deepundergroundpoetry.com
Outcast
She dyes her hair and cuts her skin
She starves herself and hides her body from others
In this battle it’s blood in and blood out
It’s her mind versus her heart
Every little detail about herself she hates
She cries and screams for help but no one hears her
She tries to kill herself daily but seems to always cheat death
she’s a monster, so why is she still breathing?
She starves herself and hides her body from others
In this battle it’s blood in and blood out
It’s her mind versus her heart
Every little detail about herself she hates
She cries and screams for help but no one hears her
She tries to kill herself daily but seems to always cheat death
she’s a monster, so why is she still breathing?
Published 17th Mar 2013
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likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 800
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Strong lines.
Perhaps a finessing of focus is possible.
Example: L7 "seems" grays the statement.
'Daily she tries to kill herself but always cheats death' is one way of tightening it to black and white.
Just my thoughts and impressions.
Interesting subject matter to treat with the word.
Oh, and why does L8 begin in lower case?
Perhaps a finessing of focus is possible.
Example: L7 "seems" grays the statement.
'Daily she tries to kill herself but always cheats death' is one way of tightening it to black and white.
Just my thoughts and impressions.
Interesting subject matter to treat with the word.
Oh, and why does L8 begin in lower case?
Anonymous
18th Mar 2013 2:09am
Wow! A life in turmoil, trying to get thru each day. Too bad no one takes time to love her and turn her around. Great write! :)
Anonymous
18th Mar 2013 11:32am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
18th Mar 2013 11:49am
Enjoyed....
I really like it
I really like it
30th Apr 2013 1:44pm
