Pistanthrophobia

For those who need info:

pis-tan-thro-pho-bi-a
- the fear of trusting people due to past experience and relationships gone wrong.

Rules.

1) Collaborations Welcome.
2) Maximum 250 words, I'm looking for short writes.
3) New or Old writes are encouraged.
4) Please limit this comp to two pieces per poet.
5) Edits are encouraged until final posting day.
6) Have fun with it.


You have 14 days go for it!


-x-

Walls and Bricks



she'd built her walls to last
kept photographs and tear stained letters
testaments that she'd use like cement
reinforcing her barricades with drink
and stuff too depressing to be called music

I'd make pleas for preferred judgement
point out the bias
buy her new albums but
at the end of every argument
I was gonna cheat and lie
that was pre-confirmed
ever imminent

and I'd be there
assuming the truth was self evident
I'd drive into her breakdowns when she needed me
mix them strong and light her smokes
hold her until morning before heading to work
send flowers and love notes at lunch  

just to be questioned about my motive
she said roses smelled like a guilty conscience
and she always sensed the presence of another

I made my every move honest
intentionally kept things steady
and solid
found myself constantly made to swear
cross my heart there was nobody there
when she wasn't
nobody else I secretly wanted

until I lost it
spilled all I knew of self fulfilling prophecy
I wished on stars and everything
until I found myself falling apart
in the arms of someone else

sobbing as my ears burned for more
of her smooth words
as she soothed my aches with reparations
and swore to go all in

I'd never craved anything harder
or ran faster

I had
loose ends to tie up and
years of bad poetry to write first
behind a layer of protection
decorating my own new wall





 

she blew out the city of lights
 
borne in the deconstruction of catacombs
filled with a thousand empty promises and languid kisses
 
bellows stoke caramel and nutmeg embers
pressed between her chapped fingers
her skin is ignited with the same insanity
unwrapped and drawn on by my parched lips
until I gnaw on her marrow
 
she tells me don't start crying for her
and I tell her that's easy
 
I never stop
 
she leaves on her chariot
and I'll take mine
she takes the laughter
I've stolen over time
I lie to the devil's reflection
and say that's just fine
 
I was breathing through her eyes
and seeing through her skin
standing in the stone garden once again
 
she warns me that angels can't love beasts
 
playing in the silhouette of His crucifixion
I take her
inviting the wrath of two millennia of sacrifice
she submits damning us both
 
she tells me don't start crying for her
and I tell her that's easy
 
I never stop
 
she leaves on her chariot
and I'll take mine
she takes the laughter
I've stolen over time
I lie to the devil's reflection
and say that's just fine
 
we move further into the shadows
further among the dead
death kissed in darkness
her beast once more fed
 
she tells me don't start crying for her
and I tell her that's easy
 
I never stop
 
she leaves on her chariot
and I'll take mine
she takes the laughter
I've stolen over time
I lie to the devil's reflection
and say that's just fine
 
Inspired by Riders on the Storm (Jim Morrison) for The Doors

Oh WOW!

Thank you for the awesome start!

Really love both interpretations here!

What is love but unspoken death
He glears right through me
Words spoken sweetly, in tones of honesty he swears that he loves me,

Touch as cold as winters ice leaves it's marks with a price. Closed off to the feeling of what could be I dear not submit my self to the

Shattered dreams causing us to scream at one another. "Open up I'll keep you safe." Is what you tell me.
You say you would give me the moon and the srars.

I'm filled with fear, emotionally scared,
I tried to tell you not to fall so hard. The walls around my heart I have put up for protection against any more grief.

I want to know love, but fear it's too late, a heartbeat no longer exists here in this chest only brick fills this space,
A house of card's ready to collapse.

I see the tears that are being shed, I know I should feel bad.
Hollow, empty, a storm rages inside causing chaos.
You ask what is wrong with me if only you could see what has been done then maybe you would understand.

aversion

there are times when
the very thought
of skin touching
skin
is abhorrent
and i can’t make myself
touch you
or them

i want to curl up
a tiny ball
shrink into the
mattress and
forget the
flesh crawling memories

but i can’t forget
(thankfully you understand)

so we trip and try
and stumble
over and over
to make sure
that i can at
the very least
function

Thank You so much for your entries, this comp is doing so nicely!

Much Love

Al -x-

245 words... right on the limit!


