deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Magical Writers Are Next Door!
I feel like being a nuisance
to upset concreted minds
there may be no logic today
my thoughts unrefined
Tiptoe like an elephant who sees a mouse
muddy thoughts may contradict
for this is my playground for exploration
the nonsense gets heavy and thick
Whom are we writing for?
is it just a need deep inside
what if no one reads your compositions
how to deal with an unreadable tide?
For maybe I am alone in this regard
more able writers get everything read
my attitude to the poems not commented on
should I see them as left for dead?
But can't just be for others
for even with the unreadables I have pride
all were stepping not stumbling stones
going in and out of the tide
And since my first poems were well before time here
yet to be seen by the eye's of another
kept close to heart
and cherished like a lover
Really if the truth be known I find more joy
in looking at other people's skill
just hoping some quality rubs off
would be better if pursing a pill?
So you've been warned, you take your chances
reading the meanderings of one like me
no pretense to a superior command of skills
novice fits me right to a tee
to upset concreted minds
there may be no logic today
my thoughts unrefined
Tiptoe like an elephant who sees a mouse
muddy thoughts may contradict
for this is my playground for exploration
the nonsense gets heavy and thick
Whom are we writing for?
is it just a need deep inside
what if no one reads your compositions
how to deal with an unreadable tide?
For maybe I am alone in this regard
more able writers get everything read
my attitude to the poems not commented on
should I see them as left for dead?
But can't just be for others
for even with the unreadables I have pride
all were stepping not stumbling stones
going in and out of the tide
And since my first poems were well before time here
yet to be seen by the eye's of another
kept close to heart
and cherished like a lover
Really if the truth be known I find more joy
in looking at other people's skill
just hoping some quality rubs off
would be better if pursing a pill?
So you've been warned, you take your chances
reading the meanderings of one like me
no pretense to a superior command of skills
novice fits me right to a tee
Published 6th Jan 2013
| Edited 7th Jan 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 3
comments 18
reads 900
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Jan 2013 12:27pm
We're all novices here Jazz, it's just too bad
we're not all given equal footing.
Human nature here, is no different than the outside world
where tyranny grows in leaps and bounds.
Look how their cracking down on those Occupy Wall Street
protesters. Decent is no longer allowed.
They're being classifying as domestic terrorists, and what have
they done, but exercise their right to Civil Disobedience
as Henry David Thoreau so aptly advocated.
When the machinery of government becomes a tyranny
and a burden upon the people, it is the people's right to resist it
and is why the founding fathers gave us a second amendment.
And yet the majority remains silent, as their liberties
are stripped away. They cower in fear and hide.
It is no different here.
Yes, there are some fine strong people here, who do resist
and speak out.
And to those who do, I salute you.
And I salute you Jazz, because you are among them.
Claudia
we're not all given equal footing.
Human nature here, is no different than the outside world
where tyranny grows in leaps and bounds.
Look how their cracking down on those Occupy Wall Street
protesters. Decent is no longer allowed.
They're being classifying as domestic terrorists, and what have
they done, but exercise their right to Civil Disobedience
as Henry David Thoreau so aptly advocated.
When the machinery of government becomes a tyranny
and a burden upon the people, it is the people's right to resist it
and is why the founding fathers gave us a second amendment.
And yet the majority remains silent, as their liberties
are stripped away. They cower in fear and hide.
It is no different here.
Yes, there are some fine strong people here, who do resist
and speak out.
And to those who do, I salute you.
And I salute you Jazz, because you are among them.
Claudia
Well it appears that you directed the microscope at society, saving your ending comments for me.
The guy who has been involved in saving Thoreau's Walden Pond, Don Henley, wrote in a song:
"Have you noticed that an angry man
Can only get so far
Until he reconciles the way he thinks things ought to be
With the way things are
Here in this fragmented world, I still believe
In learning how to give love, and how to receive it
And I would not be among those who abuse this privilege
Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge"
I think I could do worse then to take these words to heart.
Peace,
JAZZMANOR
The guy who has been involved in saving Thoreau's Walden Pond, Don Henley, wrote in a song:
"Have you noticed that an angry man
Can only get so far
Until he reconciles the way he thinks things ought to be
With the way things are
Here in this fragmented world, I still believe
In learning how to give love, and how to receive it
And I would not be among those who abuse this privilege
Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge"
I think I could do worse then to take these words to heart.
Peace,
JAZZMANOR
6th Jan 2013 10:02pm
Claudia for President...yoou have the brains and balls...your country needs you...go for it kiddo. I believe in you
Anonymous
6th Jan 2013 6:18pm
Wonderful write, youre right, the wonderful writers are next door, their not enigmas waiting for miracles, much enjoyed this poem!
