deepundergroundpoetry.com
...
Lost child where is you're soul
where is the shine you've so much time
don't haste on to the next page
Take time to understand so much is going on
you wish to run then sprint away
don't let anyone get in you're way
Know what you're doing then brace it with all you have
where is the shine you've so much time
don't haste on to the next page
Take time to understand so much is going on
you wish to run then sprint away
don't let anyone get in you're way
Know what you're doing then brace it with all you have
Published 27th Aug 2010
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 1060
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Aug 2010 9:37am
Its hopeful and positive. I like this a lot. I dont know if you like dark poems but if you do you should check out mine. :) Who knows? You may like them. Good job!
16th Sep 2010 6:01pm
Anonymous
21st Sep 2011 2:22pm
It is a nice poem, but as you have asked for honest critique, may I ask.
Did you forget the full stop / period on the third line? Or have you added the cap "T" in error on the next line?
Also...
"don't let anyone get in you're way"
Do you possibly mean...
"don't let anyone get in your way"
But all in all a nice read!
Thanks.
Did you forget the full stop / period on the third line? Or have you added the cap "T" in error on the next line?
Also...
"don't let anyone get in you're way"
Do you possibly mean...
"don't let anyone get in your way"
But all in all a nice read!
Thanks.
