So I Vanished

I am reminded so much of my ugly
and cruel ways. My flaws are painfully
clear and pointed out, shoved in my
face like a dog's nose is shoved in
spit.

You words are all digging so deep but
I keep smiling like they don't. I just
wanted to know what it was like to be
called pretty for once.

I don't want to be a tragedy, I don't
want to be ugly and cruel and fat and
stupid and a failure.

I want to be beautiful, I want to be
cherished and wanted and loved but I know
that I never will.

I didn't want to cry anymore, or hurt,
or be reminded of why I shouldn't be alive
anymore.

So I vanished.