NaPoWriMo2018 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2018
napowrimo2018 seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
thepositivelydark
Poem Published
4th Nov 2018 6:38am
4th Nov 2018 6:38am
Rockin'
Thrumming
Guitar strumming
Heart
Beats
Pounding
I'd like to crash
In the rush
Of your melody,
Singing
Haunting me.
And your riffs
Rip me apart -
Raise me to ecstasy -
You're killing me,
Little deaths with me.
And you screech the yous
In your script -
Baby, kiss me with notes
And falsettos slithering.
Neon light inhales -
Black and white exhales -
Loose shirt and tight jeans,
Fingers magic on strings.
Shut these...
Guitar strumming
Heart
Beats
Pounding
I'd like to crash
In the rush
Of your melody,
Singing
Haunting me.
And your riffs
Rip me apart -
Raise me to ecstasy -
You're killing me,
Little deaths with me.
And you screech the yous
In your script -
Baby, kiss me with notes
And falsettos slithering.
Neon light inhales -
Black and white exhales -
Loose shirt and tight jeans,
Fingers magic on strings.
Shut these...
#lust
#music
#NaPoWriMo2018
898 reads
8 Comments
thepositivelydark
Poem Published
18th Jun 2018 2:05am
18th Jun 2018 2:05am
Hazy
She sat at that diner, alone -
Staring at reflections and bouncing lights,
Before her blank stare.
The heavy heat of the summer night
Had her dizzy and feeling strange -
Like an anchor pulling her downward to dreamland.
There was an open door and a balcony,
There was a full moon that stares.
And she,
On unsteady legs,
Confront her voyeur.
Ask what it wanted.
Later, she'd have her pen on paper,
And ink for each sequence of her dream.
She's a doll alive.
She'd echo the world
That normally let her...
Staring at reflections and bouncing lights,
Before her blank stare.
The heavy heat of the summer night
Had her dizzy and feeling strange -
Like an anchor pulling her downward to dreamland.
There was an open door and a balcony,
There was a full moon that stares.
And she,
On unsteady legs,
Confront her voyeur.
Ask what it wanted.
Later, she'd have her pen on paper,
And ink for each sequence of her dream.
She's a doll alive.
She'd echo the world
That normally let her...
#loneliness
#NaPoWriMo2018
#WritingPoetry #SelfReflection
#WritingPoetry #SelfReflection
878 reads
6 Comments
thepositivelydark
Poem Published
17th Jun 2018 5:43pm
17th Jun 2018 5:43pm
Surrender
I don't think I would ever run out of questions.
A million what ifs,
A million whys,
Or that who.
My heart had become used to nothing ever lasting.
This too shall pass, with the bad
Most of the good tags along and
Takes another piece of me.
I am a jumbled mess -
Stitched together with words.
Their ink seeped into my skin,
Mixed into my blood -
It is now coursing through me.
I do not know how to live without it.
The full moon hovered as I thought,
Washing the dishes on the sink,
I do not know how...
A million what ifs,
A million whys,
Or that who.
My heart had become used to nothing ever lasting.
This too shall pass, with the bad
Most of the good tags along and
Takes another piece of me.
I am a jumbled mess -
Stitched together with words.
Their ink seeped into my skin,
Mixed into my blood -
It is now coursing through me.
I do not know how to live without it.
The full moon hovered as I thought,
Washing the dishes on the sink,
I do not know how...
#NaPoWriMo2018
#WritingPoetry
#SelfReflection
1001 reads
4 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
21st May 2018 8:01pm
21st May 2018 8:01pm
Poetry Fairy
She fluttered my way, one
Sunday afternoon,
as I sat feeding ducks
by Lake Linda
Her gorgeous green eyes –
her deep scarlet wings –
her glittering dress –
she intrigued me.
Her voice sang out
in perfect verse,
calling poetically, magically...
inviting me into her story:
“Write with me
Come on a journey
I'll show you how to be free
“Black ink
Carefully penned
Follow my lead, my friend
“Write with me
...
Sunday afternoon,
as I sat feeding ducks
by Lake Linda
Her gorgeous green eyes –
her deep scarlet wings –
her glittering dress –
she intrigued me.
