Love and other drugs

The burden of beauty that keeps    
tormenting my skin,    
the love of thee that comes    
only with label,    
"beauty", if not I'm doomed.    
I can't compete with  the normal female,    
that one! yes,  the one you yearn to  
have intimacy with!    
   
It is not me the beautiful me that was; taking    
sedative to ease the pain, the misery of  the    
pills taking by day. I keep forgeting I'm not with thee.    
I keep forgeting I'm a suffering slave.  
   
And I remind myself  you are not with me.  
the pain is inevitable to stop.    
Why am I not with you? because your    
not with the less fortunate.    
"You believe you can do better".  
   
I don't want it!  No I don't;    
Your pity is more than a sword through my throat.    
Yes!  I need the drug and the love too,    
both to keep living this misery;  
I can't let it go. If I could just disappear,    
I would be there in the other side of my  
reality pushing my luck once more.