Trying Not To Fall

There are many things in life we try to avoid,
like death and shadows of past memories that
frighten us so deeply.

My biggest fear is love, vulnerability to another
just in an attempts to somehow achieve a deep and
understanding joy?

Seems exhausting, sounds pointless, and I'm sure
it'd end in disappointment.

When you come near I try to make my heart stop
racing and my cheeks stop heating up, but it seems
like a useless battle.

An unarmed man, swinging his fists at hundreds of
men in heavy armor with heavy blades riding upon
muscled horses. Full charge.

I keep trying to stay balanced on this beam as I
walk across hot lava, or angry herds of people with
hands that want to yank me down into the misery of
heartbreak and pain.

I am trying to keep my balance, trying not to fall,
but every time I see you, my center is thrown off into
disarray and I come closer and closer every day to falling
down into the depths of love.