a fine host

my hands are always red
blade trembling
i could wash my hands again
or not
i breathed in a voidspace
and pushed it around
deeper, deeeeeeper
my hands stink
like insides
its all i like
i taste the stench
with a smile
and cry a little
noisy walls
they are condescending
ignore it. manic sobbing.
i took 14. im so smart!
im falling apart...
i knew i could...
why didnt they love me
like i wanted?
nothing just shuts up
like i want.. not even
when theyre touching
four walls
cieling and floor.
red lips, red hips
red red red red red
they are still here with me
they talk to me and
they laugh at me.
death and hell
are bitter company
ill join them now
my friend is red again
she is kissing my spine
she loves to be red!
i make her so and
i am her will and
i am red as well
we can be red together
spilling out of me
following death
to hell