so eight months later we set sail
to her hometown and the end of tale
and this is where I found the soulflo again teachin English at college I made a lot of friends
living in China made me understand
this world is not divided it's a single land
everyone alive is from the same place
not black or white or Yellow it's the human race
but if this terrible truth we don't face
global unity we might as well erase
then we build walls to separate every country and every state!
underground in ouya Linda found a round little disc with a profound sound
after years of holdin down a dried up pen 2-Pacs greatest hits had me writing again
sitting on the bus everyday Chinese people lookin at me real strange
a pen and a pad in my hand I can't see anything but the page in front of me
I know I gotta make my stories flow
cuz I got the soul of the poets of old
but many musical styles reside in my soul and hip hop is the fix for the prose with the flow
lemme take a moment before the jam ends to tell ya two of my influences
the first name I'll drop of course is Tupac he's a good of rap like the Beatles of rock
and then NWA steps into the ring
they revealed a side of life that changed everything
Dr Dre? what can I say?
he can make a phat beat out of anything
but truth be told most of my soul is from the funky fresh style of the school of old
Lo and behold!
it seems now I find I need to write em down in a different rhyme
outta sight! this is taking all night
I wasn't trying write another Rappers Delight I guess the might of the light of soulflo incites and ignites my mind to write prose
so, congratulations!
you've gotten this far lemme try to make my point and speak from the heart.
weather big or small we all have a fate
but destiny it ain't, it's what we create
Linda you really changed my life view
I found my heart and soul because of you
maybe before my view was askew
but now I gotta say I know whats true
ya see
I've thought it through and here's what I've gleaned I think we become what we believe! but dontcha know every lock needs a key but if ya can't see the key, ya still believe? if ya don't then your dreams won't be achieved!
don't have to be love thatcha find right now all you ever really have to find is yourself!
one final note before the jam ends
don't you dare ever question my skills again
or if ya do, here's a challenge for you
try to take the time to write a rhyme a tight as mine fool
don't have to make a point when it's plain to see that your gonna need a rhyming dictionary.
so come on man why can't we all just decease?
kill negativity & focus on peace?
Me?
I just wanna release my soulflo
I call a masterpiece
so maybe then all the world can see  it's time to modernise the funky fresh beat and bring it back into the mainstream

Love is not defined by dates and presents
Love does not have a price
Love cannot be a payment
Love is not an excuse

He didn’t love her but he wanted to fuck her
He didn’t see her as his equal but he wanted to fuck her
He didn’t think she was pretty but he wanted to fuck her
He doesn’t acknowledge her but he wanted to fuck her

He wanted to fuck her so he bought her dinner
He wanted to fuck her so he pretended to love her
He wanted to fuck her so he engaged her
He wanted to fuck her so he told her he cared

And then he fucked her and it was good
And then he fucked her and he was hooked
And then he fucked her and he thought it was fruitful
And then he fucked her and she didn’t like it

He fell in love with her after the fuck
He truly wanted her after the fuck
He was pleased with her after the fuck
He wanted more by then she didn’t give a fuck

There sits a cliff
That goes on forever
And ever,
"The edge of the world"
Some say..

Planted along the edge
A tree grows tall
That daring tree
With arms outstretched
Over the edge.

The one day,
A rope sailed over a branch
And dropped down
A young boy in a wheelchair caught the end
"What are you doing?"

"I'm building a swing"
He replied,
You see, he wanted to fly
But could not stand and had no wings.
So he built a swing

So he could fly
Without ever even standing up.

Dying forever no beginning or end
Halfway to never in the dungeon to spend
A sleepless nightmare mystifying escape
Absent of substance and distorted in shape
Echoes of madness like a wailing applause
Scared distant voices trickle out from the walls
Eerie passageways where direction is blind
Ghastly intentions enclose in from behind
 
Insanity beckons from a vacuous cell
Captive reclusion is the mirror of hell
Unruly puppets roam about all alone
Controlling their strings with a will of their own
Like pests they infest the dungeon where they nest
They seek to molest and cause strife and unrest
The puppets control the reflections they stole
Imprisoned the soul in a bottomless hole
 
A dungeon quite sublime so brilliantly unique
Grotesque perceptions are part of the mystique
Recurring images feed continual dread
And always far worse the things looming ahead
Glimpses of phantoms vanish into the gloom
A sense of foreboding that can only mean doom
Piercing the darkness with an ominous stare
Eyes that keep watching pretend nothing is there
 
