Surreal Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#surreal
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
17 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
Going Batty
There's an antique bat
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
25 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
6th Jan 2025 11:13am
6th Jan 2025 11:13am
The Parallel Pixie
I was twirling my pen around, inbetween my fingers
Trying to think of what i should write about next
(Not realising that my act of pen twirling
Was equivalent to rubbing a genies lamp!)
When a pixie-like entity entered my room
Saying "I can grant you one wish!"
"Only one!" i said "I was expecting three!"
(In reality, i wasn't expecting ever to be granted a wish!)
"You're right" said the pixie genie person (do pixies have pronouns?)
She continued....."But we've had to make
Some very painful...
Trying to think of what i should write about next
(Not realising that my act of pen twirling
Was equivalent to rubbing a genies lamp!)
When a pixie-like entity entered my room
Saying "I can grant you one wish!"
"Only one!" i said "I was expecting three!"
(In reality, i wasn't expecting ever to be granted a wish!)
"You're right" said the pixie genie person (do pixies have pronouns?)
She continued....."But we've had to make
Some very painful...
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
28 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Jan 2025 12:20pm
3rd Jan 2025 12:20pm
Baked Beings
For breakfast
I shall have bats wings
And mermaids tails
As sirens sing
And chips
And maybe, just maybe
A side dish of baked beings!
Not yet a Heinz variety
The more you eat
The more you impart
Especially, if these baked beings
Are only half baked!
by Jemia
I shall have bats wings
And mermaids tails
As sirens sing
And chips
And maybe, just maybe
A side dish of baked beings!
Not yet a Heinz variety
The more you eat
The more you impart
Especially, if these baked beings
Are only half baked!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
36 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Dec 2024 12:59pm
28th Dec 2024 12:59pm
Nora
A witch
Upon her broken broom
Came a'crashing through my window
Into my bedroom
Sending ornaments, and such like
Smashing to the ground
I was to stupified
To say anything profound
Then she spoke,
As quietly as a wisp of smoke
"I don't suppose, if it's not to much bother!"
"I could trouble you for a cup of tea?"
So i wandered into the kitchen
Full of mystery
Wondering whether i was dreaming...........
By the time i returned to my room
She was sat down looking relaxed
Everything seemed...
Upon her broken broom
Came a'crashing through my window
Into my bedroom
Sending ornaments, and such like
Smashing to the ground
I was to stupified
To say anything profound
Then she spoke,
As quietly as a wisp of smoke
"I don't suppose, if it's not to much bother!"
"I could trouble you for a cup of tea?"
So i wandered into the kitchen
Full of mystery
Wondering whether i was dreaming...........
By the time i returned to my room
She was sat down looking relaxed
Everything seemed...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
#witches
46 reads
0 Comments
Shon
Poem Published
28th Dec 2024 10:48am
28th Dec 2024 10:48am
Red Polka dot & blue
I met some ladies last night.
Two and three.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
The later was so friendly.
To her friends I was welcomed too.
I asked the beatitude, why?
She replied cause you.
You looked so friendly too.
I thought I'd gone home alone.
Awaking in the morn.
Throwing the duvet aside.
I happened to glance back.
There they were.
Lying side by side.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
Memories of last night.
Came flooding back.
Of red, polka dot & blue.
Thro in...
Two and three.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
The later was so friendly.
To her friends I was welcomed too.
I asked the beatitude, why?
She replied cause you.
You looked so friendly too.
I thought I'd gone home alone.
Awaking in the morn.
Throwing the duvet aside.
I happened to glance back.
There they were.
Lying side by side.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
Memories of last night.
Came flooding back.
Of red, polka dot & blue.
Thro in...
#dreams
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #surreal
#LifeAsAWriter #surreal
93 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
27th Dec 2024 11:54pm
27th Dec 2024 11:54pm
To Infinity And Beyond
(my test tube theory on our existence)
...that the whole universe is contained within a giant testube, and that we are simply part of an experiment, and that these giant other beings/scientists, themselves inside another test tube, and that this is part of a infinite Russian Doll affect, and that each level there are various similar experiments going on at the same time, which may explain why some believe, or sense, that there are parallel universes, and also explain why we cannot comprehend, or understand the true meaning of infinity, as surely there has to be an end somewhere, but if...
