deepundergroundpoetry.com
Imperfect Perpetuity
Bittersweet days pour endlessly in the hourglass.
Tear-stained, I watch the sand grains, recalling
our past pluperfect, enmeshed in each other
in dreams that led us to forget ourselves.
I've tried to shelve the days and nights
of "...wish we were..."
scanned stark horizons for what will be.
I fear I will need to scour my mind free
of any part of you. I've now buried us
where our hearts beat in silent unison.
Sadness and yearning, clamoring,
brought us together. We shifted
sand dunes to make our treasured moments,
those memories tattooed under our skin
as foreboding angels danced on devils' pins.
And so I sit, watching days slip,
still bittersweet, one grain at a time -
each grown into a pearl of wonder,
worn near my heart until our days run out.
If we could only turn the hourglass without
spilling what anchors us in fertile soil,
and plant our memories to feed the roses.
Published 3rd Jun 2016
| Edited 7th Jun 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
3rd Jun 2016 11:46pm
Lovely. I found myself slightly disconcerted, though, by "we shifted sand dunes" -- I am guessing that this is connected to the hourglass?
3rd Jun 2016 11:51pm
Thank you, famished one.
The idea started with shifting mountains, i.e., doing something that was hard. But I also wanted something that connected to sand in the hourglass, and so... sand dunes. I have put it in the Critique Me thread, if you wish to take another shot at it, or you are welcome to do it here.
The idea started with shifting mountains, i.e., doing something that was hard. But I also wanted something that connected to sand in the hourglass, and so... sand dunes. I have put it in the Critique Me thread, if you wish to take another shot at it, or you are welcome to do it here.
4th Jun 2016 4:39am
finely sculpted verse. to live in one perfect moment
of happiness is a remarkable desire.
time is as harsh as the weather,
but the roses grow anyway...
of happiness is a remarkable desire.
time is as harsh as the weather,
but the roses grow anyway...
4th Jun 2016 7:03am
4th Jun 2016 4:54am
Oh I enjoyed reading this! Beautiful lines throughout! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sadness and yearning clamoring
brought us together. We shifted
sand dunes to make treasured moments,
those memories tattooed under our skin
as angels danced on prickling pins. "<--- wonderfully sculpted!
*...sending a belated welcome to dup.... I am always late to the party.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sadness and yearning clamoring
brought us together. We shifted
sand dunes to make treasured moments,
those memories tattooed under our skin
as angels danced on prickling pins. "<--- wonderfully sculpted!
*...sending a belated welcome to dup.... I am always late to the party.*
4th Jun 2016 6:22am
Thank you for your kind comments and your welcome. It's still a work in progress...
4th Jun 2016 1:51pm
I'm having a bit of difficulty swallowing the word "pluperfect".
For starters, it's an obscure and odd sounding word. Next, I had no idea what it even meant. Then after looking up the definition and learning that it means
- a past aspect of the past itself -
I find myself reading Line 3 as
[ our past early on in the past, enmeshed in each other ]
Butcher of English that I am, my uneducated brain wants to say
[ our pluperfections, enmeshed in each other ]
which to me then reads and at the same time implies
[ earlier moments within our past, enmeshed in each other ]
Should I just shut the hell up now or what?
For starters, it's an obscure and odd sounding word. Next, I had no idea what it even meant. Then after looking up the definition and learning that it means
- a past aspect of the past itself -
I find myself reading Line 3 as
[ our past early on in the past, enmeshed in each other ]
Butcher of English that I am, my uneducated brain wants to say
[ our pluperfections, enmeshed in each other ]
which to me then reads and at the same time implies
[ earlier moments within our past, enmeshed in each other ]
Should I just shut the hell up now or what?
4th Jun 2016 2:17pm
4th Jun 2016 5:26pm
Actually, to my understanding, it means a past that has already been completed, which is the way I used it here: in the past, we had been enmeshed in each other. We no longer are, in the same way.
I know it is an odd word (and the term I used for the tense is in fact the way it's referred to in other languages). I'm glad you pointed out the issue - no reason at all to shut up. But I may, possibly, stick with it simply because it feels right to me (because an alternative might require many more words).
I know it is an odd word (and the term I used for the tense is in fact the way it's referred to in other languages). I'm glad you pointed out the issue - no reason at all to shut up. But I may, possibly, stick with it simply because it feels right to me (because an alternative might require many more words).
4th Jun 2016 6:21pm
Anyhoo, puperfections isn't even a real word ..... but you may steal it if you change your mind.
Superpuperfections?
Whatever you do, don't try puperections ........ it sounds all kinds of nasty.
Superpuperfections?
Whatever you do, don't try puperections ........ it sounds all kinds of nasty.
4th Jun 2016 2:23pm
Sometimes you must let go
in order to fly, and fly in order
to discover the happiness
of yourself. When two people
like that meet, two who have
flown the landscape of themselves
into the oasis they sought, the
moments melt into smiles and
life becomes home.
Lovely, Mary.
in order to fly, and fly in order
to discover the happiness
of yourself. When two people
like that meet, two who have
flown the landscape of themselves
into the oasis they sought, the
moments melt into smiles and
life becomes home.
Lovely, Mary.
