touch

Wow, this is really really good, for such a short poem. The "ocean of hell" reminded me, of course, of the lack of fire, and is such an original term for that. I like this a lot.

there's this mediation technique something about transcendence i forget the style but after i wrote this i remembered someone saying going into that meditative state and being in an ocean of consciousness.. i guess kinda like going into a different dimension.. seeing the "we are all one" energy field or something.. that's what i imagine.. well they talk about a lake of fire in the bible which i didn't even think about while i was writing this.. there were more lines to this originally but i like it better this way.. im glad you like it

i like touching, but yeah, sometimes it sucks.

hell is definitely an ocean. I wish i could believe in it.

i used to believe in hell before i dechristianized myself at 27 (hard not to believe in hell when my father, a preacher, must have said the word a million times) and when something is driven into your skull for ages its hard to get away from.. like smoking or drugs or any life style.. this poem was inspired by a biblical story actually when a man in hell was begging for just a drop of water on his tongue to have just one moment of peace from the pain.. for me the ocean of hell is life itself and the drop of water just one touch from a girl hand.. one moment of that heaven.. if you can dig..

How do you wrap up need and want and tenderness and despeartion and a thousand different other overpowering feelings in just two lines? You must just be a genius :]
<3

youre sweet thank you for looking into my poem and seeing all i intended to be in so few words.. xxx

its lyrical. it was funny as when i just saw the two lines before i clicked on 'see poem' i was actually hoping that there wasn't any more to it because I wasn't really sure anything else could improve it! for me though it seemed kind of erotic but perhaps i needed the biblical allusions

nah didn't need anymore.. it actually started with more but it took away from it by adding more.. i hope the biblical allusion doesn't take too much away from the eroticism..