Clenched Teeth

I think people are laughing at me
But I know no one knows
What's going on in my head?
I can't seem to catch a grip
I feel so fucking stupid
I feel so  damn ignorant
It used to be easy, ya know?
Ask my why I'm alive
I could have told you a million reasons why
Could have...because I want to die
Die die die die
It's this little voice in my head
It repeats it over and over like a broken record
It's the only way out
The only thing to stop the pain now
I can't live my life when I feel like it doesn't exist
I keep trying to flash a smile
But I just can't anymore
Clenching my teeth, I try so hard not to cry out
I keep forgetting that no one cares
Keep forgetting that I have to do this by myself
"You can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped."
But what about the people nobody wants to help?
What if you sat there waiting, asking?
And no one came, no one
But when I release my clenched teeth,
People leave
I'm a lost cause
And I keep listening to the same song
It flows so rhythmically in my head
I think I'd feel better,
If I was dead.