Lucky That

New year’s eve spot of leave
Drive my car going far
Country road not too broad
Rain lashing wipers flashing
On full speed
Just to see ahead of me

Something not right steering tight
Pull over Range Rover
No overcoat never thought
Should've brought
Oh well what the hell
Out into the rain bloody pain
Tyre flat as a witches tit I’ll not be changing it
Then: Oh shit!
No signal on my phone can’t get help or contact home
Into the rain yet again
This no ordinary shower wheel change takes me half an hour
Piss wet through freezing blue

Get there at last driving too fast
You’re late she whines look at the time
Tell what’s happened to me no sympathy she
Was feeling bad now feeling mad
Could've turned back bitch should be glad
Bollocks! I’m going home
Spend New Year on my own

That was ten years or so ago
Look at the poor sod she married
He looks as happy as a bloodhound
Licking piss off a nettle
Whilst I'm still happy and in fine fettle
It could’ve been me if I’d tarried
Ye gods! I’m well out of that
And all because I got a flat
Lucky twat! :-)