Perennial Fragmentation

She was by her lonesome, writing. I stopped by her  
I asked her if the spot next to her was taken  
She simple ignored me, but I took it as a challenge  
I sat next to her, she stopped writing and snapped  
"Did I say you could sit there?!" And my reply was  
"No, but I assumed that your silence was an approval"  
She was pissed beyond belief, and weirdly enough I found it cute  
"Well, DON'T ASSUME!" I simply smiled at her and said  
"I won't. Next time" I peeked at her notebook to see what she wrote  
"What're you doing?" I asked, hoping for her sarcastic charm  
"What does it look like I'm doing?" She asked as she rolled her eyes  
"I know you're writing, but what about" I replied, still smiling  
"death" she said with a smirk, one that I'll never forget  
I was shocked yet amazed by the way she answered my question  
"Isn't that a bit morbid? Why would write about something like that?"  
She tilted her head in a menacing manner, she smiled  
"Because it's funny, in a really ironic way.. We are so obsessed about living  
Our lives to the fullest, when the second we're born we already start dying"  
She laughs, and I was vaguely disturb "okay I think I'll just leave"  
I couldn't resist to turn around and hear her singing  
I was about to leave when she grabbed my hand, and introduced herself  
"I'm Ciel" Ciel was her name and I was in awe, hell I was enthralled by it  
I tired to tell her my name, but she said that it wasn't yet time for that  
Time for what? Telling her my name? That was weird of her, but then again she is weird  
She was an oddball, and well.... I guess I'm a sucker for oddballs  
She grinned at nothing particular and said "I wanna show you something"  
I paused, and pondered what that meant..."Uh. Okay" and I started walking with her  
"Where are we going" I asked she simply replied "You'll see.."  
 
It was an old place, floorboards half-rotting and almost a living, breathing thing itself.  
She'd been all alone in that house, and I could never remember to ask her why.  
I could never imagine what she must've been going through, nor would I ever know.  
It all started like that. Little twisted encounters. Things like that.  
She was always in the corner of my eye, in the back of my mind.  
I'd never actually even see her but I'd feel her gaze on me.  
Everyday I started visiting her in that house, She would always greet me with a subtle smile  
I visited her the same time everyday, then one day I ran a little late  
Little did I know that she herself had an everyday schedule for something  
"Hey, sorry I ran a little late", she grins at me weirdly and says "hi"  
"Ciel, you're shaking. Are you cold or something?"  
"Nah. Not cold, never-- just forgot to do something" She then takes out pills and downs them  
I was worried. "Hey, you shouldn't be taking that!" She laughs and says  
"Too late" She smiled at me, I was deeply worried about her.  
"You know you might die of an overdose, right?" I said  
"Well we're all gonna go someday, might as well choose how" she said  
I put my hand on her shoulders and said "But not yet, okay?"  
She answers like a child "Mmhm", she changes the topic and says  
"Race you to the lake!" She runs laughing and I run after her.  
We'd be like that for weeks, seeing no one but each other,  
I found that no one else wanted to go inside that house  
No one except for me, but I never said anything about this to her  
One of us going down to town every now and then to buy food.  
She loved fast food, I always nagged her about it  
I never liked it. Leaving her alone like that, I never liked it.  
No one was kith or in it so deep in the way she was.  
She was always alone, even when she was with me.  
I always felt that she was always alone, and I knew I couldn't change that.  
 
I come back with a bag-load of stuff, food, and pens and paper mostly  
"Ciel?" I dropped the bag when I saw her lying on the floor and perfectly motionless  
I could do nothing but sit next to her on the floor, and stare at her  
For a few long seconds, I thought that maybe she really did go, on her own terms.  
I thought that it was a beautiful day outside, and I was all alone out here, half of a whole  
While she was finally free, free from all of it: the pain, the hardships. Just simply free  
"Did I scare you? Did you fall for it?!" She said as she shoots up laughing, hugging me.  
"Pffft...No way, Heck no" I said laughing as well, I did fall for it  
It was around the Yuletide season, I realized she was insane.  
I saw her that day, feverishly scattering salt on the window,  
I worriedly asked "What are you--" She cut me off by saying  
"Shhh. For the ghosts. So they can't. They won't catch us."  
She began muttering they won't catch us over and over, putting salt frantically on window  
I grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eyes, assuring her  
"They won't catch us" She then calms down a bit, smiles and handed me some salt  
Both of us scattered it on the window. I couldn't resist her.  
Even if she were to refuse my help. I would've refused her refusal.  
So that's how it went. One day she was a friend and the next she was every constellation,  
Every guidepost and road home. She was insane, and maybe I loved her for it. I did.  
She went out for a while. I stayed behind. I felt something was wrong. Very wrong.  
The door burst open and it revealed her "I did it!" She said grinning.  
"Did what--" I said as I turned around, only to see that she has a blood-stained knife in her hand  
"What did you do?" She so happy, I've never seen her so happy.  
"I did it! I got rid of the ghosts--" her words were cut off by sirens.  
"Cops?" I asked, she answered "Yeah...run?" I shrugged helplessly and sat down  
She grinned and sat down saying "Then we stay." She quit a long time ago. I just recently quit.  
I gently took the knife from her and place my arms around her shoulders. Then she whispered  
"It's just...sometimes I can't stand how good my life is, you know?" I smiled sadly and whispered back "I know"  
"By the way, my name's Chantielle"  
 
I moved my hand and--  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
We never do make it out of that house.  
 
 
 
 
 
(kinda long^^)