Her voice sang out
in perfect verse,
calling poetically, magically...
inviting me into her story:
“Write with me
Come on a journey
I'll show you how to be free
“Black ink
Carefully penned
Follow my lead, my friend
“Write with me
...
#friendship
#fairies
#NaPoWriMo2018
#MyInspiration
#WritingPoetry
864 reads
11 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
11th May 2018 4:08pm
11th May 2018 4:08pm
don't even breath within 20 feet of me
touchy, touchy
let me sleep
I don't want to hear another peep
touchy, touchy
get away
I don't want to see you today
touchy, touchy
you want affection
I just want chocolate kisses
touchy, touchy
I'm sorry I snapped
you don't understand why I'm like this
just get out of my space
or I might lose my patience
it's not personal
but right now I can't handle your existence
yes, I'm a bit over-sensitive at the moment
oh, don't I know it
yes, this...
let me sleep
I don't want to hear another peep
touchy, touchy
get away
I don't want to see you today
touchy, touchy
you want affection
I just want chocolate kisses
touchy, touchy
I'm sorry I snapped
you don't understand why I'm like this
just get out of my space
or I might lose my patience
it's not personal
but right now I can't handle your existence
yes, I'm a bit over-sensitive at the moment
oh, don't I know it
yes, this...
#women
#NaPoWriMo2018
#frustration
513 reads
7 Comments
mel44
Poem Published
10th May 2018 2:26pm
10th May 2018 2:26pm
Crisis
Screeching halt
Crushing metal;
rising from
the back seat floor
Racing heart
does not settle;
hot stinging
sensation sore
Eyes wet
head burning
ruby red;
gushing, bleeding
flashing lights
undiscerning
Maternal voice
panicked, pleading;
fearful shaking
comfort seeking
"Oh my baby"
mother shrieking
running towards me
as I fell . . .
Unnerved
and distressed
remembering
nothing more
Although feeling altered
to...
Crushing metal;
rising from
the back seat floor
Racing heart
does not settle;
hot stinging
sensation sore
Eyes wet
head burning
ruby red;
gushing, bleeding
flashing lights
undiscerning
Maternal voice
panicked, pleading;
fearful shaking
comfort seeking
"Oh my baby"
mother shrieking
running towards me
as I fell . . .
Unnerved
and distressed
remembering
nothing more
Although feeling altered
to...
#childhood
#NaPoWriMo2018
#LifeChangingMoment
733 reads
10 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
10th May 2018 7:02am
10th May 2018 7:02am
we only had an hour
we only had an hour -
so we went to the dollar tree
starving, neither of us had
eaten dinner. we fully intended
to succumb to the grumbling
of our sweet tooths
so, needless to say –
we left with boxes of
cookies, bags of candy
(lots of chocolate) and
ice cream. we sat in the
car and tried everything –
enjoying each other's
presence more than the food
we caught ourselves up on
all our problems – shared
our mistakes and messes.
we decided, again, like little
kids afraid of...
so we went to the dollar tree
starving, neither of us had
eaten dinner. we fully intended
to succumb to the grumbling
of our sweet tooths
so, needless to say –
we left with boxes of
cookies, bags of candy
(lots of chocolate) and
ice cream. we sat in the
car and tried everything –
enjoying each other's
presence more than the food
we caught ourselves up on
all our problems – shared
our mistakes and messes.
we decided, again, like little
kids afraid of...
#friendship
#narrative
#NaPoWriMo2018 #support
#NaPoWriMo2018 #support
483 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
8th May 2018 8:59pm
8th May 2018 8:59pm
color my soul
color me --
open my pages,
black and white
fill me in,
my empty lines --
give me life
add your touch to my blank spaces
make me yours
color me in
with a little bit of you
color me pink
like your lips
cover my surface with your kisses
color me blue
like the night
and color you by my side
color me gold
like the ecstasy I feel
as you caress me with your brushes
color me all shades of purple
because you know it's my favorite
color me...
open my pages,
black and white
fill me in,
my empty lines --
give me life
add your touch to my blank spaces
make me yours
color me in
with a little bit of you
color me pink
like your lips
cover my surface with your kisses
color me blue
like the night
and color you by my side
color me gold
like the ecstasy I feel
as you caress me with your brushes
color me all shades of purple
because you know it's my favorite
color me...
