deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sunsight by William Marsland
sunrise infects me
strokes and wakes
with oven hot mitts
making pimples sprout erect
you can see them/it
fucking up a sightless face
working in unison
an invisible tag team
slapping me around
sunrise infects me
penetrates me cock-like
fucks me over deliciously
inseminating my waking hours
with half life images
of blacks on black
spent sparklers fizzling
sunrise infects me
emotional sprinkler systems
whir and whiz
throwing imaginative waters
onto the fires of real vignettes
snap shots of once seeing eyes
sunrise
has always infected me
------------------------------------------------
it was inspired by le rayon du biscuit poetry challenge
and opheliacs poem from the same challenge
Published 23rd Jul 2010
| Edited 24th Jul 2010
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 880
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jul 2010 7:17pm
i wish there were words to describe this poem!
it's stunning! im glad my poem inspired you thanks for mention it
it's stunning! im glad my poem inspired you thanks for mention it
23rd Jul 2010 11:00pm
thanks for the kind words (unless you meant that it was so bad you couldn't describe it :P )
often i see lots of people saying "i have writer's block etc" if that happens to me i just look at a few of the poems i enjoy (like the one you wrote) and i open up like a hooker's legs.
not saying i write any good after reading something. but what i read seems to light a fire in me.
i'm glad and thankful that you gave me the match
often i see lots of people saying "i have writer's block etc" if that happens to me i just look at a few of the poems i enjoy (like the one you wrote) and i open up like a hooker's legs.
not saying i write any good after reading something. but what i read seems to light a fire in me.
i'm glad and thankful that you gave me the match
24th Jul 2010 7:39am
24th Jul 2010 1:03pm
There are certain phrases in this that are so beautifully explicit and just...fucking in it..if that makes sense. Like:
'sunrise infects me
penetrates me cock-like
fucks me over deliciously
inseminating my waking hours'
For some reason though, for me, the term 'sunrise infects' doesn't fit in with those images..it's kind of a mismatch. Like it isn't a strong enough phrase or something...anyway aside from that the poem as a whole just swallows you in this lovey delicious way. I like it.
'sunrise infects me
penetrates me cock-like
fucks me over deliciously
inseminating my waking hours'
For some reason though, for me, the term 'sunrise infects' doesn't fit in with those images..it's kind of a mismatch. Like it isn't a strong enough phrase or something...anyway aside from that the poem as a whole just swallows you in this lovey delicious way. I like it.
24th Jul 2010 10:40pm
24th Jul 2010 10:41pm
thanks for the feedback.
i'll have a good think about your feedback on that particular phrase.
i'll have a good think about your feedback on that particular phrase.
