NaPoWriMo2017 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2017
napowrimo2017 seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
2nd May 2017 4:53am
2nd May 2017 4:53am
Beltane
Hello all... For the NaPoWriMo, I sought to write a cycle of 30 sonnets beginning with an Invocation and ending with a Thanksgiving - as I added an out of cycle poem (40 Miles Out of Gallop) - I finish the cycle here:
CYCLE’S END
As mid-Spring fires illume the forest night,
As maidens’ feet kick high on earthly floor,
The Goddess glows in horn’ed consort’s sight,
As vernal sprouts take form from winter’s hoar.
The frosted dark gives way before the dawn,
As Old Man gives himself to Easter’s want.
So fills the night ‘til lusts and...
CYCLE’S END
As mid-Spring fires illume the forest night,
As maidens’ feet kick high on earthly floor,
The Goddess glows in horn’ed consort’s sight,
As vernal sprouts take form from winter’s hoar.
The frosted dark gives way before the dawn,
As Old Man gives himself to Easter’s want.
So fills the night ‘til lusts and...
#nature
#spiritual
#NaPoWriMo2017
771 reads
2 Comments
Josh
Joshua Bond
Joshua Bond
Poem Published
30th Apr 2017 11:16pm
30th Apr 2017 11:16pm
Terzanelle Nr.01 — A Discipline of Tomorrows
NaPoWriMo 30/30 for April 30th, 2017
Villanelle/Terzanelle/Verzanelle/Tillanelle No: 30
{ Many, many thanks to Ahavati and Johnny for hosting (and amazingly at the same time partaking in) this DUP NaPoWriMo Comp - all your hard work, and postings, are much appreciated.
And to fellow entrants whom I have done my best to follow each day, also a big thank you for the group energy and posted presence that catalysed me not to let the side down (probably just an ego thing). I look forward to continuing mutual encouragement on the regular posting pages :)...
Villanelle/Terzanelle/Verzanelle/Tillanelle No: 30
{ Many, many thanks to Ahavati and Johnny for hosting (and amazingly at the same time partaking in) this DUP NaPoWriMo Comp - all your hard work, and postings, are much appreciated.
And to fellow entrants whom I have done my best to follow each day, also a big thank you for the group energy and posted presence that catalysed me not to let the side down (probably just an ego thing). I look forward to continuing mutual encouragement on the regular posting pages :)...
#beach
#NaPoWriMo2017
#rhyming
#LifeAsAWriter
#WritingPoetry
947 reads
10 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
30th Apr 2017 3:34pm
30th Apr 2017 3:34pm
Winds of Change
CYCLE IV: AIR
I’ve stood on steps of coliseums, erect,
Turned east to taste the cresting dawn’s assail.
I have in would-be king’s and shaman’s spect
Breathed air above my birth, behind the vale.
I’ve talked the shit and sung my songs 'fore stars
And drunks on fest’al stage and backroad dive.
My nose has known both rose and comely spars,
The scents of flower’s sex and lovers’ strive.
Yet no perfume, though it’s divinely found,
Nor scent that has increased my wanton girths,
Affects me as her voice...
I’ve stood on steps of coliseums, erect,
Turned east to taste the cresting dawn’s assail.
I have in would-be king’s and shaman’s spect
Breathed air above my birth, behind the vale.
I’ve talked the shit and sung my songs 'fore stars
And drunks on fest’al stage and backroad dive.
My nose has known both rose and comely spars,
The scents of flower’s sex and lovers’ strive.
Yet no perfume, though it’s divinely found,
Nor scent that has increased my wanton girths,
Affects me as her voice...
#love
#NaPoWriMo2017
#sonnet #PowerOfWords
#sonnet #PowerOfWords
939 reads
2 Comments
crimsin
Unveiling
Unveiling
Poem Published
30th Apr 2017 1:14pm
30th Apr 2017 1:14pm
hush nature speaks
the sunrise spoke to me
it uttered riddles
laced on spider webs
in dewy silence
the forests deep
with the wise sentient
soldiers of old
that keep watch over me
in the oceans wide
balm to my soul
a cool jeweled place
I ache now
my soul talks to Mother Moon
please tell me
the secrets of Father Sun
she smiles at me wryly
hush child and open your mind
watch and observe
each thing in nature
a living being
all doing their part ...
it uttered riddles
laced on spider webs
in dewy silence
the forests deep
with the wise sentient
soldiers of old
that keep watch over me
in the oceans wide
balm to my soul
a cool jeweled place
I ache now
my soul talks to Mother Moon
please tell me
the secrets of Father Sun
she smiles at me wryly
hush child and open your mind
watch and observe
each thing in nature
a living being
all doing their part ...
