deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unravelling mortality
The strangers and I will prevail,
with deviant heartbeats caving inwards.
We unravel secluded seams of mortality,
mauling the remaining frayed edges of sanity
with impatience evolving imperious.
You would've loved it here tonight.
I stained the stars glassy for you,
their fiery eyelashes blink away tears
in synchronization with mine.
Colours seep out of hiding carefully,
palpable and pulsing in my palm,
coursing through crevasses
and valleys undiscovered.
I slip into slumber on
my bed of sanguine,
as each starry nightlight
burns out one by one.
I think i'll stay
here for a while.
with deviant heartbeats caving inwards.
We unravel secluded seams of mortality,
mauling the remaining frayed edges of sanity
with impatience evolving imperious.
You would've loved it here tonight.
I stained the stars glassy for you,
their fiery eyelashes blink away tears
in synchronization with mine.
Colours seep out of hiding carefully,
palpable and pulsing in my palm,
coursing through crevasses
and valleys undiscovered.
I slip into slumber on
my bed of sanguine,
as each starry nightlight
burns out one by one.
I think i'll stay
here for a while.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 3
comments 26
reads 1054
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Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 6:28pm
I love this
I stained the stars glassy for you,
their fiery eyelashes blink away tears
in synchronization with mine.
Very expressive !!
I stained the stars glassy for you,
their fiery eyelashes blink away tears
in synchronization with mine.
Very expressive !!
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 6:30pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 6:37pm
Unravelling mortality, was the perfect title for this masterful write! Admirable Read!:))
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 6:37pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
Anonymous
3rd Mar 2013 7:28pm
A deep, dark & delightfully mysterious piece! My fave stanza is this:
Colours seep out of hiding carefully,
palpable and pulsing in my palm;
coursing through crevasses
and valleys undiscovered.
Wonderful work, as always, Scribbler! So much enjoyed! :)
Carlene
Colours seep out of hiding carefully,
palpable and pulsing in my palm;
coursing through crevasses
and valleys undiscovered.
Wonderful work, as always, Scribbler! So much enjoyed! :)
Carlene
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 7:41pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
Anonymous
3rd Mar 2013 7:38pm
really enjoyed this- loved every bit of it...It's dark but with a certain calm..near serene.
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 7:46pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
Anonymous
3rd Mar 2013 7:58pm
This is like taking a step beyond the mortal, towards immortal lands...great dreamscapes you paint with words!
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 8:01pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 8:21pm
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 8:25pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 8:33pm
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 8:35pm
Re: Unravelling mortality
3rd Mar 2013 10:53pm
The overall tone of the poem was calm and still, but not in the way that it was boring - it was enticing and inviting. The celestial images were helpful when trying to imaging "Unraveling Mortality".
I wouldn't mind staying there for a while too :)
I wouldn't mind staying there for a while too :)
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
4th Mar 2013 6:12am
Re: Unravelling mortality
4th Mar 2013 3:31am
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
4th Mar 2013 6:12am
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
4th Mar 2013 6:19am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
4th Mar 2013 6:30am
Re: Unravelling mortality
4th Mar 2013 1:10pm
Great job, Scribbler! I especially love your second stanza:
"You would've loved it here tonight.
I stained the stars glassy for you,
their fiery eyelashes blink away tears
in synchronization with mine."
Very vivid imagery, and makes me wish I'd thought of that one, myself!
"You would've loved it here tonight.
I stained the stars glassy for you,
their fiery eyelashes blink away tears
in synchronization with mine."
Very vivid imagery, and makes me wish I'd thought of that one, myself!
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
4th Mar 2013 2:58pm
Ahh, you don't need too.
Your lines are exceeding fantastic :)
Thank you for your comment :)
Your lines are exceeding fantastic :)
Thank you for your comment :)
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
5th Mar 2013 5:50am
Re: Unravelling mortality
24th Mar 2013 9:32am
This entire poem is just perfect. I am in awe at how well you write. I also love how you use uncommon words.
-Miss Morbid
-Miss Morbid
1
re: Re: Unravelling mortality
24th Mar 2013 9:52am