...that the whole universe is contained within a giant testube, and that we are simply part of an experiment, and that these giant other beings/scientists, themselves inside another test tube, and that this is part of a infinite Russian Doll affect, and that each level there are various similar experiments going on at the same time, which may explain why some believe, or sense, that there are parallel universes, and also explain why we cannot comprehend, or understand the true meaning of infinity, as surely there has to be an end somewhere, but if...
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#surreal
55 reads
3 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Dec 2024 11:34pm
23rd Dec 2024 11:34pm
S'now Joke!
Need to rant!!!!
I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kind hearted, or I'm too stupid..... 😞
Yesterday it was so cold out that i took a man into my flat out of the kindness of my heart, i felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold. i turned up the heating and let him stay overnight. However this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him.
The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the floor of the flat
! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to...
I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kind hearted, or I'm too stupid..... 😞
Yesterday it was so cold out that i took a man into my flat out of the kindness of my heart, i felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold. i turned up the heating and let him stay overnight. However this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him.
The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the floor of the flat
! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to...
#Christmas
#funny
#satirical
#snow
#surreal
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Dec 2024 9:43pm
22nd Dec 2024 9:43pm
A Cocc, And Bull Tale
The cuckoos
coccyx
Lay damaged
by the cocks crow
As the cocks
coccyx
Began to
glow
And
so
Both thought it
all very unfair
As they
hobbled about
With a sore
derriere!
by Jemia
coccyx
Lay damaged
by the cocks crow
As the cocks
coccyx
Began to
glow
And
so
Both thought it
all very unfair
As they
hobbled about
With a sore
derriere!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
36 reads
0 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
19th Dec 2024 7:34pm
19th Dec 2024 7:34pm
Petals For The Hatter’s Bands
Petals For The Hatter’s Bands
“I’ve outgrown all my sweet sixteen dresses. Being eighteen feels so strange. It is even more peculiar than falling down the rabbit hole when I was but a wee lass.”
“Don’t feel glum my dear. It will feel like a dress tailored just for you in the bat of your eyelashes.”
“Will I still get to visit you here in this wonderland I have come to call home?”
“You will see us when you dream.”
“I hope so. I’d be lost without your tea parties.”
The Hatter says, “Let me go pick the berries that...
“I’ve outgrown all my sweet sixteen dresses. Being eighteen feels so strange. It is even more peculiar than falling down the rabbit hole when I was but a wee lass.”
“Don’t feel glum my dear. It will feel like a dress tailored just for you in the bat of your eyelashes.”
“Will I still get to visit you here in this wonderland I have come to call home?”
“You will see us when you dream.”
“I hope so. I’d be lost without your tea parties.”
The Hatter says, “Let me go pick the berries that...
#dreams
#magic
#surreal
#tea
#women
73 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
18th Dec 2024 2:45am
18th Dec 2024 2:45am
Time For The Goblet Of Honey
There's a toilet roll
By my shoulder
Tis true
But not there
For the loo
But a random aitchoo
It's currently looped
Over the stem
Of a bottle
Of balsamic vinegar
Which is half sticking
Out of a drawer
Of a bookcase
With no books
After this write
And read
You too
May fancy mead!
by Jemia
By my shoulder
Tis true
But not there
For the loo
But a random aitchoo
It's currently looped
Over the stem
Of a bottle
Of balsamic vinegar
Which is half sticking
Out of a drawer
Of a bookcase
With no books
After this write
And read
You too
May fancy mead!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#satirical
#surreal
29 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
15th Dec 2024 3:16am
15th Dec 2024 3:16am
Night Of The Living Wobble!
It was once said
That Weevils wobble
But they don't fall down
I used to be a Weevil
Now i'm just a wobble
"Remember you're a wobble
Like a womble
Only different....
by Jemia
That Weevils wobble
But they don't fall down
I used to be a Weevil
Now i'm just a wobble
"Remember you're a wobble
Like a womble
Only different....
by Jemia
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
56 reads
0 Comments
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