#love
#nature
#NaPoWriMo2017
#uplifting
#earth
1375 reads
32 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
29th Apr 2017 3:28pm
29th Apr 2017 3:28pm
An Air in Fourteen Lines
CYCLE IV: AIR
From Bach’s G String to Joey’s Blitzkrieg Bop,
From Bowie’s Major Tom to Paul’s Hey Jude,
Vibrations shimmer, waves engage non-stop.
With dancers, beat; with lovers, interlude.
Of stars and ages, music’s rhythmic thrills
Can give back youth and mind of first express,
A racing heart and first orgasmic chills.
Can break the heart anew of love’s egress.
How can a voice and drum bring spirits high;
How can piano’s softest push lay low?
The cannon fire of 1812 imply,
Of California Love or Liszt’s ‘moso. ...
From Bach’s G String to Joey’s Blitzkrieg Bop,
From Bowie’s Major Tom to Paul’s Hey Jude,
Vibrations shimmer, waves engage non-stop.
With dancers, beat; with lovers, interlude.
Of stars and ages, music’s rhythmic thrills
Can give back youth and mind of first express,
A racing heart and first orgasmic chills.
Can break the heart anew of love’s egress.
How can a voice and drum bring spirits high;
How can piano’s softest push lay low?
The cannon fire of 1812 imply,
Of California Love or Liszt’s ‘moso. ...
#music
#NaPoWriMo2017
#sonnet
723 reads
3 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
27th Apr 2017 4:11pm
27th Apr 2017 4:11pm
Raise in Praise
CYCLE IV: AIR
Bunch grass cathedral pray'rs, our sanctify.
Bright sun, as still as church, and Blazes' hot.
The dunes, our commune sacrament apply.
We, prostrate, naked, praise our god’s begot.
Once beachly crofts relenting worships’ bend,
Exerts, the Host and Holy Wine’s encase.
In service’ genuflecting, rhythm blends;
Our kneeling’s grace and fill of Holy Place.
When offers splash on tabernacle’s ark,
In melting stuff, gift sacrificial spill,
The sea’s divine procession’s...
Bunch grass cathedral pray'rs, our sanctify.
Bright sun, as still as church, and Blazes' hot.
The dunes, our commune sacrament apply.
We, prostrate, naked, praise our god’s begot.
Once beachly crofts relenting worships’ bend,
Exerts, the Host and Holy Wine’s encase.
In service’ genuflecting, rhythm blends;
Our kneeling’s grace and fill of Holy Place.
When offers splash on tabernacle’s ark,
In melting stuff, gift sacrificial spill,
The sea’s divine procession’s...
#erotic
#NaPoWriMo2017
#sonnet
831 reads
0 Comments
mel44
Poem Published
27th Apr 2017 3:48pm
27th Apr 2017 3:48pm
Arduous Path
Self-deceived, frequently lead astray
Fallacious fears, myself I betray
Never to realise through observation
Efficiently misguided amid temptation
Invariably travelling an arduous path
Routinely stalled in the aftermath
Typically stubborn to abide by instruction
Experiencing life’s awkward induction
A harshness along the road I roam
Yet carrying on until I find home
Not the surest means of survival
Although insight affords revival ...
Fallacious fears, myself I betray
Never to realise through observation
Efficiently misguided amid temptation
Invariably travelling an arduous path
Routinely stalled in the aftermath
Typically stubborn to abide by instruction
Experiencing life’s awkward induction
A harshness along the road I roam
Yet carrying on until I find home
Not the surest means of survival
Although insight affords revival ...
#strength
#rhyming
#NaPoWriMo2017
#myself
#learning
667 reads
2 Comments
crimsin
Unveiling
Unveiling
Poem Published
27th Apr 2017 11:00am
27th Apr 2017 11:00am
Jake
you're the poetic part of me
the pieces I can't reach
stained glass pain
so beautiful to behold
each panel of our life
tells a story
an addicted mamma
who set a path
for your gentle soul
to walk through the fire
there was no other way for you
I crossed into hell
carried you with me
only one way back
& it was through the flames
yet you don't hate me
your spirit too bright
for...
the pieces I can't reach
stained glass pain
so beautiful to behold
each panel of our life
tells a story
an addicted mamma
who set a path
for your gentle soul
to walk through the fire
there was no other way for you
I crossed into hell
carried you with me
only one way back
& it was through the flames
yet you don't hate me
your spirit too bright
for...
#love
#motherhood
#NaPoWriMo2017
1289 reads
34 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
26th Apr 2017 3:31pm
26th Apr 2017 3:31pm
The Scents of Battle
CYCLE IV: AIR
Air, whisper soft as rustled satin’s dawn,
And hard as jungle ‘vore’s impassioned roar,
In wafting hints of skirmish’ agents drawn,
Compiled in clash and screams, advance implore.
