foreskin

Sometimes i wish my mom would have swallowed me, or at least taking me in the butt.
I feel like such an ass anyway,at the things that come out of my mouth,that either could have happened, and in some weird scientific miracle, i could have came into this cruel, selfish, torture, most call life. I found my true friends, and like a Kurt Cobain ending, their in my head.
I don't mean to sound so down all the time, but being high has lost its fun, so what else to do.
I found someone who i think i can get to love me, but I'm far to wrong for her to think I'm right,no matter how much i make myself look like i don't want her to know how i truly am.
 I'm finding it hard to write so fast, and my hand is making my breath run out, like somehow I'm speaking to someone who isn't listening, and still i complain and throw my opinions, like sombody will catch them, like i wish i could my words, so i wouldn't hurt those who try and help me.
I'm hopeless in a faith-based world, and faith-less in a religion i can't help but believe, cause I'm terrified of not enjoying the greatness they speak of.
If my contributions to this journal,could somehow change in the form of donations to myself, id be rich with charity.
 I love who i hate to be, and can't get over who doesn't love me any longer.
I've lost this battle, no need for war.