Disney film.

I was feeling low the other day.
And in a moment of clear confusion
I ordered one of my favourite Disney films from Amazon.
Because, being a 'starving' student,
I have money to piss up the wall.

It came through today.
And as I put the disc in the tray
With a valedictory 'Boom, baby!'
To see the Emperor become a llama
I snuggled down into bed
Pulled my pillow into a bear hug.
Big grin on my face.

I can remember going to see this film
As an excited kid.
I couldn't tell you how old I was,
Or how old the film is.
But I could tell you,
That me and my cousin
Shouted 'NO TOUCHY!' at everyone for months.
And we covered everything in the stickers
We got with our Happy Meals from round the corner.
Chris put his on his micro scooter.
Added my name to the 'No Touchy!' sticker.
Because he knew I was green with envy
That he got a micro scooter before me.
Even though I'm six whole months older than him.

I'm 21 now. And I press play
With childish excitement.
I smile and sing along to the opening song.
Because I still remember the lyrics.
Because I'm that cool.

But then, something horrible happens.
I notice an extreme innuendo.
The first in a long line.
And I know they've always been there.
Something has to make the film funny
For the poor people like my Aunt
Who had to put up with us kids cackling at bogie jokes.

Then I recognise the actors' voices.
And I see them in their more recent roles.
As cynical, bigoted pig.
Womanising scumbag.
Table dancing drunkard.
And the innuendos keep on coming.
Ripping apart my childhood illusion.
Really hurting what would be my inner child.
If I had one.

And I watch this film, all the way through.
It makes me cry.
For lost innocence through experienced eyes.
Realising, that the child's film
Always had sexual connotations,
Metaphors for consumerism,
Capitalism, tyranny,
Murder, abuse, conspiracy.

There should be a bright side, right?
But there isn't.
I should be able to watch my favourite film
From when I was a kid,
Without horror.
Just imagine what today's kids will be saying,
When they watch their favourite film now, then.