Wisps of delusions become stuck in a gaze
Seemingly floating along strings in the haze
Twisted and tangled left helpless to dangle
A thrall to the strings that tighten and strangle
Deep in the dungeon engulfed by confusion
Fear that can't reason taints every conclusion
Revolving obsessions fraught with the darkest fear
Transform reality when puppet shows premiere
 
Violent by nature everyday they destroy
More aspirations of a sweet little boy
Bludgeoned to pieces with blood soaked compassion
Brutal destruction is always in fashion
Overkilling methods no motives to ask why
Conflict sets the rules and mistakes must comply
Behind every hope puppets lurk in disguise
To spring yet again another lurid surprise
 
Time's without motion sunless hours stand still
Empty permanence not anything can fill
Trapped with each movement desperation comes due
Licking cracks in the floor just to feel something new
Repeatedly striking with savage devotion
They choke out the spirit and kill all emotion
Struggling for freedom brings the curse of defeat
They never fight fair they just cut off both feet
 
Crawling through spaces that the puppets can't close
Safe in the moments where euphoria goes
Immersed in trances riding yesterdays back
To days long ago when they didn't attack
A disturbing calm exemplifies what's real
Can't discern what is not and decides how to feel
Malcontent lingers where the truth is untrue
So true are the lies played in constant review
 
Puppets don't follow only they give commands
Compelled to obey whatever their demands
Certainty for sure must ensure thinking more
Eclipsed by the urge to think more to be sure
Choice shows no mercy and freewill has no cure
Armies of puppets hold positions secure
They can't move with the flow nor let anything go
Lack of exposure is the world that they know
 
Socially shriveled in a loathsome abode
A fool to ways of the world's spoken code
Curled up in a ball and withdrawn in a cage
The price to be paid for another missed stage
Hiding in corners too afraid to be seen
Avoiding triggers in a vapid routine
Perniciously grinning from the acme of hate
Caught in the chaos that the puppets create
 
A life sharpened by threats simply never forgets
And guilt's forced to display a collage of regrets
Fragments of purpose of a life that wafts past
Waning in focus then is gone all too fast
Contemplation cries as to how to begin
Fiercely extruding the intruders within
A glance through the bars with a glare of disdain
Sedition is wary in the puppets' domain
 
The tide of regression doesn't ever relent
Viciously pulling down a drowning descent
Banished from pleasure where no light ever shines
Salacious visions cross some dangerous lines
Devoid of passion love has rotted away
Hollow affections pervade the stench of decay
Loneliness thrives in a desireless touch
Dreams dare to suffice but not enough is too much
 
Tenebrous figures shimmer in bewitching form
Morbid perversions grow increasingly warm
Persistent attempts to break free of the strings
Arouse the darkness to do terrible things
Decisions concede to the puppets' own game
Futile endeavors evoke more of the same
Identity marred by dejection and shame
Permanent damage most suitable to frame
 
Impaled by the screams that puncture through the heart
A journey subverted right from the very start
Self-acceptance bleeds out every feeling turns numb
All functions shut down and needs quickly succumb
Tears have ceased falling like a waterless rain
Dried stains on the face are dead hopes that remain
Expressions glaze over in a quiescent state
Resigned to the fate only death can abate

Am I the only one that believes that suicide is a beautiful thing?
do not misunderstand me, I did not say it was good or that anyone should do it
it just has a poetic nature
When someone is about to take their own life they are at their most  real state
most often they are alone in the moment
where were you and what were you doing when you were at your most real moment in time

if it be by artillery that be the quickest way to go
if by hanging or by drowning that being the slowest and most thought provoking way
I am not telling anyone to or how to kill themselves
I do not wish that on anyone
I am just speaking on perception
just not from a first person point of view

for those that try this means of exit
the letter is the most important part
they want people to know why it came to such a drastic measure
or they could care less at all

the final moments is where it all stands
do I go through with it
or do I stick around and hope things get better

I wonder what flowers they will use at my funeral

please don't end it this way
this is not the solution
please talk to me
for my voice is louder than the grim reaper that is knocking at your door

Late morning sun breaches blinds,    
   I stir; you invite me    
…lost in a damp cave,    
      heat    
i stand strait, hungry.    
       slowly, you feel me.    
your trembling beckons me closer—    
      mischievous: I retreat    
mouth agape, your eyes dart—piercing the depth of me,      
your beauty hypnotizes    
      my hunger grows…I am at your command    
         deeper, faster    
evaporation carries sweet nectar to my breath    
      captivated, i grow more powerful    
       you writhe    
hearts beat in tandem, faster    
     i inhale you    
         you climb,    
A Tremor    
    w    
     a    
     t    
     e    
     r    
     f    
     a    
     l    
     l    
     s    
i lose my strength