cold love

i feel her cold hands slowy and loving caressing my face,whispers in my ear she loves then she shoves me away,makes me think of suicide visions of her in my brain,hoping i slit my wrist and cut all of my viens.but then she stops me and tells me im not worth her pain and that if i truly love her i must never give in.why does she torture me? at night her sweet voice puts me to sleep,but then a kiss from her cold lips sets insomnia free and only after comes the self pittying paranoid laughter i pitty myself cuz my love for her made my life a disaster.im her toy but she refuses to admit that i am,she sais she loves me but her love is hard to understand.now she proceeds to explain why she loves me, tears turn to snow as they fall from her pale cold cheeks as she tells me why we'll never be ''you complete me'' she sais ''but if you die we'll both be the same,i love yoy because you have something i will never obtain,i love you because you're the only man thats loved me even knowing my name.and even though i should incourage you to die,if you do i swear an eternity i'll cry'' atfter those words she hugged and kissed me, i felt dead for a momment when she said that she'd miss me. then i woke up in the e.r. bandages around my wrist,heartbroken,cuz i realized that,that was it.i closed my eyes tight cuz the pain was tearing my flesh,im just the guy that fell in love with death