deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ruthless ebb, useless flow.
The feeling of butterflies caught in a net it's just like losing a never ending bet. People change, the Earth changes but one thing always stays the same, people blame and treat life like it's just a never ending game. Dogs eat dogs, and rats chase rats, the only way forward is to attack. Climb the ladder of empty opportunity and watch the world split and implode as it realises what it has become.
Published 14th Feb 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 597
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Feb 2013 3:24am
14th Feb 2013 3:23am
<< post removed >>
14th Feb 2013 3:33am
nice, but you need structure. Its pretty hard to get into the reading mode if the poem is written in a paragraph. Also, add more color to this piece. Good start though. :)
28th Feb 2013 00:50am
For someone who hasnt wrote a poem in a while this wasn't bad at all. I feel like the ideas of the poem are good but that it is more of a rant than a poem. Take a closer look at the poem and maybe rearrange the structure (poems in paragraphs can be offputting to a reader) Let me know when you write your next poem, I would like to see how you improve
