What have I become?

Just so you know, none of this rhymes.

What have I become?
As a kid, I never expected this.
The scars and the pain, but why?
I never wanted this.
I let a woman control my life.
I let my friends down.
I am an outcast.
I am not meant for this world.
I am an extra, in my own movie.
I never expected being this kid.
The kid dressed in all black.
The kid contemplating suicide.
The kid no one likes.
I can barely talk.
So I write.
I have a book.
But every page is the same.
I have scars.
But they solve nothing.
We all have faults.
But mine are overwhelming.
At least I have her.
Or do I?
Material as friends.
Music as family.
I have Cooper.
But he is tired of listening.
I stopped telling him the bad.
It is engulfing me.
The fights are back.
I have nothing.
Why take care of myself?
My closest friend is states away.
And they like me for what they see.
But they don't see it all.
No one does.
What have I become?
Nothing.
I am nothing.