Abstract

What the hell am I doing here?
I been lost for some time now and I'm so full of Fear.
Fear of losing myself inside a place so cold,
Fear of fading away before my life unfolds.
Fear that the one love I have left in life,
Will leave me to my loneliness, leave me to my strife.
Fear that, in these states of mind, I'll lose control,
And nothing will be left of me, or of my mortal soul.
Fear that I'm just nobody to every one of you,
Its fear that drives most everything I do...
What the hell am I doing here?
All I ever want these days is just to disappear.
Evaporate into the fog and blow someplace real far,
Or, maybe I'll shoot for the Sky and fall unto a Star.
Maybe I'll just lay outside and let the cold take me,
Take my fears of loneliness and send me into Sleep,
Where I will dream of memories that just wont seem to fade,
And fear will ever be something I managed to evade.
Maybe I'll just drift away and slowly go insane,
Cast myself into the pit and free myself from pain...
What the hell am I doing here?
Everything's distorted, I no longer see things clear.
It's like an abstract painting hanging on the wall,
Really could be anything, but it's nothing at all.
Just illusions stuffed inside your mind,
So you always have something to find.
It may be old, may be new,
But what you find is never true.
It's just a game that we're all forced to play.
What illusions will we find today?...
What the hell am I doing here?
What makes me want to stay with Paradise so near?