deepundergroundpoetry.com
nothing else to blame
Woe is me and my head
My ship is heavy w burdons for no one to see
Keep up appearances on the outside; make it like art
While letting the insides slowly break apart
Long strands of hair make a beautiful mess
The tangles tie between my mind and what is going on outside
But i feel them loosening their hold on me fast
fall away from me slowly in the breeze like a friend saying good bye you were fun to try
Even my body knows I have to slow down.
Time to weigh in what is binging you down
So i went to war
I loosened the grasp on a dream or two
cut every corner and burned every bridge
I thought it was the food,
I thought it was the stress
I even blamed you, like I always do.
Then I cut them all loose.
But theres irony to this one man show.
The weight is still inside me & I'm sinking alone.
I should have known.
The girl will go down with her ship.
My ship is heavy w burdons for no one to see
Keep up appearances on the outside; make it like art
While letting the insides slowly break apart
Long strands of hair make a beautiful mess
The tangles tie between my mind and what is going on outside
But i feel them loosening their hold on me fast
fall away from me slowly in the breeze like a friend saying good bye you were fun to try
Even my body knows I have to slow down.
Time to weigh in what is binging you down
So i went to war
I loosened the grasp on a dream or two
cut every corner and burned every bridge
I thought it was the food,
I thought it was the stress
I even blamed you, like I always do.
Then I cut them all loose.
But theres irony to this one man show.
The weight is still inside me & I'm sinking alone.
I should have known.
The girl will go down with her ship.
Published 15th Dec 2012
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15th Dec 2012 8:25pm
i think u need to push ur use of metaphores (however its spelt) further, why stick with the simple stuff, like that long strands of hair line.
surely u can find much more interesting and exciting ways to explain whats goin on with u, if ur in a hurricane dont just say its windy! id also advise u to stay away from the standard issue drug problem stuff, unless u can really wow/shock/scare ur reader.
peace
x
surely u can find much more interesting and exciting ways to explain whats goin on with u, if ur in a hurricane dont just say its windy! id also advise u to stay away from the standard issue drug problem stuff, unless u can really wow/shock/scare ur reader.
peace
x