For certain comes with risen, dawning light,
The wind of battles’ fighting and yet fought,
The heated scents, exerts from contests’ might,
In sweat and froth, the force’ engagements brought.
Long may the night have known by candles’ smoke,
Components’ place and point in blown demark.
For in the dark of star’s slow pass’ invoke, ...
Air, whisper soft as rustled satin’s dawn,
And hard as jungle ‘vore’s impassioned roar,
In wafting hints of skirmish’ agents drawn,
Compiled in clash and screams, advance implore.
For certain comes with risen, dawning light,
The wind of battles’ fighting and yet fought,
The heated scents, exerts from contests’ might,
In sweat and froth, the force’ engagements brought.
Long may the night have known by candles’ smoke,
Components’ place and point in blown demark.
For in the dark of star’s slow pass’ invoke, ...
#erotic
#NaPoWriMo2017
#sonnet
775 reads
0 Comments
Josh
Joshua Bond
Joshua Bond
Poem Published
16th Apr 2017 8:19am
16th Apr 2017 8:19am
Villanelle Nr.05 — Easter Sunday Revisted
Mysteriously, when I did the sums it came to more …
the tragedies, the vexing and the pains went home for tea
ending for once the need to ask “but why, what for?”
The search for solid ground came flying o’er the tor
settling on my shoulders a lighter burden, just for me …
mysteriously, when I did the sums it came to more
Gifted yokes are easy when springing from an inner core
delighting heartfelt senses and lifting life for free
ending for once the need to ask “but why, what...
the tragedies, the vexing and the pains went home for tea
ending for once the need to ask “but why, what for?”
The search for solid ground came flying o’er the tor
settling on my shoulders a lighter burden, just for me …
mysteriously, when I did the sums it came to more
Gifted yokes are easy when springing from an inner core
delighting heartfelt senses and lifting life for free
ending for once the need to ask “but why, what...
#Easter
#spiritual
#NaPoWriMo2017
#God
#Christian
932 reads
8 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
15th Apr 2017 2:53pm
15th Apr 2017 2:53pm
Radius
CYCLE II: FIRE
Bend center point to bell line’s sallied curve,
Let sun-fire burn eternal death unseen.
With secrets of the smallest world disserve,
Prometheus’s touch rend all unclean.
As Icarus with Atlas’ weight upheld,
The world itself turned Sol upon its own
With Cherry Blossom’s once “long cape” immeld.
Let Fat Man strike, “broad island” ash and stone.
On walls are shadows sole reminders burned,
For all who still on winds in vapors blow.
And domes in molten metal’s twisted turn,
Black Arts were born releasing...
Bend center point to bell line’s sallied curve,
Let sun-fire burn eternal death unseen.
With secrets of the smallest world disserve,
Prometheus’s touch rend all unclean.
As Icarus with Atlas’ weight upheld,
The world itself turned Sol upon its own
With Cherry Blossom’s once “long cape” immeld.
Let Fat Man strike, “broad island” ash and stone.
On walls are shadows sole reminders burned,
For all who still on winds in vapors blow.
And domes in molten metal’s twisted turn,
Black Arts were born releasing...
#dark
#NaPoWriMo2017
#sonnet #mythology
#sonnet #mythology
745 reads
0 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
14th Apr 2017 4:21pm
14th Apr 2017 4:21pm
Immolation
CYCLE II: FIRE
We thought we fin’lly had the demon caged
But demons have a way of poisoning
The soundest judgements licked with fiery rage.
The demon gave with fire, new reasonings.
So parents pyred their own to made-god Baal,
As Daniel and his kin faced pagan fire,
Did Joan not burn, whose passion concurred all,
As witches’ smokes, the Puritans’ require.
Soon from above, incendiary’s blast,
With Dresden’s render ancient spires to flame,
And naked childrens’ run from napalm cast
On Viet Vills, our souls, the demon...
We thought we fin’lly had the demon caged
But demons have a way of poisoning
The soundest judgements licked with fiery rage.
The demon gave with fire, new reasonings.
So parents pyred their own to made-god Baal,
As Daniel and his kin faced pagan fire,
Did Joan not burn, whose passion concurred all,
As witches’ smokes, the Puritans’ require.
Soon from above, incendiary’s blast,
With Dresden’s render ancient spires to flame,
And naked childrens’ run from napalm cast
On Viet Vills, our souls, the demon...
#dark
#NaPoWriMo2017
#sonnet
768 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : NaPoWriMo2017 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2017 is curated by Ahavati (Tams).
