we'll have september

The "my child" is a wee bit cute, but other than that this is a fucking awesome poem, Nathan. Those final lines - "breathe me in/we'll always have september" - are perfect, almost tear-jerking. I love your economy of language, and how you say so much through so few.

tear jerking is good.. and so is so much with so few words.. these are my goals.. i thank you that you feel ive accomplished this.. cheers!

I love that line: 'our embrace will echo on the edges of everything that remains'....but I don't want to be left on the edges.

i know *hugs*

it's filled with sweetness, it's so romantic and sensational. i can't help to be amazed more astonished in the best way ,i must say, with every poem you publish!

youre so sweet rafaela.. thank you for your continued support and kind comments.. they keep me going.. keep me writing.. keep me from going insane just letting all this mull around in my skull.. i must be heard.. thank you for opening your heart and ears

You are probably going to hate me for saying this but...
you know when you read a poem and some parts are not up to the standard of the rest of it? Well, apart from the first three lines this piece is amazingly AWESOME!!!

These three lines are good but brings the poem down to a lesser level than its true potential.

There, I said it. Don't hate me:)

i suppose i can see your point theyre not great but staying as is for now unless i figure something different to put in there.. thanks for your criticism.. and thanks for complimenting the rest of the piece.. cheers!

Personally, I feel that the first three lines do a beautiful job at setting the stage for the rest of the poem. It is hard to find an opening line that makes me excited to read the next line and your opening line did just that.

thanks much... kinda having writers block atm so the readers have to settle for my older stuff for the time being... glad you dug my piece.... very emotionally charged and driven