The Truths Carved in my Bones

Fuck. Barely any dope yesterday no dope today. Only a minute amount of weed. and I find myself at the moment all speed freaks dread,the moment when they run out of drugs, money, and resources.

Apparently a certain retailer of power tools and hardware changed there reciptless return policy. And whats worse, is that now all the major retailers will follow suit, ending the way of life of many tweakers.

Will the tweak fiends die off withoutthe herds of department stores to feed them? I doubt it, the tweaker is a most resourceful animal, who will find a way to get the precious chemical they live for.

Bunny's here tonight, at my house where she intends to sleep next to me in my bedsheet and plaster paradise. That alone proves somethings wrong with her.

She's nowhere near Riahs breath stealing beauty, and Riah provided more stimulating and interesting company, but she has a car and is dumb enough that she'll happily go along with whtever I suggest.

Alicias in Westminister, where bunny and I are supposed to meet her and hopefully get twacked out. That is if Bunny will stay awake long enough. I could drive there but I dont know anywhere outside Aurora and I cant see shit at night.

Last night Alicia and me stayed at a motel six. Whether just to hurt my cousin or whatever the reason, its blatantly obvious she wants to fuck me. She walked around the room in nothing but a g string all night, showered with the door open, etc.

Too bad for her I could careless about sex right now.
Bunny wants the same, though shes much more shy about it than Alicia. She has less of an agenda then Alicia, and definately less than myself, but my libido is lifeless.

I show her small affections and she knows im going thru some shit, but I have little faith that ill heal from this latest heartache. What I felt for that girl was something I didnt know was real, and now wish wasnt.

She's fucking her ex, the same one my older brother told me that his ol lady saw her with, two days before she dumped me.

I wonder why your friends always seem to think you want to know all these things? I have enough wounds to pick at already, and they hand me fresh blades.

I see it in my head, and know just how broken I am by the fact that It causes me no anger only a deep sadness, and the feeling that the truth she carved in my bones was not her name, but lonlienss.

I'm a junkie, a thief, and I love will never smile on my soul for longer than a moment. I will walk along this road, paved with broken glass and razorblades, alone more often than not, and her name will be the word on my lips when I take my final breath.