Waiting-for-fish Fishing talk (An American in the South Pacific)

 
 
"Muhamed Ali was something else man. I watched a video on him last night, amazing, amazing. He could do stuff normal people can't do ya know, break all the rules of boxing and still hit hard. Some people say Ali wasn't a hard hitter. That's B.S man. Last night they showed him hit some poor buck 6 or 7 times, bam bam bam bam. This guy he hit, maybe 260 pounds and built like a silver-back, he was out by the third punch, just too freakin' stoopid to fall down. Ali's daughter was on there talking about him. She was saying he was so fluid he was almost feminine. Ali was great man. Ya gotta love those people for the way they move. I had a guy working for me state-side, he was a state champion boxer, little guy, moved like a mongoose ya know. I used to go see him fight. He fought like it was a war. Beautiful guy too. Nothin' goin' upstairs, total dead stare, but the guy could fight. It's the genes ya know, the warrior. I had to let him go in the end, he just didn't have nothin' left.
 
 I tell you what boy, the local guys, you don't wanna give 'em anything to drink. They drink like the way they fuck thier women, or like they eat. You give 'em a beer for doin' a good job, fifteen seconds later they say "'notha one boss?". I say "why, did you enjoy that last one?". I had a friend, american guy, new here right. He asked a local fisherman onto his boat for a drink. This local guy, I mean he was freakin' huge, and commercial fishermen, they're barely human anyway right? So my friend gives him vodka. Straight vodka. This local gorilla drinks the whole bottle in about 20 minutes and then starts getting all belligerent, busting up this guys boat. Well, he gets me on the radio and says "you gottta help me get this brown guy off my boat". I said "the hell I do!" You gave the sum-bitch the vodka, you figure it out". I'm too old, and injuries heal to slow, for that kinda deal. I wouldn't have taken that guy on with four white guys, let alone two.
 
 I used to fish in Mexico for 20 years before I came here. The town I was in started out with 5 thousand people and when I left they had 100 thousand. I had to motor 2 hours offshore before the water stopped smelling like human shit. I had to leave in the end, it just got too crowded. And the locals, the Mexicans, they started wanting western prices for everything ya know, like they were owed it. I said "forget this" and looked around for something better. That's how I got to be here. World class fishing, first world boats and third world locals. Can't beat it.
 
Those mexicans, they protected their women too. The whole country has a massive inferiority complex about being the only third world country in north america right, so they didn't like their women mixing with the white guys. This one mexican guy was having a wedding so he asked me if I could get him some porn, for the stag party, and I said "sure, I got some good stuff". It was standard american stuff right, white guys with 14 inch cocks. So I give it to him. A few days later I say "How was the party?". He says it was good but the porn was a bit strange. I say "why?". He says that all the guys had these huge cocks and I say "all white guys have 14 inch cocks. What size do Mexicans have?". He probably still worries about all the white guys in town and their huge cocks.
 
I was here about one month and a local girl says "you should have a girlfriend". I say I don't need a girlfriend, I'm 57 ya know, I don't need an old woman hanging around. But thats the thing about here. Here the local girls don't care how old you are. It means nothing to them. Age just isn't a thing. As long as you stay in shape and your cock works you can have any age you want. I've got me a twenty three year old. I tell you boy, she likes to fuck. I'm buying viagra on the internet now just trying to keep her happy. She was shit at sex at first but ya know, they're so innocent these women you tell 'em "in your culture you fuck like that, but in my culture you fuck like this" and they say OK. You can have 'em set up how you like 'em ya know. You have to watch though, 'cos these island girls, you marry one and they start to put on weight, like 50 pounds in a year. Their friends say "Girl, you are getting fat!" and they all giggle like crazy like it's a good thing. If a western woman was told that she'd freakin' shoot herself right. So I tell my girlfriend all the time "don't get fat. Don't you eat that mutton fat. Don't eat those yams". She gets mad but they gotta be told right. It's a shame what these women do to themselves.
  
The women here, they got no rights. You can even beat 'em and if they call the cops the cops will say "what did you do to deserve it woman?". Hell, the reason they love the white guys is the local guys will take 'em out, get 'em drunk, hit them with a rock and fuck 'em. I don't even think they care if they cum, they just wanna get their cocks wet. The women figure they're gonna get fucked anyway, so why not let a white guy do it? At least he'll buy them dinner, right.
 
The real problem here is that the local girls you meet in the bars are the ones you don't want. The good girls, the ones you really want, they are at home with theirs mums. My girlfriend, she lives in a one room place in a village on the other side of the island. I pick her up sometimes. I swear there must be 10 people living in that place. She comes over to my house and I mean it aint big but it's just me and her in there. She can't get enough of that. It's like I'm a big deal. Hell, she even has a baby of about eight months old and I ain't never seen it. I think she figures I'll run ya know, so she just gives it to her aunty or something. I don't ask 'cos it's not my deal. They are different about stuff like that, not so maternal I guess.
 
I think that this is the last time I'll move. I'm getting old now and I need to take care of myself. This place is it for me. It's paradise right?"


[an older piece, back on a whim, as it laid]