Reasons not to trust French men (A collection of triolets)

I.) The meeting

Your hands were more than Gods to me
I thought about them day and night,
They were the first thing I could see
Your hands were more than Gods to me.
I spoke to you, a gentle plea,
And I was firmly in your sight:
Your hands were more than Gods to me.
I thought about them day and night.

II.) The Encounters

Breathe in, and hold, and slowly out
And feel the moment, my good girl
Erase your fears and all your doubt
Breathe in. And hold... and slowly out...
A release from four months of drought
I'll watch your bloom gently unfurl,
Breathe in.... and hold... and slowly out,
and feel the moment, my good girl.

III.) The leaving

You hid your wedding ring so well
That I believed your secret lie,
I did not hear the warning bell;
You hid your wedding ring so well
And I was left, an empty shell.
As I could only mouth "goodbye".
You hid your wedding ring so well,
That I believed your secret lie.

IV. ) en résumé

Do the French pen poems to themselves?
Will they save us all the heart-breaking?
They should keep their books upon their shelves--
Do the French pen poems to themselves?
For the lonely girl who surely delves
Will hold herself at night, still shaking.
Do the French pen poems to themselves?
Will they save us all the heart-breaking?

Victory After Death, Victory Over Pain

there's truth in pain
it hurts at first
it burns, it bursts
we lose our dignity
indulge in our self pity
we wander in despair
and we wallow in spite
but we know pain
doesn't mind a good fight
if your blood growls
underneath your skin
give pain a taste
of it's own
medicine

you either wallow in pity
or you swallow pain
you either charge to victory
or you fall in shame
you can lose your life
but you will gain a name

Awesome writes here,

Thank you so much for your input!

Al

Never More then Once More

Never would she trust anymore
as she was cheated on before
and her mother before her
and other generations of women

her stupid heart cheated on her
fell in love and she promptly knew
tears would be her bedfellow
as he was too good to be true

so the circle game began
and the music of the carousel
accompanied her doubts and fears
her sighs of relief
accompanied the fading sounds of his footsteps

Never More, she whispered
and never more she did
until the next sparkling eyes
trapped her foolish heart.

 

Untitled

You told me I was the one that finally made you change. You told you were done with all of the lies and games.  You told me I could trust you with my love, with my heart. I've waited and waited, when did you plan to start? You told me you loved me, but that's just what you told me. You fooled me once, but not twice. That was the old me.

Best friends desires
You said it would be just a game,
So I sat down next to you.
Your my friend, for I love you.
Why would you do this to me?
You tell me to close my eyes, blinded by your friendly voice.
Blinded by our past friendship, but most of all blinded by being naive.
"Close your eyes for me baby " is what you say.
As you tie me up, and say you will kill my family if I try to fight.
Holding up a silver blade, for now it's time to trade souls.
My soul becomes black with hate as I ask him,
" do you still love me baby? " I said, with a looming anger.
Trapped under your grasp, a prisoner to your darkest deepest desires.
Pulling me with your little rope like I'm a lost pet.
Touching in places, not meant to be touched.
I was so confused... You filthy bastard! I hate you!
As you come up with your hand stroking my arms , stroking my hair.
Struggling to take off the blind fold.
I cry in the darkness, which are tears ignored.
"I love you" he says, as he lays a kiss with his dirty mouth.
That's what you say now... But when you don't need me you call me a "bitch, whore, ugly, fat and weird"
As I take up my own knife and say "I loved you"


Note: This actually did happen to me a long time ago. After it did, I was asexual for a very long time. I couldn't really trust anyone to be honest... As it did happen to me multiple times.

###

Kiara
 
i woke up too drunk to fake sick
couldn't have stayed home anyway  
test today  
like I studied  

so here i sit  
watching the deconstruction of minds
pretending to give a shit  
cool kids snarl at me  
confirming my non existence  
 
geek  
 
four eyed freak
 
I ask a question I know there's no answer for  
just so I can justify getting high during recess  
better my 420 than dad's .44 blowing my mind  
 
there's been enough blood on the playgrounds
 
Next day ...  
 
she tells me she's pregnant  
says I'm her favorite  
the only one who seems to care
everyone likes my jokes  
she doesn't want to go home
 
neither do I
 
so we grade papers and talk  
tell her my mom was a teenage mother
strongest woman I know  
 
more stories
she laughs
she cries  
 
asks me my name  
my real name  
 
why
 
If it's a boy  
his middle name will be mine  
 
I walk her out  
Thank her  
 
Yesterday?  
 
That was then, today I was a teacher again