Not afraid anymore

Im not afraid anymore
1-13-13 I watched your chest raise for the last time.
As you took your last breath,I quickly began to loose mine.
I felt the pain of loosing you creep into my heart.
It pierced so bad,it felt like flamming hot darts ripping thru my flesh.
Thats when i realized I honestly had nothing left.

No matter how much we fought,we made it work
Can you see me dying,knowing tomarrow we have to lay you in that dirt.
I still remember the day I lost us,I watched the pain rip thru you as you tried to hold it together holding me pleading to god so i wouldnt loose it just to give me sanity,but all i could think of was you.How bad I failed you by not protecting the one thing that mattered most.

Did you feel my tears as they hit your face,I layed on your chest trying to hold a str8 face ,but then something inside me broke cause as funny as i wanted to make it ,this SHIT wasn't a joke.
I get up every morning waiting for your gm TickleMeBrown call .
Im answering my phone but i cant hear your a sound.
Last time we spoke I told you I hated you,knowing I could really never,But now my hate you's took you away forever and I cant get you back,Im stuck here trying to piece togther all the cracks.

You said you would never leave me ,no matter how hard it was to stay.But you took your last glimpse of me ,then decided to give your life away.Remember Dec 6th when my heart stopped & you begged me to come back,I felt your tiny tears and the small angel you laid on my bed.Why wouldnt you let me go if you knew you were leaving me ,I feel like we played russian roulette and you tricked me.I used to be afraid to Die,But not anymore next chance i get im running thru HEAVENS door.Cant wait to see you there.