Recording Euphoria

Here comes the rush again,
Filling my mind with millions of
Scattered thoughts
All begging to be written down,
Begging to be, recorded.
They’re all inaudible and
          Incomplete.
Attempting to sift through it all
But I can’t, breathe.
Wishing the couch beneath me
Would stay still, wishing
These walls would stop shaking.
Can't think, can't focus
My mind feels so chaotic.
Another second passes--
The waters have calmed,
The knots I've pulled so tight
Have now loosened, and
Untied.
Sped up and relaxed simultaneously--
My life is contradicting,
Is that even a possibility?
Too fast, and
         So calm.
My tired heart is racing,
But my anxiety is..
All gone.
Head back, deep breath.
This
Is what euphoria is.
This
Is my idea of
Perfect.
But I’m not an addict.
I can still..
         QUIT.