6th Jan 2013 9:37pm
Thanks---I have to honest, I didn't give much thought to the implications of the title until now!
6th Jan 2013 10:26pm
Great write and perceptive, but I am not sure that it is empirically correct. Some with the most reads have very few likes which begs the question why?
Ideas.
1. This is perceived as an erotic poetry site first and foremost so erotica will get more hits. Human nature.
2. So put poems under 'Erotic' and use hooks
a. Hook 1 Sexy name to poem. Grabs the eye that only has a second to decide.
b. Hook 2 Sexy first few lines " " " "
c. Or Give it a sexy name and make it x rated. Guarantees 200 useless reads just because people cant resist the tease.
d. All the above plus get a name for quality work and people will keep coming back.
Next People go for 'Love' so use some of the above hooks to increase views.
Other Titles use the same tricks do your best and wait.
Someone mention Cliques O dear! they exist and if your work is so mundane as to have to be in one then go ahead and make a fool of yourself. The truth always outs.
More tricks...hang about at the door and flatter newbies as they join up so that they feel wanted.
nothing wrong in a welcome as long as the intent is right.
spend all day making inane comments to as many people as possible to give them the
incentive to read your stuff out of conscience.
crank out small variations of that mountain of work cranked out in huge quantities
for effect but with little substance. No one will remember...no one will check.
so you think that is cynical? I put the same poem on my pages twice...different name
no one has noticed. Q.E.D.
mmm you got something started there my friend.
Ps ...will delete above if you pay me...one Lady in Red ;-)
Ideas.
1. This is perceived as an erotic poetry site first and foremost so erotica will get more hits. Human nature.
2. So put poems under 'Erotic' and use hooks
a. Hook 1 Sexy name to poem. Grabs the eye that only has a second to decide.
b. Hook 2 Sexy first few lines " " " "
c. Or Give it a sexy name and make it x rated. Guarantees 200 useless reads just because people cant resist the tease.
d. All the above plus get a name for quality work and people will keep coming back.
Next People go for 'Love' so use some of the above hooks to increase views.
Other Titles use the same tricks do your best and wait.
Someone mention Cliques O dear! they exist and if your work is so mundane as to have to be in one then go ahead and make a fool of yourself. The truth always outs.
More tricks...hang about at the door and flatter newbies as they join up so that they feel wanted.
nothing wrong in a welcome as long as the intent is right.
spend all day making inane comments to as many people as possible to give them the
incentive to read your stuff out of conscience.
crank out small variations of that mountain of work cranked out in huge quantities
for effect but with little substance. No one will remember...no one will check.
so you think that is cynical? I put the same poem on my pages twice...different name
no one has noticed. Q.E.D.
mmm you got something started there my friend.
Ps ...will delete above if you pay me...one Lady in Red ;-)
A formula for getting read---think I would rather eat rat poison. Heck I can't even write a poem for a competition if my life depended on it! (and yes I did detect the criticism directed to poems that follow your guide)
Gotta love the DU world!
Gotta love the DU world!
7th Jan 2013 2:15am
You and I know that competitions are for fun only, unless they have either a stopwatch or an expert** panel. Here**
x = unknown factor
spurt = a drip under pressure
x = unknown factor
spurt = a drip under pressure
6th Jan 2013 11:42pm
Novice you are not. Your mind is a powerful tool and you use it magically for your poems.
kg
kg
7th Jan 2013 2:11am
Oh I tend to think that the magic is found with the eyes of a reader but I concede that I could be in error.
9th Jan 2013 11:11am
9th Jan 2013 4:49pm
Thank you sir. Although I refrain from getting involved in the bulk of the chats and discussions the question of who we write for was debated several months ago---and was back there in my head.
10th Jan 2013 6:12pm
Everyone seems to agree with you my friend...
As of this writing you already had 13 comments and 7 likes (count me in) but still only a few reads. This goes to show that if you wrote something good and relevant even if it's not erotic, people will notice.
Kudos, mi amigo!
As of this writing you already had 13 comments and 7 likes (count me in) but still only a few reads. This goes to show that if you wrote something good and relevant even if it's not erotic, people will notice.
Kudos, mi amigo!
10th Jan 2013 6:56pm
Now looking at what I penned, I think I was seeking discussion about writing what is good versus writing what is popular. They don't have to be exclusive but frequently are.
17th Jan 2013 5:31am
17th Jan 2013 4:56pm
17th Jan 2013 5:37pm
17th Jan 2013 5:39pm
