What Is This?

It creeps up on me when I'm ready to sleep
Without it I'm lonely, but with it I'm bleak
Feels like a lost soul, roaming the dark.
I wish it wasnt real, just a sick, non-humorous lark
It follows me by day,  acts like it praises me
But I want it to go away, cause' by night I go crazy
I'm scared of lonely, but I was alone from the start
This unwelcome company, needs to depart

I've been feeling really strange, since you've disappeared
Afraid to start a new, since the end is always near
My ghost of present's past is always ready to haunt
With an eerie stare, lifeless smile, and a face so gaunt
Now your soul still lingers here, since your body's been gone
I'm starting to think our decision to part was wrong.
Lately I've been drowning In the tears that you left me in
Looking forward to the end because my life is so pedestrian.
Before I've always said, the worst solution was killing.
But a solution to my endless problem, to do that is something I'm willing.