#love
#NaPoWriMo2018
#art
638 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
8th May 2018 5:08pm
8th May 2018 5:08pm
Lost in Paint
tuesdays
jeans and old t-shirt days
the studio's waiting
eat breakfast on the way
it's 9am
don't be late!
canvases line the wall
happy place
choose an easel
get out the paints
music up
set the pace
mix worlds of color
express and escape
forget about life
stress drifts away
you've been waiting all week
for a chance to create
absorbed in the process
laying beauty on clean slates
one stroke at a time
finding yourself
every tuesday
lost...
jeans and old t-shirt days
the studio's waiting
eat breakfast on the way
it's 9am
don't be late!
canvases line the wall
happy place
choose an easel
get out the paints
music up
set the pace
mix worlds of color
express and escape
forget about life
stress drifts away
you've been waiting all week
for a chance to create
absorbed in the process
laying beauty on clean slates
one stroke at a time
finding yourself
every tuesday
lost...
#beauty
#NaPoWriMo2018
#art
719 reads
2 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
8th May 2018 1:10am
8th May 2018 1:10am
Night
I don't shut down at night
like I'm supposed to
my wary mind
won't submit to the clock's
rules
won't abandon awareness or
succumb to the unconscious
won't surrender life to comatose
I won't let the night win me over
I make the most mistakes
at night
I find the most danger
at night
my judgment is blurred
at night
my darkest thoughts come out
at night
it summons me to its dreamland
where I'm free – released
into the timeless stillness
quiet
running...
like I'm supposed to
my wary mind
won't submit to the clock's
rules
won't abandon awareness or
succumb to the unconscious
won't surrender life to comatose
I won't let the night win me over
I make the most mistakes
at night
I find the most danger
at night
my judgment is blurred
at night
my darkest thoughts come out
at night
it summons me to its dreamland
where I'm free – released
into the timeless stillness
quiet
running...
#night
#NaPoWriMo2018
#insomnia #sleep
#insomnia #sleep
661 reads
12 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
7th May 2018 5:02pm
7th May 2018 5:02pm
Conquering Mountains
one step at a time
slowly trudging higher
muscles sore, steep climb
growing ever tired
dripping sweat, breathing heavy
don't you dare stop
gears keep turning, moving steady
inching towards the top
remember why you came
anticipate the view
don't think about the pain
don't let it get to you
you'll reach the peak at last
see its beauty on display
the struggle in the past
nothing in your way
confidence enhanced
you'll move on to higher heights
exploring deeper oceans ...
slowly trudging higher
muscles sore, steep climb
growing ever tired
dripping sweat, breathing heavy
don't you dare stop
gears keep turning, moving steady
inching towards the top
remember why you came
anticipate the view
don't think about the pain
don't let it get to you
you'll reach the peak at last
see its beauty on display
the struggle in the past
nothing in your way
confidence enhanced
you'll move on to higher heights
exploring deeper oceans ...
#motivational
#nature
#NaPoWriMo2018 #LifeGoals
#NaPoWriMo2018 #LifeGoals
934 reads
0 Comments
rosegold
Poem Published
6th May 2018 5:31pm
6th May 2018 5:31pm
ghost
I wandered this earth
like a ghost
faded, barely there,
unnoticed
passing over the world
letting it slip through me
powerless physically
but completely
and totally
free
a ghost
strange substance
a mind without matter
not bound by life's routines
or sicknesses and bodily needs
a ghost
misunderstood
on an earth polluted
crowds of hollow people
in empty human shells
pretty rotten souls
chasing temporary pleasures
and external sensations
blind...
like a ghost
faded, barely there,
unnoticed
passing over the world
letting it slip through me
powerless physically
but completely
and totally
free
a ghost
strange substance
a mind without matter
not bound by life's routines
or sicknesses and bodily needs
a ghost
misunderstood
on an earth polluted
crowds of hollow people
in empty human shells
pretty rotten souls
chasing temporary pleasures
and external sensations
blind...
#night
#shadows
#ghosts #NaPoWriMo2018
#ghosts #NaPoWriMo2018
644 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : NaPoWriMo2018 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2018 is curated by Ahavati (Tams).
