play dead

torn.
 
doing the normal,
Grateful Dead Radio, same
soundtrack to the first, second
and third beers
as any night after work
 
but, I got a new ache
one that these well worn tendencies
just ain't gonna satisfy  
 
thought at first Old Crow  
or Mumford or Doc Watson
something folky,
something that the story I want to live
might sound like
 
but that ain't quite right  
and the way back Blues  
sound too much like the apologies
that I am sick of slinging
 
the dusty digitals  
and big bottom basses  
have to wait
 
I want tonight to weave a rug
rather than cut it
 
the ganja ran too light for reggae  
and the rub-a-dub is tad too upright  
for the cleansing tears  
that I feel fortifying a question
 
that has just been answered  
by the slowest Stella Blue
that has ever leaked itself free from the  
 
nevermind.