waiting for death

i'm alone in this world full of chaos and sin
my grip on sanity is wearing thin
loneliness brings up thoughts of death and pain
the stability of my mind begins to wane

i hide my depression oh so well
but i cant count the amount of tears that have fell
i've cried until my eyes where wrung dry
then i a pray -no- i beg to die

i slit my wrist but never deep
then i drift into a haunting sleep
one day i know death will come
once this world has had its fun

it'll beat me and break me and leave me empty inside

it'll steal my friends and family and leave me with nowhere to hide

i don't want to live yet i'm afraid to die
my entire life i've been living a lie
pretending to be happy, playful, even intoxicated with joy
while no one notices its just a ploy

in all honestly i've already died
i'm a shell of a person; i've rotted inside
my heart has been broken my mind was already broke
my soul is a wreck and my emotions are a joke

if i cant handle myself then who could handle me
i see death as an opportunity to finally be free

i cant do it myself maybe someday i will
this worlds sure doing a fine job but its coming slow still
can't it end faster? can i hurry my demise somehow?
i guess i'll be patient... it wont be to long