I close my eyes and reach

I close my eyes and reach out for you.
My hands meet nothing.

I open and realise you are miles away,
Like the sea from a distant tower,
An isolated land, away on the horizon.

A fleeting illusion I want to be true,
One that never was.

And if I think otherwise I am fooling myself,
Spinning my mind into another ravine,
Losing myself in a labyrinth of remorse and regret,
An ocean of complaint,

One that gets me nowhere but,
One step behind,
One step closer to someone I don't want to be.

A pathetic shell,
A waste of a human being.

And the truth is you don't ever matter,
Not now, not then.
And all I need to do is stand tall and walk on,
Leaving you in my dust.