perfectly flawed

my mirror always tells me
that i am distorted and unclear
i am not what i see
i'm so consumed with fear

my dark cold days
are filled with anxiety and pain
i fear the world beyond my window
i'm filled with so much shame

societies cruel joke
brings me low self esteem
tortured end on end
i'm doomed it may seem
 
to see the scars mark me
these unsemetrical maps
i mask myself with a smile
but i know i've already snapped

these obsessive thoughts
contain so many flaws
rape me with overdoses
and my scars become raw

i'm finding life difficult
to feel happy when with friends
i'm decieving them with my emotions
i'm too messed up to mend

i'm considering suicide
in my mind i want to end it all
i know i'm too weak to do so
even though i know i will fall

you may not notice this
i found it hard to believe
but if i don't find help soon
i'm just going to cry and bleed