Self Imposed Prison

I torture my soul, this I admit
I sold my soul, for the price of a hit
I told myself, I’d never do this again
I’ll lose my mind, my family, and all of my friends

 I’ve paid heavy prices, for doing this stuff
But when will it end, and when is enough
I try to comply, and do the right move
It’s the same old result, I always seem to lose

 My soul is battered and bruised. I can’t take much more
I’m ready to die, I knock on deaths door
But death doesn’t answer; I’m stuck with this life
I pray for peace, but my reward is strive

 I could carry on tradition, put a gun in my mouth
Put up no fight, take the easy way out
If I reap what I sow, then they’ll be no gain
I will have left my family, to deal with my pain

 So I’ll suck it up, give it one more try
I hate myself, but I really don’t want o die
I’ll ask God for help, in making this decision
 Then I might find release, from this self imposed prison.