deepundergroundpoetry.com
White
you're heavenly,
and white,
and sometimes it hurts.
the roughness of your lips
and the peeled skin on your fingers
the way you keep your nails nice and short
never have I ever
been denied
from something I want as much as this
I'm trying my best to remember each note you sing
and each reaction and expression that you bring to me
the way your jaw curves in
it's aesthetically pleasing
and the way your shoulders reach out
just far enough,
well, I could try and grasp it all day,
and the way your eyes deepen
enough for me to drown
and your steady breathing,
mixed with your erratic heart beat
bring me to the surface
your voice travels where no one else has gone
leaving sweet nothings,
and melodies,
tied together
with the works of your mind
and white,
and sometimes it hurts.
the roughness of your lips
and the peeled skin on your fingers
the way you keep your nails nice and short
never have I ever
been denied
from something I want as much as this
I'm trying my best to remember each note you sing
and each reaction and expression that you bring to me
the way your jaw curves in
it's aesthetically pleasing
and the way your shoulders reach out
just far enough,
well, I could try and grasp it all day,
and the way your eyes deepen
enough for me to drown
and your steady breathing,
mixed with your erratic heart beat
bring me to the surface
your voice travels where no one else has gone
leaving sweet nothings,
and melodies,
tied together
with the works of your mind
Published 18th Dec 2012
| Edited 20th Dec 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Oct 2013 7:33am
I know how it is to want so badly to define and describe someone you want to keep in your memories. Trying to pinpoint every detail so you won't forget. I find that it can be a very difficult task but absolutely necessary for people like you and I! Sometimes...there just aren't words that exist to truly put someone on paper...thats when you realize how special they really are. Beautiful emotions on display in this piece and there are lines here that flow beautifully! Continue working on your mechanics. In poetry, less is more...so to speak, but not too little ha! Your lines will flow better by cutting off unneeded words. Remember, it's the readers job to interpret. This applies to poetry as opposed to expressive writing or sing lyrics. For example:
Never, have I ever
Been denied
Something wanted
Such as this
Trying my best to remember
Every note you sing
Every expression you give
And reaction you bring
Beautiful words! I know exactly how you feel! Working on your mechanics will help your words flow better for the reader and cause an emotional response to your writing. It will "feel" better. I hope that makes sense...I think it's a better way to explain it than all the technical terms because those didn't really resonate with me in poetry class! I look forward to reading more of your writing...the nature of it seems similar to my own. :)
Never, have I ever
Been denied
Something wanted
Such as this
Trying my best to remember
Every note you sing
Every expression you give
And reaction you bring
Beautiful words! I know exactly how you feel! Working on your mechanics will help your words flow better for the reader and cause an emotional response to your writing. It will "feel" better. I hope that makes sense...I think it's a better way to explain it than all the technical terms because those didn't really resonate with me in poetry class! I look forward to reading more of your writing...the nature of it seems similar to my own. :)
