Christmas rain

…          
         
         
Awake at the grey of first light        
as the rain          
on this Christmas morning          
is suddenly violent          
         
I get out of bed          
pace the house          
check all the windows          
are fastened          
         
then I return to bed -          
and as suddenly as it awoke me          
the rain ceases                   
and then silence          
         
the most complete
and unavoidable          
silence          
I have ever known          
         
the silence lowers heavily over           
the entire house           
till all I can hear
is my breathing
         
and the faint ghosts
of my children          
dancing
in my mind          
         
then          
the rain returns          
building quickly into another rage      
against this day of celebration          
         
I have never been
so happy    
to hear the rain
on my window