b r o a d w a y

 

sitting under an striped umbrella by the pool  
i wonder why i am sitting there in the very first place  
then about the point in wondering [if any]  
 
afterwards  i blink  
try to yawn audibly and fail 
chew on the bland gum  
 
then i  
try to burp  
move my shades [by puckering my nose]  
stop breathing for some time  
raise my head  
try to stare at the sun  
squint hard  
start to move my legs sideways [slow at first and then with a viciousness]  
whimper [in a moment of induced whim]  
let a trickle of iced coffee froth run down my chin  
shudder violently  
 
and
  
watch a sea of humanity  
pour in my direction  
men women children  
 
the women gush concern  
the men show interest
and the children  
well they just smile  
and look across  
[or probably thru me]  
 
with closed eyes i try
to imagine all these unknown faces [a whole set of expressions]  
while the stage light keeps getting brighter  
than the midday sun  
 
until that's all i see  
with my airtight eyes  
 
hands hold grope touch caress  
whispers words sounds seep in  
 
a smirk gets born  
[so much for throwing away  
the box of Ritaline]  
welcome to the show  
 
i am the guinea pig  
i am today's entertainment  
and i am
the puppet master  
 
i am everything
nothing  

i am your whore  
so come fuck me  
with your eyes and hands  
with the love and the concern  
with your borderline desperation  
then ejaculate
your lack of
indifference  
your blobs of
belief [in the flawed act of my staged death]  
 
later
all of us
can go home  
happier
than
before








[re-issued]