Love-Hate-Love

all the flickering lights
seem to blind my eyes
gazing through the blurry stars
as im trying to
make my way home
so many cross roads
to choose from
mind follows footsteps
heart follows none
as i try to make my way home
i want to be at home
right now!
I want to look  in to the mirror
and feel satisfied
with turned off lights
then i think to myself
to find peace
to find peace to feel safe
to feel safe to die with no fear
after all what matters is
where i spent the night
did i manage to survive
weather you got home safe?
not a question to ask
weather we will ever meet
again in this lifetime
i remember your face tonight
tomorrow i'll remember another
you'll say you know me now
another would say
I know him better than you
yet the doubt is there
what does makes more sense
or otherwise
thought to myself
or did i hear someone say?
or was it my imaginary friend?-fuck that
you should take your turn
to the left from here?
did i say no? or did i just not care?
i stopped for a moment and
looked in to the sky
and i thought to my self
how desperate i am
to see a moon in the sky
surrounded by stars
yet i knew
how i fancy a star
above the moon moon that shines
an obscure star
in bluish gray sky
placed in an unnoticed corner of the sky
that shines more than the moon
if you look close in to it
nobody cares
even if you shine
since the moon is there
to bring light to their night
you are a star
the star stole my attention
to make me feel sober
to bring me the misery
a star like no other
one out of the zillions
yet so obscure
trapped in a coner
of dark grey sky
a star that doesn't shine
to the eyes of others
a star that lies within
an unnoticed corner
of gracefull purple spot
of your own
by your own
I enjoyed your death
as you weep
while sun conquers moon
while dawn conqers dusk
to bring you death
to bring me joy