deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ripper
By the gas light she followed
Moon lights glow diminished
The fog fell like a shroud
Sound takes over
Being stalked
Footsteps
Her pulse quickened
Not alone
The smile no more
Her mouth dry
Closer
Touching distance
Be quicker
Her thoughts racing
Hair grabbed
Gripped blade
A scream in confined spaces
Blood slicking the hand
By the gas light she followed
Her pulse slowed
The knife replaced
Next time she would be quicker
Next time
Her smile returned at such devilish thoughts
Moon lights glow diminished
The fog fell like a shroud
Sound takes over
Being stalked
Footsteps
Her pulse quickened
Not alone
The smile no more
Her mouth dry
Closer
Touching distance
Be quicker
Her thoughts racing
Hair grabbed
Gripped blade
A scream in confined spaces
Blood slicking the hand
By the gas light she followed
Her pulse slowed
The knife replaced
Next time she would be quicker
Next time
Her smile returned at such devilish thoughts
Published 3rd Jan 2013
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3rd Jan 2013 9:09pm
Ah! finally "Fanny, by Gaslight", is low Jacking the rippers terrain. Devilishly good read ;-)
3rd Jan 2013 9:19pm
Nice tnx for reading :-)
Slight twist on dark history
Never caught so maybe fanny did plunge the knife afterall. XD
Slight twist on dark history
Never caught so maybe fanny did plunge the knife afterall. XD
4th Jan 2013 2:58am
Tsk! Tsk! Fanny Margaretta, you demonically clever little minx to be sure, lettin' "Saucy Jack" take all the blame for your "bloody" (pun, though bad I realize,intended-lol) reign of slice and dice! Well....as it is often said: She who slashes and gets away, lives to slash(and enjoy)another day! (I know. I know. Sooo bad,lol! Plz forgive, ok??)
I really did appreciate your unexpected spin on this most infamous legend. Your descriptive word choices truly speak to the readers' senses--visual, auditory, tactile--in a style that actually draws them into the very "soul" of this piece, and captures--and holds--their attention to its conclusion.
Btw--her smiling at her "devilish thoughts", in accomplishing her next victim's demise so much faster--is so morbidly perfect!
This poem is a wickedly wonderful read! Anticipating your next posting !
(Just a thought...I wonder who derived more pleasure from her brutal butchering: the murderess(Fanny??)in your poem, or Miss Lizzy Borden with her famous axe??? HMMM....I wonder??
Thanks for sharing your dark creativity--once again.
Watching, and lurking among the shadows,
Enchantress
I really did appreciate your unexpected spin on this most infamous legend. Your descriptive word choices truly speak to the readers' senses--visual, auditory, tactile--in a style that actually draws them into the very "soul" of this piece, and captures--and holds--their attention to its conclusion.
Btw--her smiling at her "devilish thoughts", in accomplishing her next victim's demise so much faster--is so morbidly perfect!
This poem is a wickedly wonderful read! Anticipating your next posting !
(Just a thought...I wonder who derived more pleasure from her brutal butchering: the murderess(Fanny??)in your poem, or Miss Lizzy Borden with her famous axe??? HMMM....I wonder??
Thanks for sharing your dark creativity--once again.
Watching, and lurking among the shadows,
Enchantress
4th Jan 2013 6:23am
Haha. Why thank you kindly for your wonderfully descriptive comments
Yes i loved writing this one, i did think about editing but decided to leave it as it was "the smile no more". Poss "her" and poss move the line. But small things really
I feel to much editing and you dilute the story, it beomes manufactured and not straight from the writers soul
This piece is (blowing my own trumpet,badly!) But this peice is up in the top five ive ever written lol. Says a lot for my poor poetry. Haha.
Yes i loved writing this one, i did think about editing but decided to leave it as it was "the smile no more". Poss "her" and poss move the line. But small things really
I feel to much editing and you dilute the story, it beomes manufactured and not straight from the writers soul
This piece is (blowing my own trumpet,badly!) But this peice is up in the top five ive ever written lol. Says a lot for my poor poetry. Haha.
